What to Do if Your Husband or Wife Has Mental Health Issues

Anxiety, depression, addiction and other mental health issues can lead to challenges or even hopelessness for one or both spouses in a marriage. Dr. Benzio, board-certified psychiatrist, explains how to show care and compassion to your spouse as you walk through the journey to healing.

"Mental Health in Marriage" is a 5-part series providing practical tools and strategies to tackle behavioral health issues in your marriage. Dr. Benzio is a board-certified psychiatrist, the co-founder of Honey Lake Clinic – a residential Christian facility for mental health, mood disorder and addiction treatment. He is also a member of Focus on the Family's Physicians Resource Council and is on the Senior Leadership Team at Liberty University’s Global Center for Mental Health, Addiction, and Recovery. He also works as a consultant and advisor to the Mental Health Initiative.

Read
Hope for a Marriage Challenged by Mental Illness

When Your Spouse Is Depressed

Warning Signs that Your Spouse Has Mental Health Issues

Get free resources or speak to a counselor
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[hairlessharescrambler]

My wife has depression and anxiety and so do I, I met the best woman of my life 5 years ago 7 months ago we married, I never knew she was suffering inside as badly as she was, out of the blue while I was at work she told me not to come home that everything is over, it was devastating I thought things were great between us, I stayed with a family member for a few weeks then found out she had taken 3 bottles full of sleeping pills trying to commit suicide, I wasn't allowed to go in to the hospital to heck on her and that was devastating as well, I sat in my vehicle for 5 days out in the parking lot worried sick about her until they released her then I went home, she only talked to me once since then and told me that no one came to see her and no one cared, she don't know that I was there the entire time just outside worried about her but wasn't allowed inside, we're still married but I haven't seen or talked to her in months and its been really difficult to not see or hear from her, she is the love of my life my family my best friend and my world, mental illness is a terrible thing, I tried everything to make her happy every day but nothing seemed to help, I suffer with depression myself and she was the only cure for me, it was a blessing getting to wake up next to her every day for the time that I did and I'm grateful for that

[serenakaye]

My husband sleeps all day only eats cornflakes he refuses to do anything as in bath change cloths. I can't live this way.and I can't make him go doctor

[ConsueloConjure]

Bless you all in here for wanting the best for our loved ones. Even when it sounds like they have lost sight of what’s healthiest for them

[bcarp]

First off your partner needs to be willing to meet you halfway and work through issues. Without that, you don't have a foundation for building up😢

[Frank-eddb]

My wife has no compassion towards me and also doesn’t make me feel safe thank you

[sharonkosters]

i tried hugging him and he wouldnt. he stiffened up and refused to talk to me with the exception of verbally attacking me for reasons he created

[arianamoreno]

Im late here but my husband makes anxiety worse for me. When i feel an attack comjng, he usually says "not again!" Or "again?!!" And then makes me feel bad for having an anxiety attack that i dont tell him anything anymore. I trust my friend more.

[Manni-ljcy]

In other words, contort yourself into another person, no longer be your authentic self, and live in servitude to an abuser.

[jessyjonas]

It depends on the issue
If the person is being violent/abusive
simply saying I want to be your companion/lover is not advisable for either
Appropriate intervention is needed
To protect/ care for both parties

Thanks for the attention
It is much needed

[atuhuracarol]

Let’s form a group maybe we can advise one another. Guys I don’t know. Mental health is deadly!

[leonaleona]

Don't say 10 years later, that you raised the kids by yourself. The person knows that they weren't totally available during their depression. It doesn't take away from all they did before and after.

[justaskmike]

My wife is driving me insane and won't get help!

[sarrahconley]

My husbands mental health is making it where he can't work. He doesn't want to talk about things. He has been going to therapy. Nothing seems to improve. I have tried to use positivity with hugging and positive conversation. I'm going to therapy with him next month. I can handle alot. But the not working now is bothering me after he finished an electrical engineering degree.

[johnnyp]

Every situation is different. Especially when they think you are against them. When are you do is show love and care. They tell lies on you to their friends, so now I look like bad guy. So that support system is gone. Then they refuse to get treatment or any kind of therapy, so now that's out the window. Sometimes they enjoy the hugs and sometimes they just want you to go away.

If you disagree with them, they can get verbally abusive or yet dissappear for weeks to a month, come back like nothing happened. I will say, if the person is treated before getting in a relationship, then they shouldn't be in one. It's not the other party job to fix someone. Do not date anyone with mental illness, it's draining financially, physically, spiritually and mentally.

[deniser]

I need help, my husband has severe mental illness and he is in total denial, he also has a drug and alcohol addiction, he reads the bible amd prays with us but yet he is so blinded and makes excuses on why is okay for him to drink, what do I supposed to do?? I feel so lost, today I told him that we need to divorce we have been through so much heartache over this, pls Lord help me and show me what do I need to do?😢

[mahaali]

My husband has autism and had a bad episode which became physically abusive and now he’s left. Not sure what’s going to happen. He’d never admit he had an issue or needed help 😭😭😭

[Geronimou]

This is valuable information, but I am also seeing many caring husbands who are enabling their wives illness and enabling them to stay in sick mode.
Control issue at times, due to personality issue of well partner,
I feel the well partner is not encouraging the healing of sick partner and sick partner is comfortable staying in victim mode, which is also a way to control. Usually controlling or narcissistic husbands are doing this, who are not focusing on their own self.

[Thor_]

I’ve been living with it for about 3 years now and getting worse by the day and won’t get help either.

[brightpage]

If he won’t go for help and is increasingly paranoid about medical system? If he seems depressed and increasingly controlling?

[IrisMary]

What if your husband is compassion fatigued and has been dealing with this for 10+ years . He's over it but my childhood trauma won't go away. It's worse now that we have 3 children. I'm told I'm damaging my children. What do I do