Common Reasons Why Narcissists Come to Treatment | DIANA DIAMOND

Do narcissists only go to treatment when their families and partners force them to go? Diana Diamond thinks not. There are plenty of reasons to show up at therapy even if you don't know you have narcissistic pathology.

Narcissistic grandiosity is very brittle and breaks down easily, producing depressive reactions, anxiety, emptiness, hopelessness, despair and loneliness. The incapacity to love fully or to mourn losses is also a major symptom of narcissistic pathology.

We talked with Diana Diamond about the prevalence of narcissism in our society today, all the way from healthy traits to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

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Diana Diamond is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in her practice treating NPD and BPD.

[practicallyascientist]

After taking multiple tests. I’m very narcissistic and it’s messing my life up. I’m so narcissistic I sometimes fantasize about being sad in public so people can look at me. I’m constantly trying to communicate with people to try and feel better than i feel by myself. I’m very honest with my closest friends

[myyuhhhe]

Yes I hate that there’s not a lot of help for narcissism. I’m proud of y’all for being able to recognize this in yourself because it’s actually hard to. 🥂 to healing and I give love to all of you.

[ugomariapablo]

I’m so narcissistic. Maybe not a disorder but I definitely need therapy, that’s for sure. I’m so lonely because of this.

I love the comments. I never knew people like me existed who recognize their faults. False therapy YouTubers say narcissists can’t know they are narcissists but these comments prove them wrong. We know and we need help.

[julientyt]

The healing began with hearing her validating the loneliness in narcs.

[tishie]

We don't just seek help as we age so we don't die alone as some would say. People are in disbelief sometimes when we are seeking help. But Some of us really are sick and tired of our own voids. We can and do recover. I didn't tell anyone. Others around me noticed the changes before I did. It was amazing. I will always be a work in progress, but so is everyone else, it's OK to not be perfectly on track and on target all the time. Nobody is going to hate me more than myself, and that's exactly how others will treat me if I set that precedent.

[TheBiggestMoronYouKnow]

IM TIRED OF BEING TENSE ALL THE TIME
IM TIRED OF NOT BEING HAPPY
IM TIRED OF THE TRAINED TOXICITY DECIDING MY PERSONALITY

[hannahdavis]

I've recently been diagnosed with NPD and I've been struggling to find good information on it outside of who I'm seeing. I especially went looking tonight due to having some bad anxiety/negative emotions around a small incident that felt "humiliating." Seeing all the negativity around NPD (narcissistic abuse, anxiety from dealing with narcissists, etc.) only seemed to make my mood worse. But seeing this, seeing people in the comments that say they're narcissistic too is very nice and reassuring to see. I'm still learning to identify all my narcissistic traits as a start and seeing especially how they affected me in my past (when my trauma was more of an open wound and I was in a darker place), but it's nice to see someone that treats us like humans. It's just nice to see someone actually offering advice without treating us like we're monsters or not even human. I've been in and out of therapy for a while (partly due to me also having avoidant personality disorder and also just how I communicate since I'm autistic as well), but I have known I've needed help for a while even if I wasn't always fully open to it.

But overall, I just wanted to say thank you. It's a breath of fresh air and doesn't judge and treats us like actual humans that happen to be disordered and struggling. It's so nice to be seen in a realistic way. Genuinely, thank you.

[twillsJKZ]

I truly believe there is hope for this disorder. I’m not sure I have the full pathology but definitely have traits. I have noticed through observation how much I struggle with identity and gaining approval from other people. I often feel empty if I’m not Pursuing a certain goal which I feel will enhance my image in some way or make other people see me as valuable or of worth. It’s absolutely gut wrenching to think that I’m a bad person who has manipulated people & although most of it has been subconscious, I know I have done it many times. And then to hear what others say about Narcissists and how demonic they are it’s absolutely terrifying to think that’s who you can be at times. But I think even with the lack of self identity underneath these behaviours there is still a consciousness that runs through all of us that can hold this pain and hurt. Through meditation and self inquiry I have been able to find peace in myself, not all the time but it’s always in me, in every human being. The more we access this and remain in our hearts and body and away from our heads the more we feel, and the more capacity we have to feel for other people. It’s not a choice to be like this and although many people who have this disorder (if they know they have it) wish they didn’t. Hold space for your emptiness, hold space for your pain, hold space for your insecurities, for your longing to be loved, give yourself the approval you desire from others. We can change, have hope❤

