How to Deal with Rejection Sensitivity

This is my most requested episode ever. Thanks to the support of my research team, creative team, professional consultants, and the fabulous Caroline Maguire, it's finally done :) Enjoy!!!
(it fits great in a bullet journal, or fold it to stick in a wallet!)

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Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC founded and facilitates a comprehensive SEL training methodology (#ConnectionMatters) for adults, parents, clinicians and academic professionals on how to develop critical social, emotional and behavioral skills, in themselves and in others. Caroline’s book Why Will No One Play With Me? is a playbook that includes foolproof scripts on how to communicate – with anyone, in any situation – and how to ensure the message registers with the recipient – no small task! Through her private practice, publications, lectures and workshops, her mission is to vanquish the devastating effects of feeling different and misunderstood.

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WE WROTE A SONG!!
Get the “The Fish Song” on...


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Music for "How to Deal with Rejection Sensitivity:"
"The Show Must Be Go” “Life of Riley”
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

[cdagwyo]

Thank you for this, and all your other videos. They are very well laid out on topics that are important.
For everyone else, please take the help offered and put it to work. Review it, rewatch it and make it a priority. I know, RS practices, exercise, sleep habits, eating right, getting your work done, .... it is overwhelming. It’s also important. Maybe not everything is done every day but understanding how and why you react the way you do is a big part of maintaining good emotional health which will allow you to be part of healthy relationships throughout your life.
It’s taken me nearly 40 years, a bunch of fleeing, fighting, freezing and strain on my marriage to learn this.

[goatshenanigans]

It’s not even rejection sometimes. It’s just the feeling that someone is disappointed in you for whatever reason.

[happybubblemanfan]

The worst part about this is knowing you are unreasonably emotional but you cannot help it. I’ve broken down while thinking about how silly it is.

[sabrinasweeney]

For me, this takes the form of leaving a conversation with people and being afraid that I talked to much, said idiotic things without thinking, offended them etc. I then worry that they think I'm actually quite annoying. It happens A LOT, even with good friends.

[janetdepiazzi]

I never knew there was a name for the intense, visceral pain and anxiety I have always felt when I perceive I am being criticised or rejected. I have strong childhood memories of moments when I was spoken to harshly or felt criticised and crumpled inside. To know others feel this way too is comforting ❤️

[ThemysticsageLeeza]

Anyone else just find it comforting that you’re not alone with these life experiences or feelings 😔

[maarakailet]

Who else feels as if their entire life has been ruled by fear? I literally never finished a single PhD program application because as soon as I hit the "letters of recommendation" part, I assumed no one would give me one, and I gave up.

[Glenraven]

The "not asking for things" part is so real. Not asking to come along when friends are going somewhere. Not calling a friend because there's something you want to see/do in case they don't want to, or come along because they feel they have to even though they'd rather not. Not messaging friends because you think you're only bothering them. Not asking your parents if they might finance an exchange year or similar things because they feel unnecessary because they are for us, and we are unimportant. Not asking for help in general. I'm working on it but it still happens and I hate it.

[onedirection]

When I heard kids with adhd are usually less liked and have fewer reciprocal friends, i lost it. I genuinely feel like there’s such a deep part of me that was just healed :(

[sanne]

*_Not everything that feels like rejection, is rejection._*
*_Not everything that feels like rejection, is rejection._*
*_Not everything that feels like rejection, is rejection._*

[maddieek]

Anyone also feel like little things set us off, but then we are extremely calm about big things?

Edit: yall r cool thank you for responding and sharing your experiences haha ❤

Edit 2 Aug 4th 2021: Still reading comments as they come up glad I'm not alone!

Edit: Feb 16th 2023 still reading your stories guys! :)

[Bikeadelic]

The thing about "friends" bettraying you is so real. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly a seemingly nice person will completely drop you for something or someone that bennifits them.

[obiwannabe]

Idk if anyone else has this experience, but rejection sensitivity and people pleasing has gone hand-in-hand with me. I find it very difficult to say no to doing things I don't want to do bc I don't want others to feel rejected/disappointed

[davidhoran]

Add this to the list of things I didn’t know existed but clarified something I feel often.

[caseyf]

"Too sensitive" - my heart hurts just thinking of it. Thank you for making this.

[soundsoftranquility]

“Are you fighting back tears?”

Uhh…no. I’m literally bawling. Every video of yours I’ve watched so far has had an insane effect on me. I’m 43 and i every time you explain something about why i am the way i am…i go back through the last 10 years of my life and realize why I failed. I’ve never been diagnosed with adhd but i always had a suspicion. I just thought i was lazy. 😢

[briarbehr]

Stuff that we perceive as rejection, can be a conflict of needs. If I think of it that way, then I don’t feel bad because it’s no longer about me. Mind blown 🤯

[jameswatson]

"When I was a kid, I brought a book with me everywhere because...I already expected my peers not to include me." Yep, that pretty much sums up my life.

[gin]

not me at age 23 realizing that one perceived romantic rejection in high school has emotionally stunted me for the past 7 years

[JamesKelly]

Something that has really helped me is the idea that I'm not missing out if someone rejects me, but rather they're the one missing out on the awesome friend that I know I am.