6 Signs A Dismissive Avoidant Is Interested In You! | Relationships & Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

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Advanced Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style Course: Your Guide to Thrive in the 6 Stages of a Relationship

In this video, we talk about 6 signs to tell if a dismissive avoidant is romantically invested in the relationship. We'll look at behaviors that are hard for the dismissive avoidant but that they still engage in when they are prioritizing their relationship. Hopefully, this video will give you a sense of where your relationship stands with the dismissive avoidant.

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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel and thank you for stopping by!

This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.

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#DismissiveAvoidant #Relationships #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #Love #Dating #Romance #AttachmentStyles

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[Demiyah]

1. Consistent initiative of communication & Consistent initiative to see somebody
2. Prioritizing you
3. Willing to work through differences. If you express a need in a healthy way, they will want to work with you through that.
4. Willing to meet your family & friends, introducing you to their family & friends
5. If they are willing to spend extended periods of time with you, like going on a trip or spending an entire weekend together.

Thank you, Thais! I have been with my DA for 4, 5 years now. In the first 6 months of dating, he checked all of these boxes. It was also my DA who took initiative about living together. It went south for a bit once we moved in, but I feel we are managing it better now as I have healed to SA, and he is showing up more FA now actually.

[LiliaSGeorge]

My ex did all these things but I learned that I need a lot more transparency to feel connected in a rela. I now know he hid things out of shame. It makes me feel so sad for him to feel such shame about his existence. Luckily I also recognize that it's not my responsibility to heal him. There will be someone else out there who is able to open up to me with the same depth I provide & value what I bring to the table.

[amymjay]

My DA partner after a few weeks maybe a month, text me every morning to say hello! That consistency made me feel so safe as an AA. I would see them 3 days a week consistently and it was really great. We now live together and have been together 2.5 years.

[MMJ-odsh]

Am sure The guy I was seeing was def a DA. He would only see me once a week, in 4 months hadn’t even slept with me . Would text me every morning & maybe once more in the evening. Would never actually phone me . Spent every Saturday night with his friends . Also was a work aholic. He was always laughing & joking to the point I felt like he was so immature. The min I brought emotions or try to talk about intimacy he changed subject. In 4 months we started off I actually felt lonely. I told him how I felt & I felt like I was 5th in his life . Instead of reflecting on how he had treated me he just said it’s obvious we think & feel different and this won’t work and walked away.
But he had said the same words before & came bk after a month . He blamed an ex for always wanting to be with him. I think she was treated the same personally & it was really all about him .
Honestly good luck to him he will never find a women being like this & I was so patient .

[disappearingusername]

Thank you. I was nodding along, acknowledging that my ex did all of these things ... and then you got to "spends extended periods of time with you, " which is exactly where things derailed. They did at first but got increasingly and noticeably anxious as time went on and I took it quite personally. They would suggest long weekends together but then be super cranky and it was so confusing. 😂

[nellautumngirl]

My partner does all of these. I know he loves me but that was nice to hear. We spend every weekend together and I want to spend more time with him, but for him it is a huge step. He sees his best friend once a month and he sees me 2 days a week :D :D

[pinkaa]

This is how my DA ex was at the beginning of the relationship and then he wasn't.

[ShimmerSoulSong]

Aww. The DA I was close with spent alot of time with me for a full one day a week, pretty much every week for years.
I so wish I had known all this before. So insightful. Brings in more understanding and compassion and acknowledgement. I think this person is growing out of DA is my hunch. More than half Secure.
I, as an FA/Secure... and during pandemic got more anxious... I generally like 2 or 3 checkins a week.
I realize how overwhelming I must have been with my need to connect more.

[TysonMichael]

As a DA that I've noticed iv'e behaved as for years, I am ready to learn more to break this pattern and really work through to see who I truly am. Iv'e identified the issues that happened in my childhood that caused that but im realized I may need more help.

