Consequences of Over Protected Children- Jordan Peterson

About Jordan Peterson:
Jordan Bernt Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto.

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[miketacos]

"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." -Bruce Lee

[ballinspalding]

My parents protected me TOO much. Now I'm 24 and have immense anxiety about entering the real world

[doloresvangaal]

I've been overprotected all my life. I didn't learn to take care of myself since recently. I did not know how to solve problems and to deal with hardships and failure. When I was 'thrown in the world' I felt like a baby, I didn't know how to manage anything. Other children, who were raised more independently, knew how to deal with hardship and failure much easier. I just developed a huge fear of failure that haunted me throughout my life.

[jackconnor]

Couldn't agree more.
My parents were overprotective when I lived with them and never wanted me to do stuff by myself. Even some totally basic no brain stuff.
I only realized how bad it was once I moved to a different country to study at a college.
Once you live all by yourself you get more freedom, but at the same time more responsibility. Neither of which i was used to. It took me about 2 years to fully adapt to this way of life.

Pain really does make you mature quickly and teach you the ways of life.

[massojupiter]

So essentially, as much as people are trying to get rid of hardship, hardship creates the best people.

[skiewietjie]

There is one thing my dad taught me that sticks with me to this day. He said that you should raise your children so that other people will also like them, not just you.

[wintersknight]

Both my parents were insanely over-protective, i wasn't allowed to make friends or go anywhere without their supervision. It was even to a point where i wasn't allowed to go for walks around the neighborhood because they were scared i might get murdered by a serial killer, which is weird since we lived in an extremely safe neighborhood. I remember being really excited about going to college because i thought i'd finally have freedom but when my parents found out i was applying to out of state schools they started freaking out about how they didn't want me to die or become a drug addict so i ended up going in-state instead but i had to carpool with my dad to and from campus everyday and they'd keep calling me throughout the day to make sure i was where i was supposed to be. The amount of stress they were putting on me and the fact that i had absolutely no control over any aspect of my life caused my mental health to take an extreme nosedive until i ended up dropping out of school. I think every aspect of my life has been crippled because of how over-protective they still are, though i am trying to salvage my future. But it's really hard since they're still just as over-protective

[cathyphillips]

We had an only child - a boy. We had exchange students and encouraged our son to play sports. He loved sports and being on teams with kids he wouldn't choose to be friends with. This toughened him up much like siblings. He also had coaches he didn't like - we used that as a lesson about having bosses you might not like later in life. We let him ride his bike all over town. We limited screen time and encouraged playing music. We involved him in Habitat fir Humanity - he saw how people can work to lift up a family in need. He actually enjoyed learning how to build houses and became an engineer.

[DanielIles]

The mistakes my parents made really shaped me into a better person. I know some kids who were prevented from making any mistakes as kids so they mess everything up now

[jerads.]

I’m actually about to have my first kid, it was not planned at all, and while me and the mother are still together and very happy, we only met 5 months before she got pregnant. She’s 18, and I’m 20, I never imagined having a kid this young. But once she decided that she wanted to keep it, I knew that there was nothing to do other than step up and make the most of it. Now I can’t wait to meet my baby, everything I do now is for that child. Not me. It’s very odd how having a kid can just change your entire outlook on life.

[tomf]

he's describing my 60 year old aunt perfectly who still needs her mommy to do everything for her at 87.

[pamelaquinn]

Wow yes. I believe this 100%. I adopted my daughter. She was so wanted and precious. I was older. 30 years of age. I.did everything for her. I always stopped her making mistakes thinking I was helping. She had everything I could give her. I gave her all my time and put her first in everything. Because she was adopted I tried to make up for it by always bring kind and understanding. She never suffered unfairness. I know now this didnt prepare her for life. On the other hand I was the youngest of three. Two older brothers and I was often punished for the things they did. I learnt life wasnt fair but that was a good lesson. My Mother was a wonderful lady but was often short of time so we did a few chores ect
I spoilt my daughter and I realise now that wasnt good parenting even though it was driven by love. She dosnt speak to me now. I brought her daughter up until 3 and a half. Gave up my job. I never resented it . I only ever wanted the best for her. Apparently I'm not a good enough Mother or Grandmother. I think now. The easier you make your child's life the less they appreciate you. Dont make my mistakes. Your child will respect you more if they have to work a little at their own lives.

[TRM]

"Easier" does not always equal "better". In fact, I've found it rarely does.

[akamaster]

The worst kind of parent is the ones that try to control your life.

[bree]

my parents overprotected the heck out of me and my siblings. now we all have social anxieties, are socially awkward, and are immensely struggling while dealing with work and studies. what's worse is that after years of holding down our necks, our parents suddenly want us to be independent WHILE still being overprotective. what's worse is that I don't think they know that they are overly strict and kinda emotionally abusive... I wanna get my siblings outta this situation but I know that the guilt tripping will follow me everywhere until I give up eventually...

[fitri]

Had an emotionally abusive narc mother and an overprotective controlling father. You can imagine the mess I’m in now that I’ve entered my 30s. Still single, living with parents, quit job due to inability to manage stress, and now trying to figure out how to crawl out from this hole I’ve fallen into. To parents or would be parents, please don’t abuse your children, don’t overprotect them, give them a childhood that they won’t need to spend years healing from later on in life

[tvojslauf]

My three sons cook, clean, do laundry, bring in firewood, cut the grass etc.
They’re responsible for remembering their gear for sports.
I made them tie their own shoes and dress themselves as soon as they were able.
I don’t solve problems FOR them, I help them solve their own problems.
I’ve been accused of being too hands off with my kids....until people see them around other kids. Some kids (teenagers) these days can’t cross the street on their own. 🤦🏻‍♂️

[jasonomnia]

Damn, even at a young age Peterson's daughter learned to cleaned her room.

[lesleyhubble]

I’m 61 and was the middle child of 3, often felt worthless round strangers as a teenager. I was overprotected and was scared of everything. I left home at 33 then met my husband and had my daughter at 42. I looked back and made sure my kid was allowed to mix and go out, yes I was full of fear but she has grown to be very independent at 19; she was as a little girl. I think getting them to mix with other children is the key when they’re an only child and you have to let them go

[Anonymous-zjkq]

I felt this.
I am currently 21 and my parents over protected the shit out of me all in the name of safety. I appreciate them for it but right now, I really can't do anything on my own.

I am currently in University and even if I tell my dad I wanted to stay behind for the break, he would get pissed at me and stop talking to me for questioning his authority.
I am Nigerian and parents are really big on respect here but I feel like he is not allowing me to find life for myself.
He just wants me to keep doing what he wants when he wants and I am getting sick of it.