How to Thrive as A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) comes with a unique set of benefits. HSPs often exhibit a deep capacity for empathy, making them attuned to the emotions and needs of others, which can enhance personal relationships and foster meaningful connections. Their heightened sensory processing allows them to appreciate subtleties in art, nature, and everyday experiences, often leading to a rich inner life and creative expression. Moreover, their ability to notice nuances and changes in their environment can contribute to thorough and thoughtful decision-making, providing an advantage in both personal and professional settings. Finally, the reflective nature of HSPs can lead to profound insights and a deep understanding of complex situations, benefiting problem-solving and emotional management.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

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00:00 Introduction
00:28 Heightened Sensory Processing
00:55 Emotional Intensity
01:44 Depth of Processing
02:25 Sensitivity to Subtleties
03:27 Differences from Being Overly Emotional
03:58 Emotional Regulation
07:20 Presentation of Problem/Challenge of being an HSP
10:02 Empathic Burden
12:19 Sensitivity to Criticism
13:26 Boundary Difficulties
14:06 Pursuit of Perfection
15:18 Positives of an HSP

[katieg]

Let's acknowledge that Dr.Fox was nice enough to repost this video without the sound effects that seemed to bother so many HSP's out there. :) Only an HSP would do that I think.

[Focus]

I just found out about this a few months ago and it has been such a revelation for me. SO many people including my partner, don't often seem to understand my depth of processing, deep feelings and detailed thought processing. I used to say "why can't I be like other men who don't feel so deeply"? "Why can't I relate to other men" and "why do I struggle so much to find people who want to talk on a deeper level?" I felt like someone with a fork who lives in a world full of soup. The world needs people who have alot of empathy, care and sensitivity, despite the world saying these are weaknesses or not valuing these things, especially in men. Thank you, as I no longer feel that there is something wrong with me, and I actually now grateful that I was created this way, despite the struggles it brings.

[SanamJanamian]

Having highly sensitive sensory processing is such an important element in HSPs. If you’re not sure, ask your parents. My mom has told me a story which was odd for her to understand. When she had me around age 1, my family went to visit the shrine of the Shias eighth imam as tourists. Apparently I suddenly start screaming as soon as they enter the shrine out of blue. They had to leave because I didn’t stop. When I cried I would cry for a long time. I’m extremely sensitive to smells, I LOVE good scents and even have vomited to bad smells. The bright lights makes me tear, but very dim light make me tired easily too. as a child I would cry because I could sense one shoe was always slightly aa tighter fit than the other. Airborne and food allergies are my lifetime struggle before I was even born!!! Sensitive skin, sharp eyes for details, strong intuitions to the point of telepathic…. I feel physical pain when I see injured people. You know you’re extremely highly sensitive as soon as you read/hear about it.

[harlawood]

I always say when I’m overwhelmed (especially shopping in a store without a list) that it’s like being a bird in a seed factory! I figured out some time ago I was a HSP when I was watching a movie and a guy got shot and they laid him out on a pool table and I almost got sick and I had to get up and go to the bathroom to get some water for my face that I was a HSP. I’ve ridden a motorcycle for almost 30 years and I’ve always said it was my Angels keeping me safe, but in reality I can sense traffic. I know when someone is going to change lanes before they do and I’m always 99% right (sometimes they don’t move lanes). So HSP has worked in my favor for this. Now I quit riding as there are to many crazies on the road. Thank you for this acknowledgement that it took me almost a lifetime to figure out. 😁

[cheralyse]

Great video for me. Thank you. It's a first in shining a light on my value as a highly sensitive human.
I struggled for so long with sadness from cruel t.v. images, trying to fix abusive situations that I'd witness involving children, etc. and then, years later, haunted by the same memories with "could I have done more", " why wasn't I strong enough to fix that situation", etc. Now, my goal is to empty my brain of the events that hurt my soul and continue to play in my brain. This video is unique and so
appreciated in my path to fix my life. Thank you immensely. Oh! I must mention that meditation, specifically, TM, was a HUGE help to me, especially functioning in a demanding work situation. I highly recommend it to all HSP for internal regulation.

[levitatestudent]

It's not a flaw and not a curse and not a super power. Probably developed from hyperawareness, over vigalence but mixed with a elements of high emotional intellegance, empathy and caring for others etc.

What is important is knowing that not everyone will explore the whys and wherefores like you do? They don't want or choose to seek the insight you do. This is your way of coping not theirs. That can feel hard when trying help resolve conflict. Step out of the drama and take comfort for yourself in your insight, self knowing, processing and willingness to understand. But you can not control others just yourself.

I know my validation comes from helping and supporting others. I certainly appear extroverted but solitude helps me sometimes - to let the thoughts ebb and flow and not need to talk or explain.

