What to do if your Voice is too Loud

In this video, I answer the question: "People tell me I talk too loud. What do I do?"

I start by talking about why your voice is likely coming out more loudly than it needs to. It comes down to you thinking you need to work harder than you actually do to be heard, and that manifests in pushing the breath out too forcefully.

I often find that trying to address this issue by thinking about volume isn't so helpful-- often thinking about volume just makes you pull back on your voice, potentially causing you to be too quiet. Then, people ask you to speak up, and the only choice you have is to go back to the original habit of pushing your voice out too forcefully, and the cycle continues.

So instead of thinking about volume, I talk in this video about how, if your voice is too loud, it's important to get more intentional about who you're talking to. This starts with two types of listening:

1. listening to the body language of who you're talking to. Are they pulling away from you? This is likely a sign that you are speaking too loud.

2. a listening to your own body as you talk. A vocal push is accompanied by a physical push. I look at alternative body language that can help you start from a more grounded, centered place.

If you're doing this listening and still speaking too loudly, it's likely because you're not being specific about who you're talking to and where they are physically in relation to you, so your body doesn't exactly know what to do and that leads to a generalized push. I talk about a way you can be more specific with your intention to communicate.

Let me know how it goes! Speaking too loudly can be just as detrimental to the communication situation as speaking too quietly, as it can be difficult to find intimacy and connection if the person or people you’re talking to are feeling overwhelmed by your sound. Practice these skills and you will see a difference in your relationships, both personal and professional.

If you need more personalized coaching or have other questions you'd like to have featured on one of these videos, feel free to reach out. If you’re enjoying these videos, please subscribe to my YouTube channel.

[penguineeee]

I'm a really loud talker and people have been saying it's annoying, i don't ever notice it though. 😭

[eadydafanbozz]

People saying I'm too loud hurts alot for some reason

[ashacutie]

Feels good here in the comments to see m not alone. 🥺 I was a very reserved kid in my childhood; so quiet that people would find boring as they were too loud back then. Now that my voice gets louder especially when I speak on phone (aftereffects of talking quietly early years and the other person couldn't hear properly) I only realized lately how loud I've become 😭 That's why I prefer texts : 1) To avoid people lol 2) one might feel m being agitated over phone as I get loud when excited or stressed 3) I work in my room mostly so a quiet house echoes a lot!
I am practicing to be calmer when I talk, though I am a calm person who doesn't really talk a lot😐 I just need to control my emotions a lot. Hope that helps✌️

[Gospel_Tijesunimi]

I have a really loud voice and sometimes I don't know how loud it until people tells me 😭😭

[olivepea]

i’m very insecure about how loud i speak, i can’t control it though and everybody makes comments about it

[pastel_x_bba]

Thank you so much for this my friends won’t stop telling me I’m loud and starts laughing and make me wanna cry Ik that’s dramatic but I’m already super emotional and insecure about my body, appearance and voice etc. My hearing isn’t great either and when im sick my hearing gets worse and like 25% of my hearing is gone leaving me with like 75% of my hearing i think( I didn’t get it checked but it just very obvious to me) sometimes people get angry saying that I’m too loud. I try not to cry and when I’m home or in a private place I’ll cry my heart out cuz it’s just too much if one person says it another would agree and laugh and make me uncomfortable and feel super guilty too.😢

[jakobwermelin]

You have a beautiful speaking voice.

Thanks for the tips, I'll try to tone it down!

[that_one_guy]

Thanks for this video, really helpful. I usually speak out loud and don’t realise it.

[LegionMEEnjoyer]

Hello my fellow loud voice owners; I understand your struggles. We are not alone.

[elenAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH]

This is perfect, now people will like me! Thanks!

[DianaCarvajal]

I've been looking for solutions to this problem around the internet and I feel (and hope) your video is the one that will help me. I'm a teacher but not in a school, I teach English in a language academy where you have 6 students in a very small classroom and there are many classrooms next to each other, all of them full at the same time. The air conditioner is not good, it gets hot so a lot of us don't close the door. I've gotten comments (some very hurtful) that they hear me even in the farthest rooms and I don't want to get in the way of my coworkers doing their job. It's lowering my self stem. I've realized that maybe the problem is because I really get immersed into the class and get excited and want to make my students feel energetic so the class is engaging and that's when I talk too loud without noticing at the moment. Thanks for this video, I will apply your strategies!

[vanessaodua]

I certainly agree with her. Thank you so much this was so helpful. I'm glad I watched your video.

[erinpalmer]

I was raised by a hard-of-hearing stepfather and a loud-talking mother, which has probably influenced the volume of my speaking voice. Some people (but certainly not all) complain that my voice is too loud. I’ve even had a couple of strangers on planes tell me to speak more softly. However, I’ve also read that some people have a high sensitivity to noise so perhaps this is why they think I’m too loud. I do my best to soften my voice and I don’t want to offend others but I think it’s rude for a stranger to make such a comment in front of others. It’s very embarrassing and hurtful.

[CaptainActually]

No one has ever complained about my voice being too loud, except my mom and sister, who are just as loud, and are probably the reason I've had to speak loudly my whole life.

[Demure]

I really don’t like it when people say that it makes me feel like I don’t want to converse at all . :/

[robinnoel]

When I was under 16 :
People : Robin you really need to talk louder.
After 16 :
People : Robin stop being so loud.
Not gonna lie puberty smacked my voice lmao.

[AP-fbrg]

Both of parents were hard of hearing, (they required hearing aids in order to hear). I suspect this could be the root of my high volume.

[chaospxnda]

This was really helpful and has a lot of good information. I will definitely be trying these techniques when interacting with others.

[daisyfigueroa]

Thanks for this info- I needed this so bad

[nayelizombie]

I'm loud and I talk too much, it makes people uneasy, i want to learn how to be quieter