ELDERLY PARENTS FEEL ENTITLED? What might make a selfish aging parent tick and what to do about it.

Some of our parents feel entitled and are self centered, some might call them self-absorbed. Dealing with self-absorbed elderly parents can be exhausting. They can be demanding, bossy and sometimes seem to have no clue how their lack of gratitude for all that you do can take a toll on your heart and soul as a family caregiver. But aging and self centeredness are not normal, but what could be going on? In this video I'll take a look at what might be behind some elderly self entitlement and how to deal with an elderly parent who is demanding.

WATCH MY OTHER POPULAR VIDEOS

5 Strategies to counteract Anticipatory Grief

Aid & Attendance Benefit Process (My roller-coaster application process)

Talking to your parents about Assisted Living

GIVE THE PERFECT GIFT THIS YEAR! Great Gift Ideas for Older Parents

Paying for Senior Care (11 CREATIVE ways to fund care in 2019)

When should you stop being a caregiver?

#SeniorCare #FamilyCaregiver #ElderCare

[sofiaamirpoor]

If you’ve ever said things like “OMG, my parent is so self-centered, I could be dying in the floor and they’ll still ask me for a glass of water!”, or “she has no appreciation for all that I do for her”, then this video might shed a little light on what might be going on, and what you can do about it!

[gettingdialectic]

Just because you may understand their behavior, doesn't mean they should be allowed to continue being abusive. Draw the line, and if they continue, distance yourself. Nobody should submit to abuse... it's harmful to the soul.

[timewithoutconsequence]

Moving my mother in with me to take care of her was a terrible choice.

[awesomemom]

It is not reasonable for 80 year old parents to expect their 60 year old “children” to care for them. I can barely manage my own life. God knows what I’ll do when I get old and need help. I don’t want to burden my children. 😢

[hellbent]

it is a HUGE sacrifice to not live your life, and to give it up to someone who has lived their life entirely.

[melindamcclain]

My mom is exactly like this. Entitled, self absorbed, selfish, self centered and mean. But this is nothing new because she has been this way her whole life except it's 100 times worse now. My mom was very abusive to me as a child so I have a hard time now caring for her. She didn't take care of me but now she expects me to take care of her.

[rupertperiwinkle]

I was emotionally, verbally, mentally abused by both parents as a child and into adulthood. Now that they're old, I refuse to care for them. I can still barely care for myself with all the mental health issues they've created in me over the years. We dont ask to be born. We dont owe them our lives. Screw them. They can take care of themselves. My 90 yr old nan frustrates my mother to the point where she is just a burden now. I dont think its love. Its attachment, which ruins us in the end. We need to learn to de-attach from other humans, learn to let them go.

[damianburris]

Dealing with a very passive agressive grandparent and does the whole I'm not gonna be here much longer thing.
Honestly learning to not care is a gift

[rhianjaques]

It’s very important to know the difference between dementia and narcissism. I can’t recommend enough that you do some research on that, I’m speaking to the viewers of this channel. Narcissism in my opinion is far far worse because it is not recognized as a mental health crisis.

[morrowcosom]

There is this common belief that goes around of “this person is old, therefore you owe them favors.” I empathize that some older people have a more difficult time doing standard tasks, but this “you owe me something” mindset still pisses me off.

[PRAISEMYLORDJESUS]

What’s saddest is when you have other family members who are selfish and don’t want to do their part. They pretend they don’t know what’s needed but in reality, they just want to live their lives and not be saddled down with the elderly. No one wants to clean fenced to urine, no one wants to be stuck indoors when they had rather be outdoors. I also have a life to live. Absolute worse is I have my own hardship medically and must give my strength to a disabled adult that happens to be a parent. Please pray for me. I need strength.

[SomethingSomethingg]

This is so comforting to hear. Whenever I try to voice these issues I'm immediately shut down by people who either brush it off as, "Oh, your grandmother is a sweet old lady. Don't be so dramatic" or "She's your grandmother! You owe it to her". I hate that there's this taboo of talking about elderly people in a negative way. Not every old lady is Betty White. Some are Livia Sopranos. It's also difficult because I'm 28 and I've basically spent my entire adult life having to take care of her because nobody, until recently, was willing to help out. When will it be my turn to have my own life?

[mollymuzette]

"Old" abusers are some of the worst. It doesn't help that society guilt trips us for needing to set boundaries with them. Social services focus on on Elder Abuse. The reality is that many seniors abuse those who try to care for them.

[alliecat]

Thank you Sofia. It is very difficult to deal with an aging, controlling parent who has no consideration of my time or what I do for them!

[ithacacomments]

Explaining older adult behaviors away does not help with the stress and impact on my mental health. It is like getting mugged and trying not to take the cuts and bruises personally.
My mother is in the hospital again this week because she refuses to stay on a diet that will regulate her diabetes.
So she gets infections.
Has to be hospitalized.
Gets tons of attention when she is sick.
Gets well...returns to her care home.
And then the cycle starts all over again.

[somai_]

My mother lives with me and is constantly complaining about everything, slamming things. Wants my constant attention and gets mad when I'm reading a book on my device instead of watching the news with her. I'm anxious all the time. My life is not my own, and I'm middle aged now, so it won't get better.

[anushkajagger]

I came looking frustrated I’m happy to know that I’m not alone dealing with this mess 😭

[tamikagamble]

I care for my 68 year-old narcissistic father. It is pure HELL!!! I am to the point where I don't even want to be around him. All he does is run his mouth every day. He doesn't appreciate a damn thing that I do. We can't have a peaceful day. Very terrible. He has every medical issue that you can think of. He fails to realize that the way he acts has a huge impact on why he has all of these issues. He's just a lost cause at this point.

[havefaithtarot]

“But I’m not gonna be here much longer” I get that guilt trip all the time. My dad also traveled the world when I was a kid for business and he just retired and now he’s trying to guilt me into doing more than I’m willing to do right now.

[nicholemcclease]

My mom just got sick and I want to try to live my life. My mom always been self centered all my life.she just got sick and I'm taking full time care of her she knows I'm sbout to get married and I work 12 hour shifts at a e.r . She is only 67 I have to live with her take care of her 24 hours wash her clean up behind her . All she talks about is herself no matter how beat I am for work. It doesn't matter cause she wants it . She us not trying cause i do everything she dont have old timers or anything she just self centered i am the only one who takes care of her she makes me feel like if I die I finally be at peace .