What Happens When A Narcissist Goes To Therapy?

Do you have a narcissist in your life that you would like to see get help?

Maybe you even believe they could change if they just went to therapy.

In today’s video, I share my point of view, as a therapist, when a narcissist goes to therapy.

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Disclaimer:
This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via YouTube, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.

Edited by Video Editing Experts

#Narcissist #NarcissisticRelationship #HealingFromNarcissists

☀️☀️CHAPTERS☀️☀️
0:00 Intro
1:47 NPD Traits
8:45 The Motivation for a Narcissist to Come to Therapy
11:56 Concluding Therapy with a Narcissist
14:27 What If I Am a Narcissist Who Wants to Change?
15:47 People Who Are in Relationships with a Narcissist

[Ra_vee]

When I went to couples counselling with a narc, the counsellor was actually very good and saw through it. The counsellor (who was male) took me aside and told me there was no point in counselling to improve the relationship and it was a matter of either accepting the narc would never change or leaving the relationship altogether. He said if I chose to leave, he would choose me over the narc in regard to further therapy, as it was a conflict of interest to continue to see both of us.
So refreshing to have someone tell you like it was. I left soon after and never once regretted it.

[DennisNowland]

I went out with a narcissist who got herself in trouble at work and went to counselling has a condition of keeping her job. She bragged to me that she went through the motions and told the counciller exactly what she wanted to hear. Says it all. To the narcissist, it's a game.

[BitcoinNewsTodayLive]

My ex female covert narcissist has gone to therapy for years which really threw me off until I realized the therapist was just another form of supply weekly.

[theguynextdoor]

They can be pretty emotionally draining. Very few narcissists will even go to the therapy office. Do they make lasting, sustainable change? 95+% of the time no. Some narcs even became more aware during therapy, and ended up being more effective manipulators. Personality disorders on the dark triad typically have a low prognosis of change. Don't get your hopes up if your partner is a true narc.

[streaming]

My toxic sister goes to a counsellor. She hasn't changed one bit. The counsellor sympathises with her and tells my sister exactly what she wants to hear. I'm sure the counsellor never challenges her. She's been hostile towards me all my life.

[georgeedward]

Does anyone else get the impression that the profession of politics was invented and designed specifically for narcissists?

[stella]

Oh my god! That’s how my mother responded, who I suspect has a narcissistic disorder - she started questioning my therapist’s license, knowledge, everything just because the therapist didn’t say things my mother wanted to hear.

[kathiejl]

Oh my gosh Barbara, you nailed it! I want to thank you very much for this video!
When you talked about the narcissist coming to therapy and how it would end, it so validated what happened with my husband. He would get three sessions in and come up with some excuse why we shouldn’t see the therapist anymore. And then, just as you said, he would tell me that it was more me that needed to go individually.
We tried three times, each time of course it was up to me to find a therapist by myself, even though he was the one that seem to have strict criteria on who we saw.
During the conversation the day he was ending our marriage of 12 years, I brought up couples counseling, and he said that you have to work on yourself before you can go to Couples counseling. Insane!

[ktryushi]

I think they can change. But the problem is they don’t want to change. It’s how they were rooted this way. I really empathize with narcissists, I really do even they have major issues. Because we don’t know what they had been through as a child….Childhood trauma can affect your personality, especially when they get triggered by young age. But they have no right to abuse innocent people and wreck their lives. Their hearts are so dark they can’t get out this hatred and anger circle. Nothing you can do about, just leave them, period. Narcissists are complex individuals. It comes from deep insecurities, projecting their anger and hatred. Narcissists hate themselves, they don’t deny it but they really do hate themselves….Thanks for the video lovely Barbara.

[jamilgotcher]

Therapy seems like the ideal environment for a narcissist to do what they love best, carrying on about themselves.

[johnkosi]

Sometimes they are good·liers because they genuinely believe their own false narrative, not because they are good at being deceptive.

[pjmackall]

When the therapist made a suggestion for change to the ex narcissist, he stood up, shot the therapist the bird, screamed at her, and huffed out. 😂

[johannajorgensen]

Wow. I went through therapy with my ex-fiance and literally had the exact experiences you described here. He was angry, accusatory, dismissive, insulted the counselor's credentials, insisted that all our problems were entirely mine alone, and when confronted about his NPD, angrily stormed out never to return.

[risingeagle]

You are absolutely right about the Narcissist w/ NPD.

I went to therapy with my wife (w/NPD; not diagnosed) it was a total waste of time and a mind altering experience.

I would always leave therapy with her….”Worse off, and always asking ‘What just happened.”

She would play the therapist like a fiddle, and I would always be confounded. She had therapist coming to the house for women time.

Therapy does not work on Narcissist w/NPD; to them
its their favorite playground to toy with everyone.



Note: I figured out my ex-wife was a Histrionic Narcissist w/NPD after our divorce and I found myself in Crisis Shelter for months trying to recover from the emotional and psychological abuse for months.

I have been diagnosed with MDD, CPTSD, Sever Anxiety and Anhedonia. I am also still struggling with the aftereffects of the Narcissistic

[carolina.rentes]

I'm married to someone who gave me a lot of heartache in our years together. My father has NPD (diagnosed) and his mother is too. My partner was incredibly egocentric and hurted me a lot, specially in our first couple of years together. When I decided I was done with everything, he went to therapy (2 years and counting) and a little after we started couples therapy (1 year ago). He changed so much that sometimes is hard do think about how he behaved before. Still, he thinks he's narcissistic, despite all the changes and his self awareness, and our couple's therapist thinks he has traits. When he's stressed out, he's still goes back to being really defensive and egocentric, but nothing like he used to be. He tries to be mindful every waking hour so he doesn't hurt me, but sometimes he still do (changing important agreements we made without talking to me, or doing things behind my back that he knows will hurt me - but nothing major, not like in the beginning), but I know he's been working really hard in the last year. Can he be narcissistic? If not, in those are just traits, do you think it's possible that he becomes a somewhat healthy person eventually? Or he will always hurt me in the same ways, from time to time? It's really confusing for me this "narcissists don't change" thing, because it is a spectrum, right? If so, those who don't fully qualify for the disorder, but have some traits, those people can be more "normal"? I'm sorry for the long question, but I never saw anyone talking about this, the correlation between the severity and the possibility to change. Thank you so much for your videos. I'll be waiting for the one about couples therapy

[nolankylie]

The narcissist I know stood over the therapist, verbally attacking the them when the they pointed out her behaviour, then told the therapist she wasn’t qualified and stormed out- exactly like you said!!

[hopet]

You are so intelligent and well spoken. Thank you Ms Barbara!!!

[relaxedandhappy]

My ex-partner probably had narcissistic personality disorder and paranoid personality disorder. We were in couples therapy (only once or twice) and I knew I'd need to talk to the therapist alone because otherwise I wouldn't be allowed to say the truth. But at the same time, I also knew that I couldn't ask for one-on-one meetings because he would've exploded on me later.
Thank God we broke up soon after.

[B-H-B-E-B]

Nailed it! On 5th session he suddenly raged at the therapist and said “You’re against me and biased towards her! “ Walked out, then wrote a letter complaining about the therapist!!! Spooky how my experience was EXACTLY as you described in the video!

[goldeegreene]

Thanks so much, Barbara. Your explanation of "taking responsibility" for narcissist abuse is a game-changer for me!