Can Therapy Change a Narcissist? With Wendy Behary, Author of Disarming the Narcissist

In this video, Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is joined by Wendy Behary, author of Disarming the Narcissist, to discuss whether people who are diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are capable of overcoming their disorder through the use of therapy and a specialized treatment program.

ABOUT WENDY BEHARY
With 30 years of professional experience and advanced-level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC. She is the author of an internationally bestselling book, "Disarming the Narcissist...” translated into 15 languages.

Learn more about Wendy by visiting her website:

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering codependency contributions are responsible for the sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developing a treatment program that permanently resolves it.

Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops.

His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel with 23 million views and 250,000 subscribers and the sale of 155,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages.

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[sujatha]

Narcissists learn to be better at manipulation, better at gaslighting, better at mind games, and better at staying hidden with therapy. They learn the tools to get away with anything from their therapists

[thomzydervelt]

When I tried counseling with my narcissistic wife; she started counseling the counselor. Luckily the female counselor refused to continue and told me privately to get out of the relationship.

[breakthroughmoment]

“They miss it. They’re caught up in all the denial. They’re caught up in the intelligent banter, and intellectualization. They get caught up in the covert victim. I’m the victim.” My covert narcissistic mother to a T. This is exactly what she pulled off with the family therapist. Thanks for explaining.

[briankelley]

I knew that there was something wrong with me when I was a young teenager.

I went to therapy for 40 years. And I took it very seriously.
I was never diagnosed with narcissism. Now 56 years old.

Watching videos like this and having an epiphany.I now know that I am a narcissist.
I was lied to and deceived four 40 years. By all the psychiatrist and therapist i have seen.

If I was ever to tell a psychiatrist or a therapist i was in fact a narcissist they would probably Gaslight me and tell me know you're not. you're a good person. you're smart you're nice to talk to you're funny and on and on until I would agree with them.
Now that I know that I am a narcissist I am capable of help I am capable of being a better person I am capable of being considerate of others.
I am so sorry to all the people that I have hurt.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I'm so sorry.

[zehenkashmir]

Talking about Leverage. I see some therapist to prove their competence, use the empathic spouse who is the real narcissistic abuse victim, stay in couples counseling to act as that leverage who the Narc wants to keep under control. That just is devastating to this spouse who already is suffering. Wish the therapist were trained to actually educate and hold separate sessions with the non Narc spouse and explain to them what they r dealing with and then give them options. Do you want to go ahead? What to expect in this journey? Frequently check w this non Narc. As well as ensure that they refer them to one to one therapist .

[Nick-kfio]

Brilliant video. I was nodding my head in agreement over and over. Many little things and perspectives I've never quite heard before

[odette]

Is there a longer conversation? This IS intriguing.

[thomzydervelt]

Btw the best thing I did after the narcissistic wife stole my new car and forged the owner paperwork was to cut all ties 100 percent .

[kieradan]

How can we help out children navigate this solo when we are forced to coparent with a narcissist? Please help

[miriamful]

no amount of therapy will change a narcissist. Anyone who claims they can change is not telling the whole truth. They can only modify their behaviour, or learn tricks from the therapist.

[odette]

Fascinating conversation. Wonderful concepts although not convinced that NPD can fully alter that hardwired survival programming.

[anewlifestirring]

Those who ask for treatment are very rewarding, but the many others who have no hope or ambition of changing carefully avoid therapists.

The person I have in mind was well aware of her personality disorder, very sad about it, but convinced that it was an inborn disorder, hopeless and would under no circumstances consider therapy.

Perhaps their coping strategy for life is a sort of addiction, so well grooved that they are able to consider letting down their coping mechanisms so as to adopt a new strategy for human relations.

Perhaps we could consider the legal obligation of treatment as we do for alcoholics.

[thelovely]

I hope it can help them eventually. they come from a severely fragile place of self esteem, trauma and void. Even though I have been hurt by many it's a sad existence. I had to have boundaries and distance but I do hate the it's completely incurable stuff being said because these are people who went through their whole childhood not being loved for who they were and society telling them they can never be better is part of the problem.

[briankelley]

As a narcissist if you want to find out a lot about yourself.
Secretly record yourself in conversation with others. then listen to your conversations by yourself and hear yourself in the third party.

[aj]

and there are narcissists who would use their own victimization as a weapon as well.

[nv_chino]

My biggest mistake and this is to save everyone time with dealing with these people. They DO have a mental illness and incapable of doing better even when knowing better. I literally cared for the wrong people and trying to think of them as human beings but they’re not. Normal people don’t behave the way they behave 24-7. And I’ve been there and done that with these corrupt to the soul people. These people are motivated by money drugs sex, don’t ever think they’ll be motivated by wanting to change

[tonifoster]

Great contents as always my question is at what age would they start to demonstrate narcissistic tendencies and are these types of people difficult to raise ?

[zedradio]

So now, twenty years later, it is possible, when and if they are willing to be honest 😢 with their therapist. They say in recovery, it's a slow and gradual process, short coming are long going. Spot the evil, being a sounding board, doesn't mean believing, their crap, because you need a paycheck, week after week.. So save your spot for somebody who actually wants to recover. I'm comfortable with the fact that if someone doesn't want to move forward, likely you are the one being dragged backward.. Peace

[charingcross]

IF you can get them into therapy, and IF they stay in therapy beyond one or two sessions, their behaviour may be modified for a finite amount of time, but they WILL revert. NPD is all pervasive and there is no switch with which to turn their behaviour off.

[pinkposey]

The answer is no, and why would one waste their time vying for them to change. Meet new people who are not of this nature. Train yourself.