As I get older I get better and better at coping with being me.
Not least because of you Dr bought your books but I still owe you... 😂❤

[Candyliz]

I can recall being aware of problem behavior and underlying attitudes (moods) in other people as a child. As I got into my teen years this awareness became overwhelming and I started to shut myself off from it.
I'm in my late 60s now and through CPTSD work, ACoA, and understanding my INFJ personality type I've let my "sensitivity" reawaken. I've never felt so *fully me.*
Boundaries are important - and that includes remembering that my solitude is very important for me.

[janeedgar-peterlin]

Thank you for a great explanation that really puts HSP into perspective.
Tip for all you HSPs out there - I’ve found journaling to be the most effective tool for processing thoughts and feelings and deciding what to do about them.
Looking forward to more of your insights Dr Fox!

[Aseeyah-vtkl]

I experience at least 97% percent of what you've thoroughly explained. I'm glad this popped up on my algorithm.

[AdityaYadav-sbur]

I am 21 y/o & I have been fortunate that it was revealed to me that i am a HSP before it was too late , i literally suffered a lot . i used to delay small tasks, my emotions were mixed up with everything whether that be conversations, mood variations of others or even carrying out tasks . i was deluded with my own beliefs, beliefs made under emotions not rationality .these beliefs limited my perceptions and capability . i started putting labels on me like introvert, bpd .or maybe because of my sexuality . these conflicts lead me eventually to self harassment and physical torture . i used to do fasting to fulfill the rage .

and i have observed myself my graph has lowered (once it high ) and now i understood that my 90% problems are due to this beliefs
created out of overwhelming state of mind . i dont want to oversimplify the problem but its very true that my beliefs made me weak
and now when i have understanding of the problem its easier to navigate

Thank you Dr.Fox for such amazing video it helped me to find more insights about me❤❤❤

[mindsetmotivation]

I get way too triggered by people's reactions towards me. Negative or positive, I feel like a weirdo, over thinking central

[GreenVeggie]

Very insightful, thank you! YouTube has been getting flooded with content about HSPs lately, but it really helps to hear about it from an expert who knows what he is talking about! Sadly, many people make videos on this topic and get some important facts wrong.

[krishely]

From a very young age I was aware of this trait but it was framed as a negative by others around me ‘chicken hearted’ was one if my labels as a child For many years now 56) i felt there was something wrong with me & ended up in dysfunctional relationships where i nearly lost myself (eg overwhelm & emotional dysregulation) But my rich inner life has helped me through Thank you im glad I came across this on you tube 🙏

[susie]

I will always be grateful to Dr. Aaron for bringing the HSP gene to my attention so that I can protect myself from much of what is harsh on my system. I am getting tired of hearing that we will thrive as HSPs just because we have wonderful traits and are good friends to others when I suffer terribly from the shrieking, screaming, crying, and other high-pitched sounds and vibrations from the environment around me. These high-pitched sounds and vibrations enter my brain and put my body and entire awareness into a mode of anxiety and distress that I cannot begin to describe in a few words here. No matter how wonderful of a person I may be due to my sensitivies, I am ANGRY and can become DEPRESSED when attacked by these environmental aspects. I go from being the nice, sensitive person to becoming angry at the lack of conscientiousness and consideration that allows parents to let kids scream and scream in a public area or to bounce a ball inside a concrete apartment building or to drag furniture around so that it sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I am not wonderful because I am an HSP (even though I try to protect myself as much as possible and am nice in most circumstances) but rather I am MEAN because I am an HSP (at least I feel mean).

[chilloften]

I am so extremely highly sensitive, so thank you. It tends to feel kind of like an evil.
I don’t watch much TV and rarely go to movies.
At theatre recent for Blue Angels and even the ads/commercials and trailers for upcoming movie releases we’re making me want to cry so hard. That whole time I was getting choked up but holding it back.
And I felt embarrassed. And also like I best stay away from there, since my exposure is so rare.

[ClaudiaPetersson]

I am listening to this while enjoying a coffee on my own in a coffee shop 😉.
Halve way through I felt a mixture of sadness and joy. I was aware of some of the facts before but I have never felt beeing seen so complet. Thank you very much for emphasizing the positive aspects of HSPs.

[TheGritherr]

For sure, I don't mind the drawbacks because of the gifts they come along with. thanks for seeing this. sensitivity is definitely a type of intelligence, sensitive kids are easier to condition and conditioning is learning.

[tylern.]

Excellent and extremely helpful breakdown of HSP that I discovered in myself only a few years ago. I was/am struggling to learn to harness this superpower and the problematic parts of it as well. Dr. Fox delivered a masterful concise explanation that will yield immediate results with helping me going forward. Thank you Dr. Fox!

[drb]

Thank you. I think HSP is really a form of giftedness.

[sallgal]

HSP here. How sad is it that the visuals you are giving of an HSP in distress are literally how I feel inside a lot of the time, lol! His hands on his face says it all. The accuracy. :D