3 Ways to Deal With Rejection in Dating | Matthew Hussey

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When it comes to dating, does the fear of rejection stop you from being yourself?

Whether it’s approaching someone at a coffee shop, reaching out first on an app, or allowing yourself to “let go” whilst on a date, this fear is the very thing that will have you looking back wistfully and saying “What if?” years from now rather than saying “Why not?” in the moment.

Of course, in a world where people are constantly trying to curate and filter their lives, it’s no wonder most of us find it scary to try something where validation isn’t guaranteed.

And while it might not be possible to feel completely immune to the fear of rejection, there are things you can do to move beyond that paralyzing anxiety.

In today’s video, I’m going to give you three secrets to changing your relationship with rejection . . .

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[JemIsMyName-o]

Got rejected today and I’m here because I needed this advice. I feel proud that I behaved courageously.

[IrisOliveira-tgbv]

#1: Appreciate that rejection is complex
#2: root your value in your character
#3: go slow to go fast

[themanftheworld]

Everytime you get rejected your self esteem diminishes.

[nadalynm.]

When someone rejects me, it makes THEM MY WRONG PERSON! It doesn’t make ME THEIR wrong person, it makes THEM MY WRONG PERSON!

[devvratyadav]

Just got rejected. Wasn't able to think straight. Glad I saw this video rather than trying to escape the uneasiness.

[sunitaprasad]

Just stop searching for someone or behave a certain way to impress someone....the right one will get attracted to you for who you are

[vincal.]

You know what ? So many people don’t confess their feelings to their crushes because of their fear. But us, we were brave enough to put ourselves out there and told them. And this guys, THIS, we can be so proud of it. We can be SO proud of us.

[jenniferoneill]

Thank you Matthew this is very helpful. Currently heartbroken over a man who led me on for month's acting interested. When I asked him out he rejected me but for some reason still acts interested..unfortunately I completely invested myself in the dream of what I thought was going to happen..💔 now trying to get over this whole nightmare.

[lb]

Just got rejected today and I needed this. 😭

I am going to listen to this several times most likely.

I know he is right. I need to work on myself.

[RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

Heard someone say once 'if someone isn't into you it's ok....cos someone else will find you irresistible'

[jdcpnkp]

The second point makes so much sense. I've always wondered why he rejected me, but never gave myself the credit for my reaction.
I've accepted it, even though I didn't like it, I told him it was okay, I've moved on with my life. Yes, in the back of my head I always thought about him. But when he came back after months I politely declined because I respected myself too much.
I guess even though I don't accept my own feelings here, all of my actions were the right thing to do. I should be more proud of that.

[BoneSpree]

This came like thunder from heaven. Few hours ago I received rejection text after two most amazing dates I have ever had. It felt like she is the one. I know just two dates, but on the first date we spent whole day together and it was something.. The energy.. the connection.. The sparks.. I feel like I'm gutted.. Somehow empty.. Sorry for my english.. But I needed it.. Thank you Matthew

[tallspicy]

Major red flag on online dating profile: looking for amazing chemistry. By definition, they almost never are looking for that subtle and you get rejected as soon as their version of that diminishes, which happens by definition

[tomdrummy]

I think most rejection is based on a persons past experiences with other people…….therefore they become “experts” on people without realizing how little they know about the present person. They reject a new person based on what other people did to them.

[starzintheskyz]

I've been rejected my whole life. By friends, family, lovers. I've never been good enough for anyone. No matter how much I believe I am good enough, someone always ends up making me feel less than. Esp with romantic relationships tho. I'm starting to believe I'm cursed with the male gender. I've never had a solid male friend, and men reject me like sardines on icecream. I often wonder if I'm getting my karma back from something horrible I've done in my past life that makes me not deserve love in this one. Idk. Idk what else to think at this point in my life. I'm 40. I'm getting older. And it's harder to find any kind of love as you get older.

[devonjose]

I definitely needed to hear this. I’ve been needlessly cruel to myself as a result of repeated rejection and this helped me realize that my sense of value was misplaced. Thank you.

[buttermuffin]

Becoming a person of value and then finding someone who uniquely values what you have to offer. Thank you, sometimes feel frustrated that I haven’t found someone yet. Had a 17 year marriage with someone who didn’t love me but stayed for the kids. Sometimes feel like my life will pass by without ever being loved but I’m working on myself through counselling and with a personal trainer. In the past yr, have lost 45 pds, gained a new good job, become very active, and have found a nice little home for me and my kids. This helped me to just calm down and remember, I want someone who values me, not just anyone.And I can slow down and wait.

[Babesinthewood]

This is what I’ve concluded too in my life, that doing something that makes us proud and hopeful meanwhile making some kind of progress, is key to self esteem and feeling joyful or at least peaceful. I think I sprung to this conclusion coming from a place of deep depression. This is how you come alive again.

[CC]

I wish someone had had this talk with my 14-15 year old self. Hearing it decades later after all the damage has been done makes it all feel insurmountable. But I still appreciate this video and words very much!

[alexjonesmom]

I got rejected by a girl and my sister brought it up everyday for two years straight. I’m heading off to uni in a month and am gonna start slowly build back my confidence.