Getting Over Your Ex, With Science

Dessa was tired of being in love with her ex-boyfriend. So she set out to retrain her brain.

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Credits:
Produced by Adam Cole and Ryan Kellman
Additional videography: Bronson Arcuri, CK Vijayakumar
Production help: Nsikan Akpan, Geoff Brumfiel, Ben de la Cruz, Claire Harbage, Miles Parks, CJ Riculan, Meredith Rizzo, Laura Roman, Morgan Noelle Smith, Gabriella Garcia-Pardo

Supervising Editor: Nicole Werbeck
Chief Science Editor: Andrea Kissack
NPR Director of Visuals: Keith Jenkins

Music:
“Half Of You”
“Good Grief”
“Fire Drills”
“5 out of 6”
From the album Chime by Dessa

Original brain scan images by Center for Magnetic Resonance Research at the University of Minnesota

Copyright © 2018 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use for further information.

[millsmeek]

I can’t stop appreciating Dr CHEGBE the great spell caster your work is so amazing, thanks for restoring my relationship

[franklehman]

"I never connected that my brain was, you know, connected to what I was thinking about."

Shocking.

[enso]

Penijean Gracefire is one of the coolest names I've ever heard

[christacoffen]

"Camping in your brain" EXACTLY.

[toothfairy]

I was just looking how to stop reminiscing about my ex and turns out this is more in depth to me as someone with anxiety, depression, and adhd. 🤯

[Ginkgoxvi]

dude....this channel should be more popular! great content!

[in.meraki]

I love how in movies, they get into accidents and then get a partial amnesia. No other harm.
I want partial amnesia when it comes to my ex.

[-bk]

I really want to forget him and everything he did to me...

[MooImABunny]

That's awesome
It's so nice to see that even though it worked, she's so level headed about it, saying she's a sample size of 1.
It's that kind of.. respecting the harsh reality of science.

[masterChiZhee]

A lot of people don't know that if you get a song stuck in your head and that if you end the song, similar to how a music director ends an orchestra, the song will actually stop in your head too. I'm sure there are extenuating circumstances, but this information seems relative here.

[KavasPVP]

My ex abused me for 2 and a half years to the point that it's bad with her and bad without her. Anything longer that 2 weeks and I collapse, I miss the relationship but it is toxic and I need to continue to separate and I don't know if I will recover

[kagitsune]

I would be interested in how to retrain the brain *without* EEG. Like a meditation, or another mind practice. Some sort of training without judgment, that one can do by themselves.

[SanderAnderon]

guess it almost makes sense that @ 2:47, as Dessa looks at her ex's pic, the FMRI takes on the shape of an upside-down heart.

[lemonlickinlarry]

SO, in conclusion, I've gotta start rapping. THEN I can trade my whisky for closure?

[maryannnardelli]

I was in a relationship many years ago and still can't get over him.

[siaoguai]

I looked up her work and I couldn't call her a rapper...

[MoatazSaber]

You guys put some serious work in this ... Nice job guys :)

[Rulerofwax]

I wasn't going to originally click on this because it looked kind of click bait, but saw it was Skunk Bear and knew it would be good. And who pops up but Dessa, one of my favorite artists.

[rainyrainold]

I would like to see the fmri results on the difference between a couple being newly in love and a mother having a new baby.

[nickc]

Dessa seems insanely talented, thank you SB for showing her to me!