10 Signs You Might Be Nonbinary | Enby Thoughts

Hello, lovely humans! Here I present to you 10 signs that you may be nonbinary, or possibly trans or otherwise gender non-conforming. Ultimately, your gender identity can only be determined by you -- you know yourself best! But here I am in my enby glory to help you out along the way if you're feeling a little lost or maybe looking for some self-validation.

Welcome, lovely humans and aliens! We are a trio consisting of an asexual, a greysexual, and a demisexual. On our channel we talk about queer things in addition to our other nerdy interests.
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My name is Elle (they/she/he) and I'm an enby and aro-space ace doing my queer thing here in the internet universe. Join me and let's be gay nerds. I'd really like that. Love you!!

[spam]

3:42 im 5'4 too and get a *lot* of dysphoria around my height and not being seen as "masculine". Just FYI I want to point out plenty of cis men are this height and it shouldn't stop anyone from passing or being perceived as feminine. not trying to be offensive, loves ur videos and stuff I just think society shouldn't gender height

[clayquartz]

The way I was instantly called out by #1 LMAO

[kriscrossender]

Another sign from my own experience: fixating on gender norms, especially as a child, and either trying very hard to uphold them or trying very hard to break them. For example, when I was a kid, I decided that pink was my favorite color because I was a girl and it was a girliest color, therefore it *should* be my favorite. I still have conflicted feelings over the color because it's hard to tell if I ever truly liked it, or if it became part of my identity as an expression of femininity that I tried so hard to fit into.

And also, I dont know if its just a me thing: but also if all your romantic partners/closest friends are all trans/enby, and you have a fixation on the trans/enby experience you just cant explain. I personally have never seriously dated a cis person, and not even through any consious decisions. Not only that, but I feel an instant draw towards anyone gender non-conforming to the point where my trans radar never fails, because I will just walk into a room and if there is a trans person there at all, my brain will already be fixated on them, and how cool and awesome they look/are.

[moonbowcraze]

"You're very aware of your gender expression." Younger me needed to prove my femininty so badly as a "cis" person. I didn't even like women's social customs, I just thought I had to be as girly as possible.

Maybe it was just denial?

[feyefall]

Number 7 is kind of just my entire obsession with elves, changelings, and robots/cyborgs; like every one of my favorite characters could fall into one or more of these categories. Also it took me forever and a half to realize the wanting to *be* someone rather than wanting to be *with* them. That and several squishes confused me so bad!

[zapzap]

0:00 Intro
1:11 1. You clicked on this video
1:35 2. You are very particular about the way you look or gender expression
2:07 3. When you are in a group of people of the same gender as you, you fill a little different
2:47 4. You like the idea of body alterations
3:22 5. You like when you get "misgendered"
3:51 6. You get sort of obsessed with how certain people look
4:41 7. You have had some sort of fixation on the idea of genderlessness
5:30 8. At some point of your life, particularly pubescent or post pubescent life you've had some kind of mental health struggle
6:19 9. You forget that gender is a thing
6:34 10. In general you feel like some kind of a weirdo
6:59 Outro, kind of

It bugged me that there weren't any timestamps so here they are I guess

[Pnylve]

Omg I feel so called out by sign number 6! I've recently become kinda obsessed with a non-binary person at my school and I was so confused because I was very sure it wasn't a crush! Also this explains why I like Kaden so much, it's like you CAN be non-binary and have long hair!

[vitrain]

i have no clue what my gender is tbh LOL
i mean- im an afab and im fine with being a girl HOWEVER if i were born a boy i dont think i would be a trans girl. I just really dont care, at least i dont think so

[HelloThere-kimg]

I'm cis, but when I was younger I definitely seemed "particular" about what I wore. Looking back... I think it had to do with a combination of not liking being told what I was "supposed" to wear and simply the fact that the girls clothes I owned were way less comfortable, so wearing dudes clothes helped my ADHD focus. I can also distinctly remember there being a person at my church when I was little and I could never figure out their gender... I didn't necessarily like or dislike that trait about them, I was just trying to guess and hadn't been exposed to very many queer people😅. However, I can very vividly remember HATING it much when people misgendered me as someone's little boy with long hair. It just felt so... humiliating. Which I think gave me a bit more understanding and empathy for people who aren't cis, what only had to happen to me probably less than 20 times in my whole life is something trans people who don't look like their gender have to go through on a daily basis. I got to have a small taste of that "nakedness" and feeling of having your sense of self stripped away. It fills you with shame and discomfort. Made me realize people aren't "soft" or "snowflakes" for wanting to be called by the correct pronouns, and they they are a lot more than "just words".

