How to talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

#social #rizz #socialskills

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Most people want to be spoken to, flirted with, teased and given the chance to escape their continuous mental chatter and dull existence. 

But oftentimes we have no clue how to begin such interactions or, worse yet, we're terrified to do so.

So we remain in silence, stare at our phones and are the first ones to frantically press the button to open the lift.

And it's because of our reluctance to start the interaction that we cherish those few individuals who take it upon themselves to initiate the conversation while they’re standing in an elevator, queuing in line at a cafe or simply passing us by on the street.

So how do they do it?

0:00 Your worst nightmare...
0:57 (1) Go first, go positive & be constant in doing it
1:44 (2) The multidisciplinary approach to socialising
2:36 Allow me to share a secret with you...
3:41 Don't worry, you don't need to be a dog
4:45 The ultimate hack to talk to ANYONE
6:15 Outro rizz

Title ideas:
The social hack which changed my life
How to become a social magnet
How to socialise with anyone
How to improve your social skills

#socialskillscoaching #flirting

[NewelOfKnowledge]

1 month later, allow me to clarify some things...

The main counter-arguments to this video in the comments are:
- "I couldn't think of anything worse than someone trying to talk to me all the time, let alone start a conversation with me in an elevator! Plus there's not a one-size fits all approach to socialising! Anyway, who cares?"

So here's my response:
- To interpret this video as "this guy is just saying we should ALWAYS avoid silence" is missing the point.
- Silence is sometimes necessary if what you're after is a sane mind.
- The example of the elevator was an example (emphasis on the word "example"). I used it to illustrate any scenario you might find yourself in where you might want (key words "might want") to spark up a conversation with someone.
- However, if you're an unsociable fellow who prefers his own company to some random British man with a moustache trying to talk to you about god knows what in the hopes of having a lively conversation, that's fine. Knock yourself out with your solitude.
- But for those of you who do want to occasionally speak to strangers and improve your approachability, I made this video for you.

Regardless of what camp you fall into,
Thanks for watching.
Lewis

[therambler]

The oldest trick I've learned is treat every stranger like an old friend from high school. Absolutely works wonders and immediately breaks the tension.

[jamesnewham]

First 15 minutes after arriving in the US for the first time, a woman got in the busy elevator and faced everybody instead of the door and was just talking at everybody.

As a Brit, I've still not recovered from this.

[jakedespppp]

Finally realized I have to go bald before I can talk to people ty

[Johnnymoonlander]

Silence doesn’t have to be awkward. Silence just is

[ac]

I don't like to make conversation in a place where it is liable to be cut short permanently. What is awkward is people's intolerance of quiet.

[Kronos]

I actually have friends who are masters at this, hence why they're loved by everyone. They are super positive and make you really feel heard and understood. I don't know anyone as energetic, positive and "safe" as them. One day I'll ask them how do they do it, but maybe I already know the answer...

[EliSingsSometimes]

I've never fully understood why people trusted me so fast. People would tell me i'm their only "safe place" or i would meet someone and they would tell me later they immediately felt comfortable.

This really broke it down for me and helped me understand what I do.

I am the type of person to toss compliments at people, go up to a stranger to say they look like a celebrity (i do this very often) or something random to make them smile, and try to, at least once a day, verbalize how much the people I'm close to matter to me. Sometimes in a small speech about how much I love them and appreciate them, other times just a quick "thanks for being there for me, man."


I love the feeling that I'm helping people around me. I love knowing someone smiled for just a few seconds after walking by me because I said i loved their new hairstyle or their outfit looks especially good. I love knowing people feel like they can trust me without any fear I'll break it.

I love to love. Thank you.

[gustaveriksson]

What's funny is that in my adult life I've found these conversations easy to start and get into. My mindset is basically that it won't matter if that girl doesn't like me or will continue talking to me, she doesn't know me so the "me" that's rejected is just what she thinks is "me". Quite frankly I've had a lot of success with people doing this. It helps that I'm naturally friendly, curious, social, and interested in what they have to say.

[ianmuhota]

Hey Lewis! My name's Ian. A while ago I came into the gym u used to work at and wanted to say thanks for being really nice to talk to! Best wishes for your YouTube channel Ur content is really helpful!

[synthozy]

Hey, mate! A similar situation happened to me today when I was in the elevator and this pretty girl entered it. I managed to find her during lunch time and we started talking. Well, we gonna go out for a walk tomorrow, since she’s new in the city. Cheers from Brasil, mate! All of the best

[berkefeil]

What’s also important is feeling ok being on yourself. It results in a confidence social interaction rather than a desperate one. If you’re not content with who you are alone, you’re probably not content with who you are with others either, and people pick up on that energy

[wizcatcheslightning]

Interestingly enough, you can also use mirrored reciprocation to better negotiate/avoid conflict. For example, if someone says something, anything really, you mirror their response back at them.

Person: "I'm so frustrated with your department"
You: "You're frustrated with the sales department?"
Person: "Yeah, our VP of project management is telling us to try and align with with the expectations your department is setting for the clients. And those expectations are unrealistic for us to fulfill."

Next, you never ask a "why" question. "Why" questions make people inherently defensive because they sound accusatory. Instead, ask a "what" question...
You: "What makes you frustrated specifically?"
Person: "Well this employee of yours promised this (goes into detail about an unrealistic expectation that was set)".
You: "Ah, well if they had attended that enablement workshop from last week, they should know better. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'll correct their course!"

Issue resolved in a mostly non-confrontational confrontation, all because you mirrored their frustrations and gave them an opportunity to elaborate without making them feel the need to be defensive.

[ballistic]

I relish the moments you guys call "awkward silence". I live for that shit

[Novalty_]

remaining silent or not greeting someone when you feel the tension like you should always makes it more awkward in the future.

[rodkata]

This man right here deserves all the love and attention

[javachopTV]

I do this all the time, it’s pretty fun. I’m more connected with strangers than my own friends at times.

[freddo]

Ive listened to alot of these kinds of videos, but ive never come across the "give them something to solve" idea. Thats a very easy way to start a fun interaction. Thanks man!

[EcomCarl]

Peter's insight on mirrored reciprocation is a powerful reminder that the energy we emit is often the energy we receive. Starting with a positive, caring attitude can transform our interactions and bring about mutual respect and love. 🔄

[TrustEngineers]

I'm probably the only socially adept person in the world who finds it absolutely non-awkward and natural to just stay silently next to a random person for a prolonged period of time. There's no need to have a conversation or a small talk if you don't feel like it. No need to awkwardly lower your sight or look around, or look in your phone even if you don't need to just to look busy. Just wear a confident face expression, slightly smiling, lean onto the wall and look straight. You don't have to apologize or feel awkward just because you HAD to be in this elevator with a stranger. There, in fact, very little situations in life where you HAVE to feel awkward. In most cases, you CHOOSE to feel awkward. Just remember that. Also, 4:13 -- That number is SIGNIFICANTLY understated. I don't think the author of the video followed his advice in real life, because most conversation starters he mentioned would be considered cringe in real world.