When your adult child becomes the narc

When your kid becomes the narc: "I have a long history with narcissists. My mother, sister and ex husband are classic narcissists. I am the codependent over caring opposite and am working hard to take care of myself. It is devastating to admit but I think my adult son is a narcissist. While I have finally been able to extricate the other toxic people in my life how do I manage to have a healthy relationship with my son and maintain healthy boundaries when he is always trying to pull me in?"

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NOTE: Meredith Miller is not a therapist or counselor. She is a holistic integration coach, helping you to self-heal and transform your life after narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Meredith teaches the mindsets and tactical skills to help with recovery. She works with a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness that is a valuable complement to traditional psychotherapy. Meredith recommends that you also seek out a licensed therapist who has experience with narcissistic abuse and relational trauma in order to help you with the complex-PTSD symptoms. Thank you for taking responsibility for yourself!

[immaggiethesenilegoldenret]

My 28 year old son is a narcissist, big time. He cusses me out, belittles me, and won't let me forget my previous mistakes. Thank GOD he lives out in Washington state and I'm in Massachusetts! I wish to have no more contact with him; he's taken up where my ex husband has left off. Sounds cruel to say about my own son, but I'm done with him. I'll be sixty in a couple of years; it's high time I have to take care of my own needs FIRST. Life is short. Sorry, Patrick.

[tinacarlson]

This has to be the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. It breaks my heart, I feel like I should be in a institution. Its heartbreaking.

[creole]

I’m finally setting boundaries with my 24 year old son and I have been called every foul name in the book. Just for saying NO to abuse. I love him and it’s so hard, but I have to stay strong

[ksize]

I am amazed at how many are dealing with grown children issues, mostly from parental alienation by a covert narc. They damage all.They don't change.

[perdidoatlantic]

Answer: you cannot have a healthy relationship with a narc.

[karenmoore]

Thank you for this video. Our son is 41. No hope. He has kicked our front door and surround in, set us up at his graduation, embarassed us, so we left. We paid for years of college, degree, after degree, through Doctorate degree. We have been no contact for over a year, since the door issue. He also was abusive as in screaming pushing me up against the wall, trying to force me into saying what he wanted me to say. Husband rescued me. The child was given the best of everything. Best schools, cars, clothes. He turned into a monster instead of being an appreciate child. We feel responsible since we gave him so much. This is very difficult. He has gone to other members of both sides of the family, mine and my husband's. I shutter to think what he has told, but we are to the point that we don't care. We moved to a new home, which he will find eventually. Should we think of taking out a restraining order? I could write a book on this child. We were totally ignorant about this condition, or perhaps we thought he would eventually grow up, and act like an adult who cares about his family. Not going to happen. God bless all the other parents that are going through this same thing.

[SonjaElizabethTeal]

I feel so not alone anymore. I could care less about my daughter. She s burned her bridges with me but my Grandchildren, I weep for them!!!

[yahkemaj]

Narcissist children also can come from two normal parents with out narcissism or narcissistic personalities

[lovemagicandroad]

Yes my oldest son following his dad’s abusive nature. He’s manipulative and friendly when he wants something, otherwise he’s stone cold and uncaring.

[jenniferconroy]

We need more information on this subject, this is a big issue, many of us are suffering again at the hands of our own CHILDREN....

[azamudio]

Finally!..a video for parents. ..it's a very sad and painful decision I had to make

[karencox]

Thank you for this. ..my son is 47and in the last few years it is evident he is now overtly aggressive to me and simple boundaries! We have broken completely and it remains that way. ..no contact is choosing me now! I have suffered ALL my 70 yrs at the hand of this one and that one but now alone is good and peace is a wonderful thing! I didn't make them that way and I can't fix them!

[ginnycollins]

Thank you. Bottom line: set a boundary​ of courtesy and never chase an adult child to be included in each other's life. Time for Mom to make new friends and come to grips that I may now be a family of one.

[realistnopc]

my old son is a narcissist and has now cut me out of his life, after smearing me to others and leaving me with a huge debt. it's like my son has disappeared and he's become a different person...has become my ex-husband. there is a hole in my heart.

[laurafreeman]

I have 2 daughters, one is a covert narcissist and the other is an overt narcissist. Both have called me crazy when I set boundaries! I haven't had contact with my oldest daughter for over a year and the other daughter ghosts me every time I enforce boundaries. It is emotionally devastating after raising them to the best of my ability and I frequently question my parenting skills. My job is finished however my heart longs for a healthy relationship with them.

[lizbethkuna]

Thank you for this YouTube! I was married to a covert narcissist and, sadly, two of my three adult children have definite narcissistic traits. Other parents--let's encourage each other!

[shortsign]

I have decided to go no contact with my 27 year old, betrayed me gaslighted me lied about me talks about me like a dog, enough is enough. The hardest part is acknowledging I will never see my grandkids and how many times she has betrayed me.

[lolisierra]

Let go, and let God. Bless them and say goodbye!
I had enough! I'm done!

[arcticfox]

One problem I had with my narcissistic daughters was I always thought of them as children! What fun we had! How I loved them! When they were about 30 all this changed. I asked myself why. They became cruel. "Oh Mother!..(add insult here). I even blamed myself. Finally I told one I didn't want to see her for a year! "Fine" she said. But I had begun to notice she was that way with her family too. Long story short, I make every excise NOT to see them. I will not be able to enjoy my Grandkids. But I have to have my peace & sanity. I really feel for ppl on here, like me, who don't deserve what they are getting from narcissistic older children.

[cynthiayakushev]

I was in that same exact place. My mother, my sister, my husband and only child, aged 36; ALL narcs. I had to sell my house, move out of town, change my phone number.
I’ve been no contact for 66 days. It’s a lifelong journey to recover. I cannot go soft either, and down the line reconnect with them. NEVER! This poison lingers and IS powerful!
Don’t let your own mind weaken you. STAY AWAY!!!