The truth about rejection: how to handle getting turned down

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Because the universe lives closed, we are all going to experience far more rejection than acceptance across our lifespans. So the sooner we can disabuse ourselves of certain illusions concerning rejection, the better. In this episode, I discuss these illusions, which I call the three Ps, namely: rejection is painful, personal, and permanent. The goal is to eventually see rejection as a form of feedback that may contain information on how to move closer to our objectives.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
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#rejection #confidence #acceptance

[geterdone]

That's deep, "no" is the default response of the universe. You will hear no more than you will hear yes, is very powerful.

[chevy]

Rejection is painful, but it helps you to mature. Out of all rejections, we may experience in our life, romantic partner rejection would be the worst to experience.

[SamianHQuazi]

This doesn't really work if you're getting rejected by a coworker or an acquaintance whom you've known long enough for them to make more than a cursory judgment about you. Also, repeated rejections in and of itself do a number on your psyche. You can end up feeling completely defeated. Or you can end up settling and feeling resentful at your circumstances.

[allen]

I have somehow managed to understand myself over the past several months by incorporating meditation to my daily routine. It has helped me become more self-aware. Rejection doesn't phase me anymore. Thank you for this enlightening video Dr Teroban. I have understood that taking information from my surroundings helps better cope with my neurotic and intrusive thoughts. I just want to move on from negative and traumatic experiences which no longer need to have an effect on my mental wellbeing.

[THEDRAWINGSTUDIO]

I feel so much pain. I feel rejected by almost everybody.

[Nordic_Sky]

When a woman rejects you, just acknowledge you're not what she's looking for, for whatever reason. It's not personal. It's not that she doesn't like you. She just has a mental list of her "must haves" and your attributes are different. Not inferior, just different. No big deal. Move on. There will be someone else who will be much more open to being with you. Don't push on a string.

[RezPlank]

I rarely give thanks for online advice, but I needed help in dealing with being rejected by a woman a mere 5 mins ago at the grocery store. This vid helped. I'm an attractive, fit, intelligent middle age male, she less so, middle age female. I was just small talking with her, she was very receptive, asked if she'd like to exchange numbers...first time I've done this in 3 years now...and her response was "no, I'm good.". That stung because I have no idea why she'd say it like that. We continued to talk kindly for several mins, she did say something along the lines of "kudos for trying tho" that came across as genuine. I thanked her for at least being cordial.

I've realized my biggest gripe about it is that she really wasn't my type, and I can do better. So the ego hit thing.

But also makes me feel like "what's the point anymore" and "I really need to look into passport bros."

[FlavoredGenuine]

Being told no is part of life and I remember one of the young ladies telling me this when I was in college after I asked one of them out on a date.

Deep down she was actually helping me and that I shouldn’t hold a grudge over it.

[maria.c]

This is super helpful to support a shift in mindset around rejection and see it through a clear, true lens rather than this big, bad, painful thing. I really appreciate this, thank you!

[idlehourlinda]

An excellent strategy. Rejection can feel so personal but reframing it in this way will save so much needless suffering. Adolescents need to be taught this to navigate those often painful teen years; great content as always!

[Im_Anthonyy]

The Edison quote is very mind changing once u deeply understand it and interiorize it

[BeautiHacks]

Someone told me this a long time ago and it’s held true thus far… Rejection is Gods form of protection.

[malcolmtaylor]

Rejection is the most insightful education you can get, be it in any situation.

[joaquin]

I think the imagined rejection tends to be more painful than the actual rejection.

[Hedgehog]

This is probably the best way someone explained how to handle rejection. I like that. I got to remember those the 3 illusions of rejection.

[HerbertLandei]

I'm 48 years old, never in a relationship. Rejection does something with you over time. I don't look ugly, I have a well paid job, I'm funny and intelligent, and I still get rejected over and over again. I have self confidence, I have a positive attitude, but this total lack of success in this regard gets to me. When I have one of my very few dates, and it didn't work out, that's fine, I can deal with this. But when I get no response when writing to someone on a dating site, when I try to come up with something personal or funny or whatever, and I don't even get a "no thanks", and this happens almost always, that wears me down. And one thing it does is that I can't take compliments about my looks or personality anymore, unconsciously I don't believe the other person, this part of me is just scar tissue, and it is because of rejection. If someone just assumes I'm in a relationship, and e.g. asks if I have kids, that hurts more than it should, and it is because of rejection.

[joelcarrizales]

I am completely unconvinced on the first two P's. If Bob asks out Alice, and Alice says no, who is she rejecting? She is rejecting Bob. The only way you could convincingly argue that it is not a personal rejection of Bob is if Alice would say no to anyone that asked.

As for painful, the more you want the other person to say yes, the more painful it will be if they say no. Lack of pain indicates a lack of desire. You are correct that we will hear no a lot more than yes and we need to be prepared for it, but most people aren't stoic enough to ignore any rejection.

[ishmaelmboma]

this is by far the most clearest and shortest explanation that I have come across

[davidlawson]

This would be the best information for any young person.

[RavikantRai]

Dr. Orion Taraban saved the day again for me. Great video.