What To Do If You’re The Toxic One In Your Relationship

Do you feel like you're the toxic one in your relationship? If so, don't worry - you're not alone. In this video, I'm going to share some tips on how to deal with that feeling and start creating a healthier relationship for both yourself and your partner.

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Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

[hellgavampenstein]

I think every person has sign of toxicity. You don't have to be narcisist or psychopath to have toxic behaviour. We all have problems and that is normal thing. The key is to be aware of it and learn to work on it to improve Yourself and be a better person. I'm glad there are people who are aware of themselves. ❤

[k-rosebouvier]

It took me 58yrs to understand how I attracted toxic people. It's been an eye opener. I identified the part I was playing as well. I then forgave myself and I've moved on. I'm excited about this video and I hope younger folks see it and are able move from toxic people.

[roannathephoenix]

I've realized that I was a toxic person but have worked very hard on changing my approach to life. I've never felt that because something good happened to someone that it's negative for me. It's been more about if I worked or did better good things will happen for me as well. That being said having been put down all my life and treated like a burden or that I was never good enough made me look at other people's faults to make myself feel better...never to their face but that toxic behavior was still there. I'm trying to change that and be more empathetic to the fact that idk what's going on in other's lives and have no business passing judgment because I know how hurtful that feels. It's been a long road of self discovery but it's a marathon not a sprint so I try and work on it everyday.

[dinieldelaware]

I was DEFINITELY the toxic person in the relationship and always burning Bridges I could never understand why. I made it my life mission to understand why and turns out I have autism. I started a YouTube channel to help others & channel my emotions it's really been helpful

[EmmaHotchkin]

I really believe that awareness is key. Neurodivergant folk do struggle with moods and this can be taken as “toxic” when they are self aware and trying their best

[brantorrence]

I come from a very traumatic childhood, and on, so I know I could use a ton of help. I've made improvements but not as much as I like. My biggest problem is availability. I can't afford the help and the help that is available to the poor is just really bad in my area Thank you for making these videos.

[dragonflymagictarot]

My toxic trait is trying to solve everything and trying to fix everything right away, and not giving a person enough time to think or process. If I had a bad day, which isn’t common, my energy is off and I needed time but didn’t give a person who I love time.

[pathicalstar]

I love how this video gets less views because it’s so difficult to almost impossible to take accountability as being narcissistic or toxic.

[pityparty]

Availability of counseling is problematic. Takes months to get the first appointment. Then it takes months to accomplish progress. Then you have to pay for it. Testing various medications is torture. This my real life experience.

[sharibowers]

Thank you Dr. Marks! I was raised by toxic parents (have every one of the 10 traits listed) and it has taken me years to "undo" this early learning pattern. I have struggled with my relationships and friendships as people have often told me I'm either "mean or narcissistic" when really I am just being who I was taught to be. This video is very helpful to identify the ways I still need to change.

[TeamCat]

“…a normal response to being around idiots.” Haha!

[juicyfruit]

Hey, Get out my business lady 🤨
Thanks for this video. I needed it

[freeexpress]

When I saw the notification for this video, I immediately thought, Dr. Marks please tell me if I am the problem. I have entered a deeper state of self-awareness and want to be conscious of how I react in and handle day-to-day situations.

[sabesaw]

I wanted to work on some toxic traits I had with a therapist. But instead of helping me work through them she told me I sound mean. She did ask some helpful questions, but she often said very judgemental things and the calling me mean was the last straw. Ironically the toxic trait I wanted to work on was how judgemental I can be. Luckily I'm able to see my old therapist again and she is wonderful

[SweetBlackSistah]

Going to show this to my 16 year old so she can recognize dusty & toxic folk.

Thanks Doc!

[itsjustrust]

Thank you for this. I sent it to my partner in order to hopefully start a dialogue. I would love to see you expand on how trauma/PTSD play into toxic relationship dynamics.. especially if both people in the relationship have trauma and toxic traits & behaviors.

Of course it’s a complicated subject, and certainly beyond the scope of a single video to fully explore, but I’d still be interested to hear your thoughts. You always provide clarity on these issues.

[Viberiderz]

After another “rejection “ I’ve realised I’m quite toxic. Have made an appointment with a therapist. Looking forward to being able to have deeper relationships and understanding. Thanks for this video.

[tammyg]

Dr. Tracy is absolutely brilliant. You can really tell she loves what she does. Exceptional.

[BoyMama]

YES!!! I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist and this is spot on!! Figuring out the why and then how to change it is a difference from first order changed to second order change. Second order change is the more long lasting permanent effects of therapy. I would highly recommend finding a therapist who does Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or has a degree specifically in marriage and family therapy if you are looking to help your relationship. ❤ I loved when you said that if they recognize that they are this person they are already a good step in the right direction. This is so true!! Far too many people don’t realize they are that person until it’s too late. ❤

Also- for couples- read (or listen to) the book “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson. Read it WITH your partner!

[hugoalvord]

Thank you so much for these. I was raised by a parent who was really critical and isolating, and growing past the results of that has been difficult for me; watching your videos is really helpful for me and, hopefully as I grow, the people in my life ❤