[grease]

I learned that i may be a narcissist. I dont really care about anything or anyone and i have found multiple ways to bring down the people around me. I dont care what interests anyone around me, i only really care about myself and what i want. How i feel and how i want to do things. Obviously ive started getting help for it, but i feel more like im just guilt tripping myself into making myself something else for someone else.

[Yesofficer]

I am a covert narcissistic.. Always trying to build myself for positivity, love, caring..But certainly I am paranoid to everything..I doubt my worth .. Always fearful ..Cynic ..So sad in life.. Always doing different kind of things.. Losing the empathy for others .In a victim mode..I need help .

[spiritofhonuguidanceforlife]

I believe narcissism is a spiritual attachment born likely from dealing with narcissistic people in childhood. Not feeling loved unconditionally as a child. Spiritual attachments tend to show up energetically as physical manifestations in the mind and body. They arent bad, they are warning signals that something needs to be addressed on a deeper level. In order to love others, we have to learn and understand how to love ourselves unconditionally. And THAT is a journey that someone can and will take ONLY when they are ready. Awareness is the first step. Then acknowledgement without self judgement. Then the healing journey can begin. I 100% believe narcissists have the power within them to change and heal, they just have to trust their own process and believe they can. 💗

[Unknown-qbxr]

I simply define my narcissism as my whole existence is build upon the idea that my life and purpose Is a stage and everyone else is my audience I dont know any other way to live and it's a constant battle twards myself I wish I had a normal mentality because I dont want to live with myself I'm not the type to hate others because I see I rely on people to think of myself because I'm to fearful of my own emotions I can manipulate people but not myself so I completely ignore myself.
And the stigma about narcissist on the internet is horrible because I'm too scared to seek treatment

[sarahm]

Here is what I have a problem with. When somebody goes into therapy, claiming themselves, "I believe I have narcissism and I want to fix myself, " this is what happens. This is what fucking happens. The therapist is going to say, "No you don't have narcissism. Impossible." And the person is left with NO HELP WHATSOEVER because so many of these fucking psychotherapists and psychologists think they know everything about narcissism when they fail to challenge their mere theories about the personality disorder. If somebody tries coming to their own accord about their own narcissism, FUCKING HELP THEM AND DON'T TELL THEM THEY JUST DO NOT HAVE NARCISSISM. FUCKING GIVE THEM THE TREATMENT THEY NEED.

[mcparks]

My wife is a Vulnerable Narcissist who always has to be the victim, she has worked very hard to convince me that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. In treatment, the therapist, after a couple months, just said, "Stop, you don't have BPD, you're the victim of Narcissistic Abuse." and since then we have started working on that, and a play for my impending departure.

[havadatequila]

I highly doubt the parent of a narcissist would suggest treatment, since odds are the parent has a personality disorder, too.

[martinanderko]

I have NPD. Just looking at Diana and listening to her voice is healing me. It is realy strange, without explenation. For me the best therapiest ever existit.

[BBFCCO]

I love this explanation. It gives the narcissist insight instead of attacking them. This helps me understand a parent a lot better.

[E.K.]

Narcissists also go to therapy to learn social cues i.e.to improve their ability to manipulate others.

[TowannaLoweHarris-Realtor]

The narc has to genuinely want to be better otherwise they’ll just lie to and manipulate the counselor.

[KatieLesnick]

Your description is my ex who ghosted me two months ago. He’s 39, isolated, and alone. He can’t cry and turns to video games to avoid. He is in therapy though.