[Michelle-qqsd]

When my DA finally wanted to be with me, I was frustrated by that time. But I was having a hard time expressing needs. Relationship died slowly. : ((

[elmisticourbano]

Thank you as always for sharing your wisdom, Thais. I know that you don't like it when dismissives get loads of flak, but from my experience, the issue is that, as the relationship with them "progresses"... well, it doesn't really move forward, as you would expect from a healthy relationship in which both parts allows themselves to show vulnerability, but they feel less and less compelled to invest in you, and more and more in their career, hobbies, "alone time", etc, since one of their core beliefs is that you'll end up leaving anyway, and so, almost without realizing it on a conscious level, you become conditioned to receive crumbs or nothing at all, even when you are in deep crisis! But ah, if you dare to call this out and set boundaries, even in a respectful, non-accusatory way, they will very probably stonewall you, and pull away further as they will interpret this as manipulative. Such deep distrust and paranoia from being controlled. They don't realize it's them who are being manipulative when they demand love and attention without reciprocating at all. I know it's a spectrum, and that those who are anxious-preoccupied also have selfish motives when they overgive, but sometimes the line between dismissives and neglectful narcissists is a little bit too narrow.

[Pr_]

My DA has ticked all 6. We have been together 7 months now but we haven’t had the conversation of officially being together. I’m happy with the way it’s going and understand he needs his time

[rhonnieminnie]

6/6 2 weeks before he deactivated. actually he was the one initiate me spending more time with him and his family, i was actually surprised he let me in that close. i knew he needed his space, and he had tons of it (prior to even knowing about attachment styles). he has not said a single word to me since he deactivated months ago. he has an extremely negative view of me and a lot of resentment from not communicating his needs. it really sucks being hurt because you did the right thing by showing your partner healthy love.

[divinationbytara]

You are my role model. I have saved my relationship thanks to you.

[doliva]

Thank you. I just realized that the person I’ve been with for almost 3 months is a DA. Frankly, I have only been with a hardcore narcissist (married for 18 years and finally divorced).

I want to see where this goes because I KNOW the person I’ve been dating is a good person. I like how you frame this is “programming” versus calling it a dysfunction.

Very interesting.

[howtosober]

Whew, thanks for the warning! Now I know what to run from.

[melisaacord]

He gave me all this in the beginning. A year in, and I can feel him leaving me. It’s agonizing.

[lisalee]

I guess even with DA’s you’ll know if they like you or not. I dated a DA who was extremely scared of losing his freedom and meeting a woman to «take it away», he was rigid and controlling about this and would put up strong bouandries. How ever he would text every week and prioritize me once a week, and was only dating me and being a gentlemen. I did feel he liked me.
I dated another DA i was really in love with and he would be love bombing and ghosting me in cycles and ask me out a lot but always stood me up. I guess that’s the DA NOT that into you, lol

[paris_]

I truly enjoy your DA breakdown. I am a DA woman. I would love to hear your perspective on a DA is struggling to be vulnerable with their partner, but their partner mocks their attempts (DA that doesn't feel emotionally safe in their relationship).

[liliaaaaaaaa]

Thank you Thais. Your videos are so informative thank you ! I just worked out finally my "partner" is more likely to be a DA! I didn't know much about attachment theory until recently when I started dating him last year, when various behaviours came up! Was very attentive in the beginning, wanting to work through differences and met my family did all the right moves, then once we started actually seeing each other once he told me he wanted to be committed, he started pulling away or withdrawing even when he was with me, at the same time as wanting to be with me all the time! It was very confusing! He was coming round my house eating / sleeping with me every day but then blocked me on FB when I complained he still had a photo of his ex he advertised on his profile from 30 years ago! When I asked why, he said it was about "the music" since they had been in a band together ... but that was 30 years ago! He also kept on idealising different musicians / actors and copying their clothing when he was performing in his own band! We had a break-up in the end for 4 months because I found his hot / cold style difficult to deal with. Now watching your videos has really helped me to understand his behaviour, to understand something about his background and why he is loving and connecting one minute, then withdraws after connection sometimes! We saw each other last weekend and he says he wants to continue with me sharing an allotment we got together for the next year, so that shows he wants to commit for another year and give it another go. Just he's asked me if I can be more in control of my own emotions, evidently meaning that when he shows FA or DA signs, I need to be able to be more objective understanding what he's going through so that I don't react feeling rejected whenever he disassociates or needs space as an Ap! At the same time I also need to get him to admit that idolising his ex or talking about actors too much is not going to help if he wants a proper relationship with me this time! Thank you for your wise words! :-)