Why do workplace bullies do it?

How you and your workplace can address and prevent the damage done by any bullying.

[Jukebox]

I quit my job this past Saturday, after my boss yelled at me. He's done this from time to time over the past year. I work so hard to get to where I'm at, and now I'm probably going to lose everything. I will not be disrespected and treated like that. I'll do whatever I have to do to make it.

[TigerPaint]

Bullies are jealous people. They see someone in the job that is hard working, who could perhaps expose them. They may be jealous of their personality, or their looks. They may feel threatened and intimidated by the way they make them feel. Lots of reasons. You dont bully someone you dont care about. You bully someone who makes you feel a certain way, usually someone who makes you feel less important than them.

[ReturnOfTheJ.D.]

One of the signs is that their standard of behaviour for themselves is a hell of a lot lower than what they expect of you.

[keiths.]

Most companies dont care. Ive reported about my superior and all it did was get twisted around because "his methods work." So fours months into constant critique, constant observation, and constant neglect in a job i cant afford to quit.

[spirituallyawake]

I was mob bullied at work..it started with one narciss manager exhausting me with an overload of work..when I started saying no to him ..the staff got started on me calling me lazy and unproductive..I became a dumping ground to some of them..an object of scorn ..I ended up actually doing double the work and more all the while aware I didn't have the resources to walk away..but every one has a limit and I just didn't go back one day..almost 2 years later the memories still hurt me..save your sanity and walk away from these situations..sometimes it is the only way

[michaelredmond]

Corporate bullying is everywhere and is a cancer on society, people even commit suicide over it;
while laws protect the bullies, there is no protection for the victims of these wretched narcissists.

[gregoryforrest]

School bullies eventually graduate to the work place, once in the work place they like to play kiss up to bosses, then graduate to higher positions where they can really have fun with their mind games, destroying numerous colleague lives and careers, the problem all too ofter is work place bullies are very well practiced liars, poker faces, that have have a ton of experience conning numerous people through out their lives, unfazed by fear of speech or interviews so much easier for them to climb ladders to the position where they can have so much fun and get paid for it at the same time, destroying people, and costing organizations $ hundreds of thousands in lost productivity, as targets will use up sick days to recover from the bullies emotional mind games.

[PiCheZvara]

I am at the tail end of being bullied at my current work. Am 37, too old for this kind of shit, but it happened. It's been going on for 4 years now. I left a job to work with ex-colleagues. Good firm, good pay. I was always popular with girls, I am hard working, independent, level-headed, smart. I tend to get by with people well. It might sound like bragging, but I have a large EQ and a sense of other people's emotions, so I know exactly how to communicate with people.

Immediately, I started getting bullied by co-workers who probably saw me as competition, which were all three of my colleagues with whom I was sitting in the office. The leader was one colleague, another one occasionally chimed in with attacks and a third one usually just waited who had the upper hand and sided with that person. I never experienced this before, so I decided to stand my ground and not let them provoke any response. The attacks increased. One of our two bosses actually helped them with the bullying, a very arrogant person. Our company had two offices - one this and another larger one elsewhere. I knew this shit wouldn't happen at the other larger office as the bullies would discredit themselves in front of others. But alas, we sat separately and they always acted friendly during joint company meetings, teambuilding events and so on.

This lasted two years until the attacks got so severe, the leader bully crossed the line. And that's when I gained the upper hand as the bullies went so far, they managed to discredit themselves. They understood that and as I started gaining the upper hand, they immediately tried to get into my personal space and become "friends". In what turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life, I briefly accepted this friendship, not because I trusted them, but because I was angry at myself for something different in my personal life and I was self-loathing and thought "who am I to cast judgment on anyone else?". That allowed them to get into my personal space under the pretense of friendship and from then on, it got ridiculously weird. Our two offices coincidentally at that time merged and we sat together. The bullies put up this faux act of overt friendship and overt cordiality so that I wasn't able to even pass them by in the morning without stopping for a 5 minute "friendly" conversation. If I didn't, they immediately started to intrude into my personal space differently. Whenever I wanted to regain my distance from them, it was interpreted like I'm an unfriendly colleague, I'm weird, which it looked like to everyone else in the company. They started even copying my behavior and personality, because they understood it worked on people and basically sold the idea they're like me and I'm some weird, arrogant oddball. Everyone in the company bought this, select few people knew what was going on, but they sided with the bullies to get ahead and stomp me out as they saw my potential. Literally no one defended me in any real way.