At some point in time, I stopped being so picky about clothes. I owe an insanely huge thanks to the help from a neighbor who told my mom to "not worry about it, she'll grow out of it" when she asked if she should be making me dress more femininely. My mom has since had a change of heart, but I guess my neighbor was right because I did eventually, mostly, grow out of it. I'm so glad I was allowed that time of exploration and wasn't forced to wear stuff I hated all the time.

So yeah, I think we should normalize cis people thinking about their gender identities because I think it's a lot more complicated and individualized than we make it out to be.

Thank you for coming to my 3am Ted talk with no coherency whatsoever

Edit: I just gotta say: your hair is SO. COOL. Kinda looks like the aro flag a bit with the black shirt, I love how it's darker on the top and light green underneath it's very mesmerizing 😂

[kellypdontmesswithme]

Is agender a thing? Like no gender. I know I'm not a man or a woman but non binary people seem to often affiliate with some sort of gender expression, and that feels very foreign to me. Ive told my friends before that I don't feel like a man, but I don't feel like anything else, so I don't want to call myself nonbinary since non-b's face actual societal issues and I just feel uncomfortable. I think I dress very androgynously, all I wear are sweatshirts and pants. But it seems like lack of gender is seen as masculine our society.
Has anyone felt this way?

[Hannah-zjnk]

Me: uncomfortable with being woman
Also me: not man, definitely not
What? What is if not those? Am Engineer. That is all.

[ws]

02:07 - 02:48: same here, when I was younger I always seen my social groups as girls, boys, and me.

Perhaps the biggest question I doubt anybody has any answer to is:

"Am I not like other girls or not even a girl at all?"

[ruibestboi]

To point number 5 : I once got misgendered by that one man working in the hotel, where me and my family stayed for 1 week at the vacation. He said that boys in my age need some vacation too from time to time, and my sister was looking at me in confusing, while I was smiling like crazy (but I didn't show it, cuz I haven't come out to my family yet).

And to make it more clear I am non-binary.

[ThestPurpleCat]

3:26 ~ It’s kinda funny you say that.

“You like the idea of being misgendered.”

Idk what ‘gender envy’ is, and I don’t believe I experience it. However, there’s just something about girls who are easily mistaken for guys, especially when it’s a plot device in the story. And I have no idea what that even means for my gender. I can’t even describe what emotion I feel when I think of being in their situation.

When I wanted to write a story about this girl who goes undercover as a boy to go to an all boys academy, I just loved the idea of hiding it. Irl I definitely don’t like he/him pronouns, but still, the idea of hiding my AGAB and gender sounds... good in a weird way. But, at the same time, I don’t want to be a “guy”. My gender isn’t male, so why would I be interested in that so much?

I have things from my childhood that I believe are signs, but I know a lot of people would just say are me being a quirky girl or me being “not like other girls”.

I liked pink, but in a defiant way. Like, I liked pink, but not in a girly girl way.

I hated the idea of being pegged as a “girly-girl” and was disgusted by the idea. I was completely fine with other people being girly-girls, just not me.

I hated the idea of being a girly-girl so much that I considered myself a tomboy, even though I didn’t feel connected to actual tomboys or acting/being masculine.

I felt like I didn’t actually fit in the “box” of being a girl. Boys are race cars and action figures. Girls are Barbies and playing house. I was stuffed animals and exploring the backyard for bugs.

I never liked the idea of having a sister cause I would be confronted with the fact that I wasn’t.... “fitting” what a girl should be. I was scared I’d be a bad sister for this (“what if”) sister. I’d be a good sibling, but I definitely wouldn’t be a brother... but I don’t think I’d be a ‘sister’ either. I was scared of the thought of a sister cause I didn’t want to confront the idea.

