Is My Parent A Narcissist?

Kati, can you talk about Narcissistic abusive parents and how to cope. (I believe I found this question below my 3 types of narcissists video). Before we get into to how to best cope, there are a few things I want to discuss first. Number one, when we grow up with a narcissistic parent what we struggle with most is emotional neglect. This happens most commonly when a parent is a narcissist because they always put their own needs ahead of their child’s. Remember Narcissism is when we demonstrate a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and have a lack of empathy. So having a child isn’t something we can emotionally do (or at least not healthfully). And if we need a lot of admiration and have to feel important, being a parent to a baby and child couldn’t be farther from that. If we grew up with a parent who was narcissistic, this could mean that they weren’t able to do anything more than keep us alive. Forget the cuddles, patience when we were upset, or even them trying to figure out what was causing us to cry. If a narcissistic parent became embarrassed by their child, they could lash out at their child or even their spouse. Therefore, this could mean that as a child you were possibly emotionally or physically abused or at least neglected in many ways....

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If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[madisyncarter]

I really appreciate how you say “we” instead of “they” or “you” in your videos. It just feels more inclusive like it’s not just me.

[SF-kczv]

I have a narcissistic mother who is very emotionally abusive, and I experienced a lot of emotional incest and manipulation growing up. The biggest tip I have for someone who is going through something similar is BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES. You have every right to protect yourself. You might be feeling guilty and obligated to be their therapist, but that is NOT your job. It’s THEIR job to find an appropriate outlet for their issues. If they don’t respect a boundary, cut off contact. In my experience, if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile, and try to bulldoze any and all boundaries you set to protect yourself. I haven’t spoken to my mother in 4 years because she is incapable of respecting my boundaries and stop the emotional incest. I had to become my own mental health security guard, and even though it sucks sometimes, I feel much safer now. I didn’t realize how incredibly unsafe I felt around her at all times until I cut off contact with her.

[mitak]

I didn’t know that there was a word to describe the way my mother raised me

[sufii]

Katy saying "welcome!" is the cutest thing in the world

[pirateninjaunicorn]

If you're stuck with a toxic or narcissistic mother during family gatherings or holidays, bring a plus one. Your partner, maybe your best friend. I have the feeling that especially mothers are really keen on keeping the appearance of a kind and loving mother when others are watching.

[duen-wayneogilvie]

My dad seems to feel the need to always remind me that everything he does is for me. It is usually out of no where and for things that have nothing to do with me. I don’t know why he does it but it often makes me feel guilty

[dayana]

"is my parent a narcissist ?"

yes

no further questions

[CarterSams]

I want to wish anyone with n parents love, hope, healing, joy, and peace. You can do it and you are WORTHY. I love you. One thing at a time. One thing at a time.

[krystal]

Both of my parents are narcissists. For my well being I went no contact. There is such a stigma around estrangement. Most people see my parents as the victims because they play that role. Thank you for talking about this! It’s really validating. ❤️

[chattygills]

Get away and remember you don’t need to earn their approval. You’ll never get it.

[katyrobson]

This video is so specific and so accurate for my situation omg

[SeLAnDDeMiFaN]

This. This video hit so close to home. I literally sat here and cried. I felt SO VALIDATED watching this. I’m 23 years old, and my mother STILL treats me as if I’m a child. I’m insignificant to her, and I’m a pawn to her. I longed for a mother who cared for so so long in my life, but I had to learn that my mother isn’t capable to express love. She’s skillfully built a wall around her and her life. We are all playing a role in her movie where she’s the star. I had to come to terms with the fact that my mother might love me, but in some weird way. Kati, you are incredible and thank you so much for making this video. You have no idea how many people this could help.

[awakeafter]

Are you stalking me Kati? 😂🤣I swear I googled this 12 hours ago. Thank you... right on time!

[aetherdemigod]

Looks like I gotta leave my parents. I really think both of them are narcissists, but my mom is WAY more narcissistic than my dad. They are manipulative and have guilt tripped me multiple times. I am also being mentally abused. I can never tell them about me bcos they're never emotionally there and like I've been distant. I hope if I do have children, I don't become a narcissist or anything bad bcos I want my children to have the greatest time of their lives and I want to be a good parent💕

[Katimorton]

Hey everone! I'm speaking on a panel today and will only be able to jump into the comments / questions later tonight. xoxo K

[Godlywoman]

I'm moving away and cutting contact in a couple months.

[bellawilson]

I grew up with a narcissistic father, and as I've entered my adult life in college things have become increasingly difficult. I'm constantly second guessing my abilities and talents as a student and the constant anxiety I'm going to fail hasn't gone away. The best advice I can give is to get out of the toxic relationship, seek out therapy, and learn to love and accept yourself. I've learned to cope by understanding I am the only one limiting myself and that my father no longer has a hold on my emotional well being. It is a long and difficult process but so worth it <3

[teawithtiana]

To everyone going through this, I promise it gets better. You will come out stronger than you thought you ever could. I’m rooting for you 💕

[kalyriewells]

Ive never said Yes internally so loud in my life

[ShaneBlackheart]

"You may not even trust your own sanity or your own perception of certain experiences" oh my god, I haven't related to a video more. My parents constantly make it sound like I'm lying or that they don't remember doing things, or that I'm only remembering bad things that weren't even that big of a deal. They tell me that 'people say things they don't mean all the time' and my mom always acts like 'well you walked into that abusive relationship so...' She gaslights me about EVERYTHING. If I confront her about something she's done that was abusive and I prove what I said is correct, she just attacks me and acts like a hurt victim. I cut them out of my life (I'm 30 now, so I can). These videos about abuse and gaslighting, and narcissists and parents in general have helped to validate me so much. Thank you, Kati.