How To Get Over Your Ex (When You Still Obsess Over Them)

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Betrayal. Anger. Heartbreak. These emotions are normal in the wake of a breakup.

But often, especially if we feel we’ve been mistreated by the person we broke up with, anger lingers long after it’s productive. We become captive to this toxic emotion, unable to move on and get over what happened, rendering closure impossible.

So how can we truly heal from this type of pain? In today's new video, we'll discuss how.

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▼ Chapters ▼

0:00 – 1:43 – “It’s Just Not Fair”
1:43 – 3:01 – How to Forgive and Let Go
3:01 – 4:20 – Your Real Responsibility
4:20 – 7:19 – Dealing With Anger and Disappointment
7:19 – 9:13 – A Good Life
9:13 – 11:52 – Doing the Deeper Healing
11:52 – 12:42 – Your Invitation

[ChocoParfaitFra]

I truly hate it when people just tell you to be positive and not be angry and such, it’s so wrong. You need to feel your feelings without judgement

[jeanloock]

It's so hard to move on, especially when you've given so much to the other person. I feel so destroyed.

[hetastic_bro]

I found myself feeling angry at my ex this morning while thinking about how they treated me before we broke up. I felt better after indulging in friends and hobbies. I deserve peace and happiness, not dwelling on someone who isn’t in my life anymore.

[charliemotivational]

This is the first time I realized that I deserve a good life. The powerful thing about this video is that I realize it applies to child abuse. My family always made me feel like I don’t deserve a good life. Even now if I have a good vacation or even a good meal at a good restaurant my family tells me to my face that I’m wasting money (even though it’s not their money). Thank you for this video.

[drsapnanayak]

Every emotion that Matthew spoke of is so real, the pain is so real. And it does keep coming back and carries a danger of draining your energy if you don't consciously and mindfully engage yourself in self-care and self-love. Every time you find yourself stuck in that pain, come here and see one of these videos posted by Matthew. I promise, it will lift you up. The more you do this, the easier it gets to heal.
And the deep message that Matthew gives in this video of letting yourself live your life happily hereafter! Like Jay Shetty too said, forgiving someone is not letting go of what they did and their mistakes but rather to let go of that pain it is causing you!

[Enchanteralle]

I have friends who tell me to just move on or forgive and I'm thinking: I'm so freakin' pissed off for all I was put through by this one person...how do I just let go and just move on? I need the validation and space to tell myself I deserve better. It takes time. I'm not a light switch where I can just switch off the person who never gave me proper closure. I had personal growth in my own time and still get triggered when I think about little things he did, but it helps to know that it gets better and that I don't have to "wish him the best." I need to wish myself the best first.

[benedictabernado]

Living well is the best revenge...take a bath and keep smiling inside

[susane]

I still love him. I doubt I will EVER get over him. It's a very lonely world when you are not part of a couple or a family with kids. I struggle every day. I have been struggling for almost 3 years since he dumped me. I have tried everything to get over him. But he's still there, in my heart, gnawing at me.

[Mi-dkbr]

Matthew, you said all the words I’m exactly feeling. It is unfair that when your partner betrays you, you’re the one left burned and dealing with the pain. And the pain doesn’t just go away. Thank you for this video.

[Enavor]

The universe puts people in your life to help you grow - sometimes those people are extremely bad - but they're put there to show you what you are not.

[milliondollartrooper]

Thanks Matthew for great content. To all the women and men going through pain from a break up, feel your emotions, go through the grief. We all need to feel seen and heard. I see you l hear you even though I'm not able to fly halfway across the world. Sending love to all❤

[iceriahikari]

I just got out of a painful relationship through a painful break-up. I found peace but I keep on relapsing from time to time. Thank you so much for this video. This will help me acknowledge my own feelings, not setting them aside, and hopefully one day be able to move on.

[cristinaramirez]

Ive watched 2 of your videos and it made me feel good. You are such a great motivator and helped me a lot with my emptiness now. Thank you so much and more power to your channel..❤❤❤

[lauriemorales]

This is just what I needed to hear. I was treated so horribly, and he acts like he never knew me. He was so cruel and financially screwed me over, as well as trying to destroy me in the process. I'm hurt and extremely angry!! Thank you ❤

[cosmeticsandpurseswithevelyn]

Thank you for your advice I needed this, We are still going through this more or less even after years of breaking up its like we kinda still need each other voice and he needs help from me everytime he gets in trouble messing with the wrong people/girls and since he has painful illnesses I feel sorry so Ive helped him out when his needs it then it continues as only friends. Ive forgiving him but still can feel anger when I bring what he did to me and he really did it!

[justinjrahman]

Love you dude. As always, I felt that message for the men too. Saw your emotions in the video get deep in one of the chapters.

You have this ability to access the pain for all of us currently living it. I find that so unique about you. Without having to re live the pain, you bring it out and give us a truly wise take on it. Every one of your videos is refreshing. I find so much more nuanced peace thanks to you. You changed my life last year. You continue to be a source of grace and a reminder of grace during the relapses 😉 💪

[ireefree]

Write a letter about everything what was bad to the person without sending it to them. It helped me in the past very much, especially if the break up came suddenly without closure...

[differentyetsame]

Honestly.. thank you so much for this post.. we wrestle with feeling the angst when you don't want to be a person that is bitter.. most definitely corrosive.. the reframe to self love, self respect was so very well needed.. definitely deserve a rest ❤ definitely deserve peace

[feyzakaya]

This is the first video that actually helped, thank you!

[jucxox]

That was so helpful, thank you Matthew. 🙏
Will keep reminding myself I deserve the life I want. And continue working for it.