Covert Triangulation Manipulation in Relationships

#narcissism #codependency #lifecoach #micheleleenieves
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[hisgraceislove]

The scapegoat is the truth teller and often seen as a threat by the narc. The narc can be very jealous of the scapegoat. The narc usually has to shut the scapegoat down because they have been found out.

[johnpaul]

The pain comes when you suddenly realize they actually and purposely want to destroy you from the inside out For no good reason This leaves you only one choice If you still feel the need to live Move on Just like this beautiful coach did

[ormorphe]

Thank you 🙏

However, if someone is “nice” to me but abuses others and I choose the abusers company, I AM BETRAYING the abused one.

[yvonneeastman]

In my 30 year marriage, my spouse treated me as the scapegoat, and my daughter as the golden child. Now, several years after our divorce, I finally see clearly what he did to my daughters attitude towards me - we have been estranged for years. Narcs are pathetic souls.

[craig]

I feel like the narc is always trying to trianglate me with other people .

[alphaomegaambassador]

My narc wife was brainwashing and lying to our children that I was 100% the source of our marriage problems. After we got divorced and moved into 2 separate homes - the kids all noticed their mom's house was still chaotic, stressful, and full of conflict while my home was peaceful. It was day-vs-night. The kids now know that mom lied to them and has most of the problems while I'm the more stable one (I'm not perfect). A tale of two homes blows up the triangulation that can take place under one roof by the manipulative, lying narc.

[JessicaJLandi]

With healthy friends, if they mention something about their other friends or friendships, there's no weird feelings. When narcissists or other toxic people talk about their other friends they seem to try to stir up insecurities or jealousy or other weird or negative feelings. So helpful to finalize realize this!

[macoeur]

You've described what I've seen perfectly!...The only difference is that it was my older sister who was the one triangulating. Our mom was and is, sadly, very easily manipulated. She just sees it as her job to "love all of her children", which is not a bad thing in itself, but couple it with denial and the inabililty for her to see when SHE was being triangulated has been very difficult ...and my sister is "expertly" covert. It took me years to believe what I had been seeing and not recognizing for most of my life.

[msims]

Ok, my problem is, I am waking up to the fact that a few people in my family are triangulating, and the behavior of a few members of my family has me to the point of not wanting to be bothered with any of them. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy. My whole life, I have felt like something is “off” and like there is something other people know that I don’t know. It’s just really weird.

[EscapingTheMadness]

Covert abuse is so damaging as it becomes a YOUR voice in your head once that person is done.

[pippasmith]

Literally my ex, I could see it around me for the sake of others but sadly not in my own case.
The isolation they put upon you is unreel...

[erika]

My narc mom did this with my golden child older sister. They brutally physically abused me and gaslighted me about it. I nearly did not survive. Now I live across the Atlantic from them. But the memories and the pain will never fully dissipate. I'll always carry some part of that with me, no matter how much therapy I do. I have to be okay with that.

[izawaniek]

Focus on the relationships you have and let go the people who have decided to go behind your back, grieving is painful but it ends .

[ladloca]

My narcissist triangulated me with his own sister!! She was the little one (32years old) worth being protected. And I was treated like rubbish...

[soumyajoseph]

I've always wanted a sibling, but now I think being an only child is a blessing in disguise.

[phoenixrising]

I luv what Michelle says
Shifting your focus
Off of the narc
And onto yourself
What do YOU want?
If you want to dance 💃
dance
Do what makes you happy
Shine and the world shines with you
Dim and the world dims with you

[goldieh]

Most of the time focusing on my own life feels so dangerous, because it's what made me the target for contempt and triangulation growing up and with my ex. I think triangulation is often used to make you feel like an outsider to others, so that they can reel you in when they want control. When I started to enjoy myself in my family either my dad would critisize me or my mom would get silent. When I started to have fun at a party my ex would start pouting and we would have to leave. I was safer and less of a target if I stayed small and quiet.

[thevorpalone]

This is what i been dealing with for several years now. Such a deep vid.

[shiniemi]

I feel the best way to deal with covert triangulation is to stop providing the narcissist with any information about yourself and the third party. So when they give those "baited questions", don't fall for them and don't reveal too much of what's going on in your life. Even the smallest things tend to get twisted and thrown back in your face at some point later. This way you cut their gossip material real short, forcing them to find other people to bash about.

[Barbara_Banks_]

Your videos are so helpful. Thank you! I had a covert narcissist friend of 14 years. Along with her comments off and on, that belittled me, and acting as if she was being supportive... she made it sound like constructive criticism. She was friends with another person, whom she held in high regard. (We had never met). This video just made me understand, my ex-friend was triangulating us, and devaluing me at the same time. (Idk, was this she wanting me to be jealous? 🤷‍♀️, Idk it just made me feel looked down on by her ). Then the discard came, after 6 months of the devaluation stage... . I told her I was upset and wanted to talk out our differences. (not understanding she’s a covert narcissist)
I got a reply email from 2days later, after I expressed I was upset, and wanted to talk.
She replied, “After very deep reflection for the last two days, I’ve come to the conclusion I cannot give to you, the commitment that a friendship requires.”
😳 I was stunned. After 14 years of being a close friends, she now decides to tell me she cannot commit to being my friend?!?
Wow... that was an eye opener. I’m still sad about it, sometimes angry about it..and that was crazy making! I’m grieving the loss, of someone who I thought honestly cared about me, whom was very dear to me. I guess, in a weird way, she finally admitted she wasn’t ever my friend. I’m just thankful for knowing the truth. Thanks again, for these helpful videos.