What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is common with ADHD and is a strong emotional reaction that can occur from any (real or perceived) criticism, rejection, discouragement, tease, etc. To the person experiencing the RSD, it can feel like a complete betrayal—a withdrawing of love or respect that causes deep pain. Often, this results in an explosive reaction, either externally via some sort of angry outburst, or internally as a feeling of instant and extreme depression.

00:00 What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
01:02 The Feeling We Get Is Real
02:15 Dr. William Dodson: The Pain from RSD
02:30 The Effects of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
04:10 Strategy: Label It As Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
05:00 Strategy: Create Space
06:31 Strategy: Remember the Past Relationship
07:06 Strategy: Reduce Stress

RESOURCES:

📝 What You Need To Know About Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Black Girl, Lost Keys)

📝 How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (ADDitude Magazine)

📝 What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? (Psychology Today)

📺 How to Deal with Rejection Sensitivity (How To ADHD)

[jackhume]

I would sometimes get episodes where I wouldn't believe any of my relationships were real. That everyone was pretending to be nice to me and that no one actually wanted to be friends with me. It would go on for days and basically it was RSD teaming up with my depression and anxiety to become a nasty combo. I'm so glad I got on the meds I'm on now.

[hollydueck]

I have NEVER been able to have a confrontational conversation without crying, I’ve been shamed so much for how I react in tense situations my whole life and in my twenties I’m finally getting diagnosed with ADHD. Thank you for this, for the first time I feel like I’m not crazy anymore

[colleendeis]

That instant "wave" of dread that washes over your whole body and the physical pain and pressure in the chest. I think of the phrases "heavy heart" or "my heart sank to my stomach". In that moment, the situation feels UNBEARABLE. Expecially when it concerns someone I admire or value their acceptance and approval. Letting people down, being a disappointment, loosing trust or respect - those are my triggers.

[melbapeach]

I feel like I’ll always claim to be “happily single” because I literally cannot face the RSD. It’s bad enough with friends and family.

[rhi]

i think the most compelling thing i read about RSD is that it's a specific kind of "complex" (repeated) trauma. a book i read called "complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving" coined the term "emotional flashback" in the specific context of childhood trauma, and that people who suffer abuse and neglect frequently "go back" to the emotional states they experienced in childhood (helpless, furious, terrified, heartbroken). i do not know a person with ADHD who does not have a litany of insults that they have been called by the people who were supposed to care for them most . you basically grow up being gaslit to think you are lazy, inconsiderate, and incompetent by your superiors (family, teachers, bosses, partners ...) . any reminder of those times where you have been criticized would then lead to an "emotional flashback" where the pain of what you grew up with is brought up over and over . this leads to behaviors like: fawning (people pleasing), freezing (task paralysis, disassociation, memory pproblems), fleeing (avoidance), and finally fighting (bursts of anger), which are all parts of the RSD experience . please note that i am not a therapist, and cptsd is also "new" in terms of research, but i found it compelling when i read about it

[wurdnurd]

When I was young, like 8 years old young, an older friend (who I looked up to enormously) told me that no one like when a person invites themselves to things. To this day (35 years later), I struggle to get outside my bubble with people, partly because that "advice" cut so deep and runs through my head on a loop. The rejection is real, yall.

[camilla]

Mix RSD up with abandonment issues and you got probably the biggest pain I've ever felt in relationships. Had a huge breakdown last night, cause I was so convinced that some friends I deeply love find me annoying, and I still have that feeling. It's literally unbearable

[peachy_lili]

RSD is my biggest struggle other than time blindness. imagine how I felt today when I saw a tweet from someone I admire, saying ADHD is 'overdiagnosed' and therefore not real. the irony that I felt RSD over that is not lost on me.

