Why you should never pressure/guilt someone to marry you

I am seeing a trend where women are pressuring their boyfriends to marry them. What century are we in? i am appalled that this is still going on. Sure, your biological clock might be ticking, and you may actually be able to guilt him to walk down the aisle. But what if he wakes up 10 months or 10 years from now and realizes that he really doesn't want to be married to you?

[avigailbc]

I was pressured in to getting married, and know I am traumatized from anything to do with marriage...

[noexitnoproblem]

I was guilt tripped into marriage. It didn't end well :/

[rock]

It's simple really.  When you pressure anyone into doing anything, you put them right off the idea.  They're left with this bitter taste in their mouth regarding whatever it is they're being pressured into, and they'll never want to do it.  Live and let live and let people go at their own pace, not at the pace you want them to go, or else you run the risk of being despised by them forever.

[killavanilla]

oh my god yes, more women and old school families need to realize this

[Nihilanth]

this is common in indian culture - emotional blackmailing and guilt tripping. i have to live with this crap everyday and it just sucks.

[billhosko]

Ok... Hugs to you from a gay man, masculine, stable met a guy - slowly getting to know him, can tell he's closeted... 4-year girlfriend pressured him into getting married. Poor guy. Most can tell he's not the happiest he should be in his lifetime. Your advice is so solid. Cheers

[backwardzhatguy]

Finally. I needed to hear this. I thought it was al my fault and I should feel like her. But I don’t. Thanks for this perspective. It’s rare someone is somewhat on the mans side.

[GrayTimber]

Why would you guilt someone into marrying you? This is still happening? Men do it, too, by the way. No where near as much, but some do it, too. It's appalling to see ANYONE guilt-tripping another into getting legally bound to them. It's also stupid, short-sighted, and, honestly, kinda controlling. Never guilt someone. The lightest you'll get is them realizing they never wanted it, the heaviest is them resenting you for forcing them to do things they don't want.

[dragoon]

I’ve been with my partner 7 years we are not engaged. I’m not bothered never have been I don’t want kids either. I know how dare a woman not want kids it’s something I get chew for 24/7 . Not off my boyfriend but people in general. God forbid we are just happy as we are. The worst are other women who just cannot accept I don’t want kids and don’t care about getting married. Your right what century are we in it’s ridiculous 😂😂.

[michaelalvarado]

Thank you so much Marie and God Bless you always!

[DaGleese]

I think the advice to walk away depends how long you've been together prior to wanting to marry. For example, my girlfriend is pressuring me after knowing her for 1 month... Well I told her not to do that, and I'll decide in my own time, but if she walks away I'm not gonna chase her, I don't know her well enough for that. It'll just be a confirmation to me that she is too impulsive and impatient.

[hoasam]

You described every girls out there who wants to settle down because they want say their married. except for me, I love my freedom and single hood. 🎉🥳🎊.

[mariedubuque]

Michael, you won't know until you actually start really talking to her and getting to know her better. And don't let the age or background difference affect you. You might actually be surprised at how well it works out. Good luck!

[MrOmak]

that's exactly what's happening to me. It's really annoying that it's stressing me out

[mariedubuque]

Gretelforest, very well put. Thank you!

[Jsmtjso]

I'm a gay man, so no excuse of having a biological clock unfortunately 😅
But damn, am I guilty of this. I just get in these moods sometimes where I really really want to be married. Honestly, I just got off of Facebook after searching through my friend's list finding any engagement or wedding posts, and put them in a collection called "bf's guilt collection" Then I searched "how to guilt your boyfriend into marriage" and found your video. Low key, I kind of hate that you're right, but you are right. I don't want to force his hand, but I honestly can't see myself wanting to be with anyone else. If I don't marry him, I don't see myself marrying at all, he's that perfect. I just really wish marriage was as important to him as it is to me. I don't want to make the same mistakes I feel my parents made, one of them I feel was getting married and having kids at too old of an age to really fully engage with them. Also, I know it's probably wrong to feel this way, but I can't help worrying that if I did get married at say 40 or something (I'm 25 now) people might wonder what was "wrong" with me? Or if people saw us celebrating a low number anniversary in our 40's they might think less of us. Like we had gone through multiple marriages before or something.
Do you have any suggestions with how to deal with the anxiety of seeing your friends and family getting married up while you're still just dating? I'm really afraid of being one of those people that stays in a relationship with someone, holding out hope that they'll finally marry you, just to be strung along for 10+ years with nothing to show for it.

[nachatanson]

Marie, could you do a video about what to do if a friend disregards your feelings and doesn't treat you well.

[michaelalvarado]

Hello Marie, There is a lady that I like but there is one thing. I come from a large family of 10 and she is an only child. I am in my forties and she is in her fifties. She is independent and successful. If I decide to pursue her, what can I expect from her and how would that affect our friendship or relationship?

[OGNuoT]

im in a hs relationship and i just feel so much pressure idek y i feel like im to young and i just dont want to break her heart and if i break up with her ill feel guilty that i did something wrong

[tlonggt]

Hey Marie!
I have a question about dating someone who doesn't want children or to get married. I know I want those things, and my boyfriend is clear that he doesn't but we are young (20). Is it silly to think that later in life, when he is older, he might change his mind? Is it silly to even be thinking of these things right now? I feel like if I like someone and enjoy their company, I should date them even if I don't see myself marrying them in the future, but am I wasting my time?