7 Signs Your PARENTS Are GASLIGHTING You

Gaslighting... we often hear the terms as it relates to our romantic relationship, but it's also very common in families or family households. Both of your parents may be gaslighters or perhaps it's just your mother or father, or maybe even a brother or sister. Gaslighting is a common way narcissists or narcissistic parents or family members try to control us. Have you ever said my parents are so controlling or try to control me or maybe you have a codependent or enmeshed relationship with your mother or father - this could be a form of gaslighting by your parents - mother or father. So if you find yourself thinking your parents are a narcissist or controlling or asking yourself are my parents gaslighting me? It may be them trying to gaslight you. Let's look at the 7 signs your parents are gaslighting you. Let me know your experience in the comments below!

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[nadeaosmand]

I live in a society where if your parents provide you a house to live in, food to eat and clothes to wear, you're all set. If you complain about emotional neglect, inner child wound and anything related to your emotions and mental health, I would be reprimanded as being ungrateful and disrespectful. Basically, if your physical needs are met, your parents have done all. Any emotional needs will be dismissed as being ungrateful.

[arthurpenfield]

Being emotionally abused is very exhausting and it sucks.

[shaho]

"Well, I don't remember saying that."
"I never said that."
"Are you sure that isn't just your perspective?"
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Your mom and I don't think it's as serious as you think it is."
"Don't be such a baby."

[amys]

7. That didn't happen
6. If it did, it wasn't my fault
5. Oh, you are just over sensitive
4. Here is something nice for you that is really for me
3. You can't trust others
2. You won't succeed
1. You are an extension of me

[BunnaySango]

Denying you are "really sick" when you say you are, or denying your pain ("youre ok, walk it off, you're fine, dont cry, its not that bad") is often a missed or inadvertent way parents could be gaslighting their children. If your child comes to you to say they are in pain, believe them, get curious, and consider that they may not feel well because there is something going on emotionally.

[CJ-sfmj]

This is literally my mum, when I finally managed to get my own home. One of her comments was ‘I wish you’d never been born’. Putting space between us was one of the best things I did for my mental health. I have a 22 year old daughter, I brought her up completely the opposite to my experience and we are very close, every time we say goodbye to each other we always say best friends ❤️ She’s a happy & confident woman and I’m so proud of her 💕

[coreyroberts]

I got gaslit in an unusual way as a teen. I was seventeen and had been playing drums for a few years, and had been in orchestra years leading up to that. My dad had a serious talk with me about how I wasn’t going to love playing music forever, even though it was the purest thing I’ve ever experienced and had literally saved my life. I tried to explain to him the concept of temporal malleability: that I could hone my craft as much as possible for its own sake, and whatever happens to support it, even it supporting itself, would be worth the feeling of freedom. He didn’t entertain that line of thought at all. Now I’m thirty and he’s passed, and I’ve had periods of doubt inexpressible by that conversation ever since. But I’m now a one man band trying to live the dream. I really don’t think god would put a dream so pure in a person for it not to be experienced. But what do I know.

[charthers]

If your life haven’t gone anywhere, chances are you’ve been gaslight most of your life

[vulgartrendkill]

I am going through this from my parent, even with me over 40. refuses to apologise, then making things worse

[siennaprice]

My stepmom was like this to me. She would use phrases like, “you’re overreacting. I’m not abusing you. I’m just disciplining you. I give you a wonderful house to stay in, I cook the food that’s on the table. You have it too good.” She would do and say other things to me. Maybe this was a form of gaslighting after all.

[jacquelineh]

My mother is borderline, my father a narcissist. This entrenched so much of my life.

[thsis]

Solidarity and love to those who have to live through this.

[georgepalmer]

I don't know if you would call this gaslighting, but my dad started hanging out with young boys when I was 15. My mom didn't raise an eyebrow about it, but I thought it was pretty strange. I always knew something was wrong with Dad. He was always way too affectionate. It felt weird. My older brother said he felt that too. I noticed my niece said to my dad, "You do that too much!" and my nephew said, "Cut it out!" one time. Dad just ignored what they said and kept on being so weirdly affectionate, but they clearly thought what dad was doing was abnormal. I sometimes wondered if my dad's behavior was noticed by mom. I was sexually molested by an eighteen year old boy when I was four, and I think that heightened my sensitivity to dad, but my brother was not molested, and he said Dad's behavior felt pretty weird to him. My dad eventually got caught. A seventeen year old boy reported him to the police. My mom was devastated by the news, but I wondered why she didn''t notice something was wrong when we were young. I think it really upset her when she found out that we weren't the perfect American family, but I could have told her that long before my dad got caught. My mom eventually divorced my dad. He came down with a disease with the same symptoms as Alzheimer's, but with a different underlying causal mechanism. My sister found him a good facility, and my dad stayed there until he died. I remember one Christmas we were at my sister's house, near where dad was being kept. I wanted to go see dad, but my sister said she couldn't handle seeing him again. I felt bad about that, because he was stuck in that facility alone. I eventually forgave my dad. He was overwhelmed by a drive he could not resist. He did his best. I think the drive that pedophiles have is extremely strong. My life has been pretty messed up. I joined the army fresh out of high school, much to my parents' dismay. This was after Vietnam, but right before Reagan came into office and put all that money into building up America's military forces. It was a different army back then. We had problems with heroin in Germany. Everyone drank alcoholically. I am a confirmed alcoholic myself. I've battled long and hard against booze, and this February I will have been sober for six years. I eventually got out with an honorable discharge, but I came close to getting out with a worse discharge. I voted for Ronald Reagan in 1980 solely for his military program. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't joined the military, but I'm pretty sure I would have messed up no matter what I did. Now I'm 64 years old and living in an assisted living center for the mentally ill. My life isn't bad. I have time to read and think, and I have some aspirations to be a writer. I've probably written about fifty short stories that I haven't sent in to be published yet. Writing gives me something to look forward too.

[asprr]

my mom literally threathened to kill me a couple times when I spilled tea on the couch, so of course I was upset about that. But *I* was too dramatic and *I* did something bad so I "deserved' it. She always blamed others for her emotions and almost never took responsibility for her actions. Now that I don't live with her anymore, she has become *too* sweet. Always buying me this and that and saying I am amazing and whatnot, but I know there is something behind it so it makes me uncomfortable. After giving me a gift she smirks and says "Aren't I such a good mom for you??" It's very toxic

[Katiestechandmore]

I relate to number five the most. That’s why I think I’d rather deal with stuff on my own than talk to my family and feel worse after.

[eyrebear]

I could count on my parents discounting my feelings so much that if I had to deliver news to them that I knew they would flip out about, I would pretend to be a little upset about it myself. Without fail they would tell me that I was overreacting and not freak out about it like they normally would.

[maree]

My mother-in-law does a lot of this and regularly tries to convince me and anyone who’ll listen that my family is angry with me/doesn’t like me. Fortunately after a lot of therapy i’m not so easily manipulated and know none of this is true, but it still hurts.

[breezon]

I think the main one that stuck out is that they know better. My dad always tells me, i’m just a stupid kid who doesn’t know anything and he knows more.

[MystearicaClaws]

So did someone spy on me my entire childhood or something? They got counselors to blame me for everything and it only compounded my depression....

[juliebrown]

this video hits so hard :'( my friend had died a few years ago, and i kept talking about it cause i was still upset about it, but my mom said, its like youre obsessed with it, and its not like you were best friends with her... :(