Even now, I like dresses hypothetically. Like, wear a dress, look pretty, go to a party: idk if I really care too much. Wear a dress barefoot and run through a beautiful field: yes please! I remember my mom and grandma wanted to get me a dress for Easter when I was 6 or 7. I couldn’t find one I liked, because they were ugly but also because I couldn’t do ‘fun things’ in them. Once I did find one I liked, I told them I liked it... but then I got sad and asked “could I play in puddles with it?” Idk, it just feels very gender to mess around in nature in a dress.

I chose my pronouns in 1st grade? Kindergarten? Idk, whatever grade it is when you practice pronouns. The thing is, they taught us pronouns, and we matched she/her to feminine presenting stick figures and he/him to masculine looking stick figures... but no one told me they were supposed to be for specific genders. So I went home and wanted to be nice to my mom, so before she could ask what we learned in school today, I told her we learned pronouns. We talked a little bit, until I randomly said, “I think I like she/her pronouns for myself more then he/him.” I felt like I should inform her cause I wasn’t sure how fem I came off as, so I wanted to clarify just in case. My mom says, “Uhhh... I’d course you’re pronouns are she/her. You’re a girl.” “Oh.”

I never felt like I fit in with other girls my age, but I think it was mainly my interests not aligning with theirs. Me being aro-spec and ace-spec also heavily influenced that cause my friends are like “oooo, I have a crush on that person” and I’m like, “wait, you have a crush? I thought that was supposed to happen later?”

That’s all I can think of right now. I think I’m genderfluid. I think I experience female, agender, and neutrois fluidly. I’m ok with being AFAB cause I’m normally fem-leaning with gender, but I wish I didn’t look so fem or look so AFAB. Idk. I like she/her and ey/em, but not he/him nor they/them. They/them is ok, but I’d much prefer she/her and ey/em.

SPOILERS for Voltron and Oran Host Club:
The only two characters I can think of that are a girl, but are mistaken for a boy, are Haruhi from Oran Host Club and Pidge from Voltron.

[sallywright]

The blue or green hair is often a good indicator 😂😂😂

[sirintegrajr]

I'm 26 and have been wondering for a few years if I might be nonbinary. I used to always put ace bandages around my chest in middle school and high school (note: please avoid doing this if possible, it's not safe), so I wondered for a while if I was trans, but that didn't feel right at all. I've been inexplicably allergic to being called a "girl" or "woman" for my whole life. A bunch of other signs led me to realizing I'm queer, which was a good realization, but I still feel... weird. Just not all the way like a human person. I never really let myself consider that I could be nonbinary because I feel most comfortable when there's a distinct feminine element to my appearance.
The way I've been phrasing it is that gender doesn't make any sense to me and feels totally reductive, and you could use any pronouns for me and I wouldn't care. But there's something extra sweet about "they" because I feel like "they" treats me as a person, not a piece of meat. For the last few months I've been slowly dipping my toe into using she/they pronouns and it feels so right. Nobody ever they-s me, but just hearing myself say my pronouns are she/they and seeing it in my bios finally feels right. I still wasn't sure about calling myself non-binary until this video but this really confirmed a lot for me that I'd been hesitating around.

[voidthe]

one neat sign I notice in myself is that I weirdly experiences some change in how i see the world. like, when I tought of myself as a boy or a girl, I imagine myself in a third person prespective and usually pretty out of it/ not fully "conscious" if I am seeing in first person. But when I percieve myself as this gender, it's easier to see in first person prespective and I just feel more... clear I guess.

[kylaxd]

ok lets appreciate how relatable number 10 is
very cool hair btw very green

[JamesDavis-psyy]

So an aside: as an autistic person watching this video, it's very similar to many of the autistic experiences, just without the specificity about gender.

(Which is not terrible surprising as a disproportionate number of autistic folks are trans/NB/GNC and vice versa)

[roseforcatsandbooks]

I may have an eleventh sign: Even not wanting to actually be a man, I like to dress in man clothes, because they hide my body shape. I’ve become to really dislike my breasts, even though thinking about it, I realise now that ever since middle school i tried to hide them or make them look… smaller? It’s weird to think about or write about, but yeah. Love your videos, thank you so much for what you do💜