8 Highly Sensitive, Intense and Gifted Adults Problems in Relationships

Dating an intense person and dating as an intense person come with unique challenges. These relationship struggles may include emotional difficulties, misunderstandings, boredom, and the frustrations that come with not being able to find someone who matches intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. One of the biggest and most painful challenges highly sensitive, intense and gifted adults can face is how difficult it is for them to find partners that understand their overexcitabilities. In this video essay, you will find eight common highly sensitive, intense and gifted adults people find in relationships, and four pieces of advice on what you can do to deal with them.

Table of Content:
8 Highly Sensitive, Intense and Gifted Adults Problems in Relationships
Boredom, Impatience, Loneliness
You Carry Past Pain Into The Present
You Need a Lot of Space To Yourself
Your Partner Doesn’t Get Your Sensitivity and Needs
You Search For Deep Meaning In the Modern World
You Pick Up On Everything
You Suffer From The Consequences Of Being Parentified
You Have The Tendency to ‘Overfunction’ in Relationships
Relationship Advice For Gifted Adults
Reflect on the differences between a life partner and a soulmate
Be mindful of shielding as a defence mechanism
Know yourself, and accept yourself
Stop trying to control the outcome, seize every day as it comes
Concluding Words

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Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

[lanarodrigues]

I feel so heartbroken when I find someone who ressonates with this deepness and intensity inside, but for some reason they cannot meet me in the love field. I feel like it´s very difficult to connect with regular people, but it´s 10x harder to find someone who "gets you" and is also willing to put down their walls to let you in, because of all the trauma described in the video. It´s hard to accept the fact that you might never be trully seen and understood by your peers, and the loneliness might never go away.

[lindatallon]

We are light years ahead intellectually...

[paulojrmsantos]

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

Jidu Krishnamurti

Thank you for your work.

[legalfictionnaturalfact]

And when you find someone, and then it doesn't work out, the pain is totally blinding because it's so hard to find someone.

[shereeclinton]

I just often feel like I have dumb down. And always want more.

[jacknjill]

I was wondering for a long time I’m a great guy and why it’s so hard to find someone and others are also surprised I’m single for a long time. Now tgat I realized I’m gifted, now I better understand why this is happening. Which solves a big puzzle and I already have long ago adjusted to being alone and it’s not that bad. Now I want to know what else I may have to look forward to or make more sense of the other things that may come with ppl. that are gifted and intense.

[mariannelabanane]

I feel that I absolutly can't build a relationship with someone, which mean the risk of the entire collapse of my world if I get used to that person and if she leaves. It could be impossible to survive the pain. I protect myself from it, staying well away, alone, safe. Grounded alone. Thank you so much for your work Imi Lo, you have such a just and profound comprehension and word it so well. You are a bright light in the dark. You bring a balm to my heart ♥

[zqxzqxzqx]

How about a video on such problems in non-intimate relationships, like friendships, etc.?

[NorthernFlyer]

This is describes my entire life sadly.

[thijsjong]

You pick up that the person someone lies to the most is themselves. This goes for most people. Other people either dont notice or dont bother to confront the person with the lie they tell themselves.
I observe a lot of things. See patterns in behavior. Predict behavior.
I have been diagnosed with autism. Maybe I put up walls around me because I picked up unresolved trauma around me in adults a could not do anything about it except shut it out. I went into my body to evoke the emotions stired in my body and break out.

[vc]

You say don’t shield.. life is worth loving? How is that when every time I attempt to love people I’m treated like shit, dismissed and rejected. I’d rather be cold and shielded than to keep hurting like this.

[tachikawaaki]

I'm at the last step of an NPD abuse relationship. Being stuck in an "abandonment" state, being neglected, my reputation got damaged, and losing my moral control...
In my head, I have pretty clear visions of my death, when and how. Only depends on what comes next to trigger the system.
I'm glad that this article, not only reversed my suicidal system, but also taught me how to love to full, for myself.

[trippy]

I like this in general, but the idea of settling for a life partner who is not also a soulmate makes me physically ill. I don’t even see how that’s possible, let alone desirable. I couldn’t even experience initial attraction. I feel that a partner ought to be a passion, not in a “silly” limerent way, but in a deep-soul-resonance way, much like my intellectual passions. I understand that I’ll potentially be single forever.

[ididthereading]

Kinda wish I could just make a transcript of this my dating profile

[nancybartley]

I have been forced to accept that I'm a weirdo and will experience life alone. Society seems to suggest that we have personality problems. Maybe that is true but maybe it is more complicated. We just don't have much in common with others.

[upwardthought]

Thank you so much for this content. You have an amazing gift of instantiating deep experience into words.

[scotte]

Thank you whole heartedly for this video! 🖤

[rabbitwonyo]

Thank you so much for this video. It really helps me understand myself better.

[jameslinton]

I am grateful to have my wife, although it is difficult to completely synergize, she keeps the loneliness at bay. Group dynamics are an entirely different beast, I can manage but feel so exhausted towards the end. It hurst because I love people and each one has a unique essence but after a certain time at a "dinner party" I start to feel overwhelmed; I try to self-coach and it works for a while, but the inevitable flight is already in motion. Is there a suggested regimen for planned isolation and socialization that Imi or anyone here has discovered?

[ThunderSen]

Is there advice for people who are gifted and have issues of intimacy due to childhood trauma?