Now, we're at a point that the bullies are acting like nice guys for two years straight, they copy my behavior for two years straight and they even grew incredibly proud of themselves by doing this as in their mind, this proves "they too can do what I did personality-wise". It's incredibly irritating, humiliating and I literally mentally pretty much broke down completely from all this stress. People see me as just weird now, even my family, even my friends, even though I tried explaining the situation - I don't get any support or sympathy. Literally no one gets this so I'm now broken mentally, overweight, batches of new grey hair, circles under eyes, tired, smoking...and of course I can't find a good job like this, so I have a hard time leaving.

Right now, I'm just a shell of my former self, my friends shunned me, my dad shunned me too, the bullies are respected and liked by everyone and seen as classy and cordial people, I'm seen as a silent resigned weirdo and colleagues who initially liked me all keep a distance from me. And there's absolutely no way to correct this, I can't win as any time I would bring the attention to this, I just come off desperate, histrionic, and they appear collected, calm. Right now, I'm simply becoming redundant and off-putting and everyone just wants me gone, zero empathy.

I think these 4 years legit irreparably destroyed my entire future and life, I will never shake this. The bullies won. And no one besides me cares and no one besides me knows. I am so ashamed I want to kill myself even.

[victoriapalferez-siri]

Reporting it? Always get worst because bullies retaliate or send others to bully you and make you seen as the problem.

[DennisPaul-cq]

The only way to defeat a bully is mob justice. Secretly record a video of the bully, and put the video up on YouTube. It will go viral, and then management will have to do something about them. They don't want the bad publicity.

[coreyanderson]

Why did you abuse me and why are you trying to make me fail? What did I do to you? If I am so incompetent then why do you have to work so hard to make sure I look it? What's wrong with YOU? (...Should be the questions, not "what am I doing wrong, now, to deserve inhumane and demoralizing treatment and possibly the loss of my financial stability?).

[nittibit]

These sociopathic brats are strangers that make it a part of their daily routine to sit around and taunt me. They're so insecure. I just ignore them for the most part. They won't bully me again hopefully when they get a good a whooping 🤫 people need to learn not to mess with someone who can't defend themselves because there's always a stronger person who cares. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[amarpalsahota]

I get bullies in the workplace making anoyed face's in front of me and when I am away thay laugh about me and I like wearing suits and hats and long leather jackets and long leather jackets and leather trench coats and when bullies laugh about me for wearing a leather cost and for being a good looking person behind my back and I get nervous about what thay think of me I should try to stick with the positive staff members.

[angelacasein]

The less cliquey the work environment the less likely people will get aggressive on each other at work

[kylephillip]

I swear alot of supervisors are bi polar and power trip

[Corina-dqmy]

How can a victim or targeted person prove they're being abused at work? The employee(s) doing it, tend to back each other up. If an investigation is launched, then, likely will be that no one will admit what is happening because they don't want to be next. And of course, the bully will likely blame "poor performance". But studies indicate that most targets of workplace bullying are not incompetent and are not poor performers. In fact they often are good performers or show signs of having the potential to be. So how on Earth can a target, or victim, get any help, really? I am certainly not suggesting it shouldn't be against the law. It absolutely NEEDS to be. But, be aware of the tricks bullying workers will pull.

[ms.bayokay]

Started work again and the girls in my team ignore me and don’t include me in team activities. I say good morning and they ignore me. I’m very sad because I’ve always had bad luck like this at jobs and can’t hold a job. I guess I’m weak and antisocial and have anxiety so it affects me very bad. I’m so sad and my mood is low. Why can’t everyone be niece? It’s free! It doesn’t cost anything to be niece. I know I am and I help anyone I can! It sucks a lot. I really just want to work hard and be liked. 😓😥😰

[sarrahwilson]

I worked at a place and had one bully for 5 years. It turned into 2 bullies on the last 2 years. I couldn't take it anymore. My 2nd restaraunt job the manager would sexually harrass me. I told but HR didn't do anything at either job. I feel like UPS should have been sued. My cousin worked there a month before I did and quit. She said it was just too bad. I don't get why Supervisors were the bullies.

[garyharris]

My last job, I ate one for breakfast. It was a soux chef. Some loud mouth emotional woman bully tried to shit stir and told him that I hadn't done this or that, so they was walking towards me (I was a kitchen porter). I heard him saying "right I'm gonna give him shit". By the time he got to me I gave him so much shit until he started crying. He left th place in the end.

[keiratheartistic]

As a college student, this happens more in college now. Professors these days will dislike you when you don't kiss their ass.