Loving the Feelings Underneath Emotional Numbness

In healing dissociation, we start at the surface and work our way through all that comes up.

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Dr. David Maloney is a Psychologist and therapist. His has trained in a variety of techniques (person-centered, Gestalt, ACIM, psychodynamic) and works with people on a wide variety of issues. His main areas of expertise are in self-esteem, motivation, and relationships.

[browncoco]

Patience has been a big one for me. It took me close to 7 years to feel better. All the time between feels like a dream and like I just woke up.

[_ever.young_]

Emotional numbness does not come from just guilt. There are various emotions hidden under numbness. Suppression of emotions causes numbness. When they are suppressed for so long, you learn to live without emotion. Either a fear of being misunderstood, not heard, or not feeling cared for or loved.

[justgivemeanumber]

great message. to validate the hidden parts of you, rather than treating yourself as a collections of defects to be fixed.

[scotchvelo]

I’m not mildly irritated by my depression-triggered depersonalization, which has numbed me from feelings of joy and love. I’m enraged by it. I despise being blocked from these feelings. I hate it more than anything, and I’m also terrified of it.

[Liankirry]

You've got some of the best (if not the best) videos on youtube on numbness in my opinion. Great work David, thanks for sharing and please keep going! It's really helpful for a lot of people :)

[indigoblue]

100% accurately describes my experience.
Thank you for showing me how l can use these long term, hidden and avoided feelings, to become more emotionally healthy.
As deadening and isolated as the numbness can feel and safe to a certain extent, that disconnection is not working for me. I can't move into closer relationships with others or myself if l allow it to continue.
Thanks again for such high caliber videos. Best wishes to you! 😊

[nighttime]

you seem very geunine and knowledgable, please keep making content

[maralee]

Thank you for sharing your insights and techniques. I’ve been watching your videos for years now and I think I’ve grown a lot by implementing your techniques. I’m still a work in progress but I think what I’ve learned most is that I don’t have to keep trying to fix my self my biggest problem has always been thinking there was something wrong with me and fighting myself to fix it. It was super exhausting I’m at peace knowing life is as it should be the maladaptive behaviors I possess originated as a protective measure so instead of feeling bad about it I lean towards having compassion for myself and accepting the feelings as they come instead of constantly suppressing and fleeing from them.

[flyluke]

Thanks a lot David, I appreciate that a lot and will make sure I am starting with the irritation and the emotions at the surface then feeling down further into the deeper ones. Much appreciated

[craigdowling]

David I really have to thank you your videos are a relieving reminder for me at times when I'm overwhelmed. I've recently journalled about this and found I'm super hard on myself and not allowing myself to go slowly and be patient. Thank you.

[alexwolf]

But what do you do when you dont feel irritation at all but only feel empty, or impatience

[Piscesqueen]

I got emotionally numb but due to anti psychotic & anti depressants thats all now doctor diagnosed that i got fronttemporal dementia concussion 😢

[thephotoandthestory]

This video is helpful. You are good at generalizing and simplifying a subjective experience many of us have trouble describing. How does one describe something without reference to emotions? It's hard. You do a great job at that. I am a Catholic and a priest I see for confession who has a mental health background suggested, in addition to getting help, to embrace the feeling of not feeling. He asked me if it was frustrating and I said yes. He said, well, there is some feeling there, not an empty pit of total void. He suggested my brain me be playing the role of gatekeeper. This may have served our ancestors well but not modern man. I thought about it and it seems sensible. He said take it seriously but see it as an invitation to go inward the way physical pain indicates something needs attending. Your video dovetails a bit with that. You really have a gift for calmly explaining and generalizing what we all experience in different ways. Wish you the best in 2022.

[SCwirlify]

Hi, Doc. I am Emotionally numb. I have been trying to feel, lately, but it is difficult.
It seems like my subconscious is like: "Nah, bro. I got you! - You don't want this; trust me!"
Anyway.
Your insight has touched me, and it is incredibly amazing how you hit the nail on the head!
I wish you the best!

[weovkqf]

it feels like you know more about me than I do LOLL such a great video

[jaimematon]

But it makes me wonder if I want to feel again, it's too painful .. even through the numbness i still feel so hurt, how can I bare the pain

[oldskoolloner]

When I do somatic body ground exercises in to the body out of numbness. I didn't realise how exhausted I am most of the time! I feel like I am running on empty. Is this possible with Disacociation and all the built up emotions stored in the body sometimes I fall asleep because of this?

[yaminaboub-jolb]

I wonder how it feels like during healing ?

[shrinkelizabeth]

Is it possible for the process of attempting to process and heal from trauma itself to cause you to become numb and dissociated? The main thing I struggled with was just treatment-resistant anxiety and hypervigilance until a therapist suggested my anxiety stemmed from early life traumas/CPTSD. Then when I tried to lean into my feelings about various things that happened in my earlier life, I numbed out so badly it felt like I don't even know who I am or how I feel about anything anymore. It's making me miss my old anxious but alive self.

[marioncarbonell]

Is it normal to feel out of body when experiencing emotional numbness? I can’t feel my body, even when I experience physical pain, i feel like my thoughts aren’t mine, I feel like my memories aren’t mine either, I don’t feel real, I feel like I’m being controlled by someone else, it feels like I’ve died and I’m living in some weird dream, I don’t know if this makes sense but I don’t feel real, and it’s tormenting, is this another symptom of emotional numbness?? Or am I experiencing something different?