Learning Your New Role as the Parent of an Adult Child - Jim Burns

Once your child becomes an adult, your relationship will inevitably change. In this dynamic presentation, Dr. Jim Burns helps parents of adult children see how they can help, or hurt, this evolving relationship. As a parent transitions to the role of a coach, they can interact with their adult child in ways that minimize conflict and maximize godly influence.

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[awake]

I have a friend who has lost two out of three daughters in their 30’s to cancer. I value any time my two boys have for me now that they are adults. One lives 12 hrs away and has four children of his own. He raises them differently than he was raised. That’s his right. It’s easier for me to visit him the vice versa. I accept that. I will do anything in my power to make their life easier while I’m still breathing. My son has told me over and over he appreciates everything I offer to do for them. My youngest son lives with me and my husband. Over the years he has gradually taken on the majority of all our responsibilities and maintenance around our home. He has left several times throughout the years but has always come home when he wanted to, and he was always welcomed back. He’s a tremendous help and i feel very fortunate. Life is short folks. There’s no “one size fits all”. We don’t get a “do over”. Love each other as individuals and enjoy every minute you have. You don’t know when it will be all over.

[orborn]

I don’t want anything from my three adult children, all in their thirties. I don’t need them to need me. I want them to want me just every so often. They don’t have to call me daily, weekly or monthly. A three minute call just to say hello, hope things are going well, miss you, etc., would be great. Unfortunately, we never hear from them. If we want to see them and the grandkids, we have to make the financial and time commitment to go to them. Unfortunately, this one sidedness often falls flat and feels empty because their lack of effort of any kind in the relationship is not reciprocal. They are not living Christian lives although having been raised in a Christian home. I believe this is the great divide. We now have no shared values upon which to continue to build a firm foundation. The hard reality is that people make time for those things and people that matter to them…period

[susanangelilli]

It is difficult to parent an adult child that is constantly making bad decisions and expecting help from you. Enabling vs. Helping is an important lesson to learn as a parent of adult children.

[ninam.]

I’ll listen to this over and over until I get it right! Thank you I really need this.🙏🏾🙏🏾I’m 62 with 5 grown kids🤯

[barbaragaona]

Excellent advice. I have a 40 year old son that "launched" when he went to college. Married with two children. Done everything on their own. They love Jesus. I always likened it to a mother bird letting her baby fly away on their own. God has richly blessed them and thry know it. 🙏 ♥

[lindalee]

My youngest in her thirties and addicted to Fentanyl. It’s a nightmare. She weighs about 60 lbs. homeless living in her boyfriend’s mom shed in back yard. My granddaughter has moved to another town with her dad’s family. The more I pray the worst the situation becomes. Now she’s stealing from me and I consider her very dangerous. She tricks me out of money, it goes on and on. She even checked herself out of hospital after being treated for sepsis against physician advice. Law enforcement says nothing they can do because she’s an adult. Please pray for her and also for me as I’m elderly with lots of health problems. I did the best I could raising her as a single mom. She had lots of opportunities to excel in life but chose this road.

[KarenHarcourt]

Good message! Been praying for yrs for my situation. Glad I'm not alone. Thank you for your message.

[RD]

This was very uplifting & helpful but parents have their breaking points. Idk how much I can give when I am on empty. I have been hurt by their actions & no acknowledgement no appreciation nothing. Struggling to keep afloat. That’s tough. Thank you.

[julissacastanon]

This was a good message 😢. I have 4 adult children still living at home. I’m worried about their failure to do real life. And their walk with Jesus. “This my family it will is little and broken but it’s still good!”

[audreylim]

Thanks for the powerful messages.. indeed it is a good reminders for ourselves to land our helicopter and focus on building a legacy 😊 of course, as parents, we need to keep them in constant prayers that God will grant them wisdom, stature and favour from men and God🙏

[FaithMuthoniWagura]

Absolutely great advice. It takes time to fully release our children but it is inevitable, no doubt.

[Goldiloxandthebears]

Thank you for this. I have a good relationship with my 3 adult sons and I want to keep that going! I am eager to be a grandparent and fully jump into that role as much as my kids allow. I ordered the book! Thanks again!

[surindercheema]

Thank you -appreciate you sharing your experiences

[jerridavis]

Wise words from my brother, best friend and neighbor! Excellent video thank you so much! Enjoyed from Texas!

[ezebuneayoyemi]

This message is so instructive and liberating! Thank you 🌹

[debbiearnold]

How I love my three adult child and two grandchildren. ❤

[JeanC-jtqs]

This is very good and timely advice! I have just shared it with some of my friends. I am now 71 years old, but it's never too late to learn!

[Xhar]

Thank you, this is excellent advice, I really needed to hear this. I will take it with me

[sharonlarson]

If my kids need me now, I would feel I did a poor job raising them. At least when I am gone, I know they can take care of themselves. I have four, now two men and two women; I keep having to tell myself they live in a new time frame and they know more about it than I; who am I to tell them how to manage things? They seldom call - unless they need an honest opinion, they know I will tell them the truth.

[yvettebennett]

This was profound. Thank you for this.