I am done being told I'm making it up. I've been coping with this for almost 40 years. it is not in my head. I have broken down crying in a recording booth because a new voice director used a mocking tone of voice with me for no reason. I've been getting called 'too sensitive' my entire life and there is little that will make a person feel more lonely than being gaslit by the entire world that you're just making it up for attention.

nobody wants to be 'the girl who cries at the drop of a hat'. it ain't cute, it ain't fun, it doesn't endear people to you. yet here I am. I'm realizing I've been in isolation for so long because I can't stand feeling RSD.. it hurts me on an almost physical level. people *genuinely like me* and yet I can't be around them for fear I'll feel my gut drop and reel from emotional pain over the slightest little comment. genuinely struggling to find a psych my insurance will cover who will help me through with some CBT.

[JoshuaMNeff]

The first time I read about RSD, it was like sunlight bursting through dark clouds and a big light bulb going on over my head. You're right, identifying it helps, but it doesn't make the feelings go away. I usually do my best to create space to not engage, to cool down and look at the situation and see if maybe it's not as bad as it initially felt. But before knowing as much about emotional dysregulation and RSD, I did a lot of damage to relationships by lashing out or completely shutting down over perceived rejection. One of my least favorite aspects of ADHD.

[LucasRobert-nsnj]

I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.

[TheMegafirefish]

For those with ADHD, the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" doesn't really apply. Instead, it often leads to the development of unhealthy coping mechanisms.

[wolfgills]

RSD mixing with depression and anxiety is one of the most brutal things in my experience. The tiny set off from RSD, propelled by the anxious overthinking, and then thrown into the deep end of depression and su1c1dial ideation. The worst part is when you realize it genuinely was something that everyone forgot about, yet you're mulling it over and over again, even into the next week, even month. I had an episode of it yesterday and I'm still reeling. Thinking about what happened makes my heart race, I feel cold all over, and I genuinely get nauseous. I really hope other people don't have to deal with it as intensely as I do, but if anyone reading this can relate, please remember that you're not alone. <3

[abj]

For me this manifests as avoidance. I can be very shy when I don’t know how somebody else will respond, and this makes it difficult to form deep bonds with people, or make work related connections.

[jennacat]

I give up trying to make friends. My ADHD & RSD keeps me behind a window looking at normal people having a normal life but that’s never going to happen for me.

[joannadebella]

I am really struggling with my ADHD lately. My anxiety, or so I thought, has been out of control. I feel things so deeply. I have just started learning about RSD and this is something I truly struggle with. Knowing the label doesn't in itself make it better, but now I have a starting point on how to work on these issues and learn strategies. So many things you spoke about in this video resonate with me so strongly. Thank you so much for

[laurynasidla]

I don't understand why you have so little amount of subs. You definitely explain everything very well, even better than some other really popular adhd youtubers! Keep it up, please!

[heavenlycute]

I am so incredibly happy that I've found out about RSD - I have gone through my entire life trying to please everyone, even if these are people I don't even like (I was diagnosed with ADHD this year at age 43)! Whenever I have my friends over, the moment they leave I am worrying about things I might have said or done that they didn't like 🙁

[LucySplendid]

This is magnified if real emotional neglect was experienced in childhood. The internalising of pain leads to burnouts and even lower self esteem.

[KuroNekoXIII]

I recently was diagnosed with ADHD, and because our phones listen to us the term RSD has appeared in my recommended anything. Let me tell you that RSD is the story of my life. I went to be evaluated because I realized this past year, when my room mates got a kitten, I was deeply offended and hurt that the kitten seemed to like me less out of the 3 of us. She still lets me pet her, and is friendly towards me. I had a similar issue with a dog I raised years back too. And I have had other events in my life that have felt like someone stabbed me in my heart because of being rejected/betrayed. And if someone doesn't text me back within a normal time-frame for them, I am having full blown anxiety-depression fits. Learning about RSD is really opening my eyes to a lot of my behavior all my life.

[Distt_Edits]

I have been diagnosed with BPD because of this feeling, I never felt like that diagnosis fit. I really feel like most of my symptoms of my diagnosis, depression, anxiety and bpd could come down to ADHD