Codependent Parents Expect Children To Meet Their Needs

[SG-nsrb]

“One day I’m going to resent you for making me responsible for your happiness” on god

[emmabrooker]

Oh boy 🥺 mine wouldn’t even let me go to bed when I was a tired child because she wanted someone to stay up to watch a movie with her. These people are so damaging.

[jewelknight]

My mother practically had a catchphrase- "careful so you don't get kidnapped, raped, and murdered" every time I left the house.

She meant well, but my family has anxious tendencies and is overly honest with each other. So from an early age having my mother's intense anxiety for my safety constantly communicated with me combined with my own anxieties shaped a lot of who I am today.

[leslieholland]

I parented my mother since a very early age. She almost required her children to support her rather than the other way around. We gave her advice and emotional comfort when she needed it. When we were upset, she would change the subject or tell us others have it worse, or say to look at lively it was outside. I was taught my feelings don’t matter b

[Mmmmkaaay]

I JUST put a sign on my fridge that says" I am not responsible for the emotions of others".
It's very helpful when I'm on the phone with family and friends. 🤣🙄

[bastetsrising]

That last sentence tho... is the main reason I am no longer in contact with my mom. I made my life so much about her I litterally had no social, emotional or relationship skills whatsoever. Ended up on the wrong career path, one abusive relationship after the next, etc. This kind of parenting is no joke. It really is that damaging.

[abby]

THIS!! I actually had this discussion with my mom the other day. Her response was, "They're just basic human desires! I don’t understand how you just don't want to help your mother like everyone else! Name one time I shamed you! *tears* I'm doing the best I can, you're all I have!" And she was being 100% fr.

[aaronjohn]

"How dare you grow up, How dare you not be the handyman to my house, How dare you join the Army, How dare you get a girlfriend, How dare you not pay me back for all I did for you." My response was "It's not my responsibility, phone book is full of referrals and it's my fucking life!" Had to go no contact to break that psychic emotional umbilical cord.

[Blindfold-Me]

My mom litterally told me I could go to a sleepover for the first time. Dropped me off at 3pm. By 5pm she was picking me up saying it was an emergency (it wasn’t). The girls never invited me
Back over because they assumed I texted my mom asking to go home. They stopped being friends with me after that. :/

[SleneBean]

My favorite part of these shorts is the look Nicole gives at the end 😂 Thanks for your work!!

[karami]

Yup, the guilt tripping is just horrible. I gave up trying to make any new friends and basically try to start my own life. Whenever I ‘tried’ to set boundaries between me and mom, she became so depressed and suic!cidal. She stopped taking her meds and said there was no reason for her to keep living if I was to someday leave and go my own way. I’m 36 now, have never dated and just feel miserable about my life. 😭

[car]

This is a perfect description of one of my Aunts. She didn’t let my cousin play or go to any of her classmates birthdays. She was kept isolated. If any friends from school called she would listen in. My mother would tell her where are you & your husband doing this. Yes my cousin grew up & has tons of childhood trauma.

[Dr.JudeAEMasonMD]

I had this exact scenario happen with my mother. The only difference was that this wasn’t kindergarten I was in medical school! It was group birthday dinner for one girlfriends. I chose to go protect my boundary and to dinner. She gave me the silent treatment, rebooked her flight home and got on the first things moving out of O’Hare airport. Unless you’ve been through something like this, it’s indescribable how this makes you feel.

[Lycancass]

This is my mother for sure, and now in my 30's I am very resentful about it...

[emilymcdaniel]

Oof…where do I begin. For me it was my mom saying she didn’t know the family and that she didn’t know if they were a child predator or not, but that she wasn’t willing to get to know them either. Then, when I’m a teen she pulled the “you want to leave me” card when I said I was excited to move out for college. Ugh…I’ve got some stuff man.

[marianabucio]

this was/is my mom. I was hardly ever allowed to go to things my peers invited me to until mid-high school when I communicated that my isolation was probably a contributing factor to my severe depression at the time. I do kind of resent her for it because as an adult, I have a hard time with socializing and I recognize that I wasn’t given the chance to get socialized like I deserved

[Mirin_the_Witch]

That's so relatable. I wasn't allowed another relationship except that with my mother until I was 18. To this day, I am scared of closeness in relationships because I'm afraid they'll cling to me like mom did, especially if they, after days of being ignored, start telling me I don't spend enough time with them - exactly like mom would.

I am often not picking up my phone when friends call or don't message back for weeks because I am too anxious they'll start expecting me to be more involved in their life than I am comfortable with.

I used to believe that my sole task in life and the only source of my value is to take care of my highly unstable mother and I don't want to go back to that.

[STOATWorshiper]

Oh could you do a skit on "the theripist child" like when a parent puts all their problems onto a child, Financial, familial, emotional or otherwise.

[carlyboutelle]

This is so spot on. Thank you for giving me this understanding. I never understood this horrible stomachache I would get on the rare occasions I went to a friend's house to play. My mother would get physically ill when I went to play also. To this day I struggle with developing friendship. And my parents still give me a stomachache.

[msl]

And now I need a video showing me what little Jenna is doing to help herself as an adult 🙃😘 asking for a friend (I’m the friend)