How to Say No to an Addict or Alcoholic

How Do I Say No To My Addicted Child?

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[sammy]

All the arguments in the world couldn’t heal me! I had to go in patient 30 days, and to a sober house for 365 days! Recovered now for 15 years! It was miserable being an addict! The obsession has finally gone away! Thank God!

[sky]

"Honesty without compassion is brutal. Compassion without honesty is enabling."

[DeborahJeanMonkman]

My son is very sick 😢. Not a minute Not a single second do I have peace. Thank you for this 🙏❤️

[darlasmith]

I’m going to watch this everyday till it sticks in my head

[donaw]

I have been through hell for years and at 68 I’ve decided I want to enjoy my own life free and clear of chaos of my adult childrens’ addictions. They are not asking for help, but they don’t appear to want to fix their addiction either. I love all of them very much and it’s so hard to stand back and watch them destroy their lives. However, I do believe they have a choice to get help or not. It seems a lot of focus is what the parents can do to help their children. I love what you say Karen about putting our own oxygen mask on first… Finally.

[amandamasarik]

My 24 year old son has a drug addiction. Last summer he got clean and was great until a week ago. He relapsed. It totally changes his mental state. He sounds psychotic. He was living with us and got verbally abusive and made our home unpeaceful. A few days ago he left and is living on the streets. We see him and it breaks my heart. We have tried to get help for him and the police and courts won't or can't help because he is an adult. Telling him no and knowing he might sleep in a ditch or worse is torture for me.

[alexandrefrappier]

I find that saying no is easy, the hard part for me is remaining calm and respectful when people have no respect for my bonderies

[montanagal]

"You are dealing with an addiction that is not reasonable", LOVE THAT! "Compassion without honesty is enabling". WOW!

[jtsays]

it's the yelling and bullying and name-calling until he gets his way... that's so hard, and he won't move out.

[kathleenmorris]

Never bring your kids down.. Lift them up.. Show them love.. Pray to Jesus..
My son is set free..

[iamjane]

This was immensely helpful. I grew up with an alcoholic parent. My adult brother is an active alcoholic, currently being enabled by my parents. There is not a day that my life is not affected in some way by this. Thank you.

[stacymandarino]

My son is an addict with severe mental illness . I have been in this codependency hampster wheel. It’s heart wrenching the pain is so deep. I’ve been enabling him for 16 years . I run whenever he’s in crisis he has no food I bring food he needs money Bc he owes people and there going to hurt him. People I’ve kicked out of his apartment that shouldn’t be there. His apartment is not even livable for a human. I’ve advocated for him with drs etc . Called adult protective services they did nothing . I’m afraid of all the things if I don’t help him . He’s been hurt by people. Idk what to do anymore I’m literally physically ill I have all kinds of medical problems extreme anxiety depression. I think about him all the time . I’m a shell of myself to the point I feel like such a failure I have two other children and my attention is always on my addicted son . He actually just called5 times in a row and I didn’t answer. Now I’m crying Bc I’m thinking of all the horrible possibilities. He goes to the store to use there phone he doesn’t have a cell phone Bc he sells them or the people he lets in his apartment steal them . I need help to and I feel selfish for that .

[tommybootlegger]

Ma'am if I was in the same room as you, I would hug you. This was a big help for me today. Thank you, and God bless.

[lg]

This was so helpful for me. My daughter has been an alcoholic who seems to be addicted to abusive men too. She has lost her children and doesn’t seem to have a “rock bottom”. Thank you for letting me know I am doing the right thing now.

[youareIndenial]

I feel for the people with sick children.

[harpgal]

Just had to do the "no" to request for money a few days ago. There was no conversation, just plunged right into the request after not communicating with me for 9 months. I know I sounded harsh, but the "no" had to cut off son's lies and manipulations. Result - he promptly hung up without a word. That told me all I needed to know. Despite double digit rehab stays, he is not really in recovery.

[keepmeposted]

I realized I have to wait to respond with a family member who only texts me when they are drunk, high... It's not perfect, but responding right away just makes it way worse and digs a hole. This is helpful.

[lynncarlson]

My nephew did DIE of a heroine overdse but by God's Grace I have Peace and Thank The LORD that he is with Our LORD now. ❤ This is to encourage anyone who faced this loss just to Know that the Creator Loves them more than we do. THANK GOD

[evonne]

Exellent tutorial thank you!!
My problem has been enabling toxic behaviour, which is also an addiction. My ex was highly narcissistic, my friends just used me. I been dealing with it since childhood to the point I cant trust myself around people. I just give myself away. I ended up sick with a bunch of things at once, basically severe chronic fatigue, malaise, anhedonia. Its not worth it. Had to detox from people and heal 3 years now. Begin life again with strong boundaries and self care at the upmost. This video is really helping I have someone hounding me with an "emergency" right now that I already told I am too sick to help her right now. Now I know what to say.

[lisafinch]

Your talking my Mommy mind heart and soul..broken and making changes in MY LIFE DAILY..BREATH WORK. I've REACTED WRONG FOR 60YRS..lost my 31yr old Son to drug addiction..losing my 38yr old daughter to disease of addiction and my 40yr old daughter trying to understand..I'm destroyed. Y shame guilt..I myself suffered from addiction....no is a complete sentence..I love my 600 +++ days of Alcohol Free choices and living. The disease of addiction has destroyed my family unit but never my Love ..Today I've Changed..God knows my Journey Pain Joy..no more guilt shame sadness. It's ok to let go.