Silence Makes Your Ex Desperate (Here's The Proof)

A few years ago
I asked a simple question to the members of my private community,
“I’m working on creating a video on the power of silence and I need real life examples of freakouts by exes during the no contact rule.”

89 people responded with wild stories,

Like an ex admitting to starting fights just to get our clientto talk to them
Or sending a gif in a text saying “I will not be ignored”
Or by starting out sending rude/hateful messages and then doing a complete turnaround 27 days later.

But nothing...and I mean nothing stood out to me more than this comment,

Where this woman said her ex called her 72 times in 5 days over facebook messenger and then literally goes on to give a day by day breakdown of how it all played out.

So, what is going on here? Is this normal?

Well, that's what we are going to explore today.

[awakenedmind]

Mine reached out after 2 weeks on No contact. He wanted to demote me from Gf to friends w benefit . I said HELL NO. thank god my dignity and pride still intact 💪

[warriorhealer]

If you are an anxious attachment style person, never let an avoidant partner disrespect you. That's when they think they can get away with anything and they will imply the no contact rule every now and then.

[walkertranger]

IF YOU ARE A DISMISSIVE OR FEARFUL AVOIDANT….
Please GET help ! Thank you .

[hansmartin]

So, first of all. You reading this - if you feel that your partner was the one and you struggle with your Daily life while being in no contact you are in a addiction. You have to ask yourself - was this real love between two individuals or is it that you "love" them and they stepped away? AhA! You have a anxious attachment. You need to push thru the pain and do your homework so you can handle your emotions. There is steps to follow for the anxious attachments and how to heal yourself. You need to reset your emotions and feelings so you can be more of an secure attachment. The Avoidant individual was not so special if you think about it. They smiled when you did something nice to them and if you were Intimate you had a good sexual relationship. But remember that they discarded you without recognizing your feelings and in worst cases already have been with other individuals due to pushing away those small feelings they had for you.



Heal yourself and set up boundries from the beginning. If you want your ex back you need to be more secure and strong - you need to be prepared and ready to leave if your boundries are broken and you will leave asap.

Do No contact - Rise and shine. You are strong, i believe in you.

[kittydoggyMeow]

Yes and out of reach to the avoidant. When a person gets married, or begins a new relationship or takes a new BIG step in their life. Then it is to late to re-connect literally because why would someone let go of all the new positive steps they took to improve their life after having been "ghosted" and treated like shit.

[Candlelight]

Taking avoidant back is like asking a scorpion that bit you do it again. Paying for it is even dumber.

[angstrom]

Oh, my... My story beats the example you gave.... I separated from a borderline who went berserk. Phones, texts, emails, probably near 1000. In one night, I got 77 additional texts while I slept. She was ringing the house phone, my cell, back and forth for hours, days, ... This went on for months and yes, YEARS. Sure don't want this ex back. LOL. Thank god it has quieted down about 7 years later. :o

[nataliabusko]

I'm sorry but tying to get your ex through no contact for 10 months and STILL not getting over them is OBSESSION. Those people need therapy, may be even medical help from specialist.

[Greyblueprint]

I think (or maybe even know) I’m an avoidant… my ex is anxious. After 6 yrs, we broke up 11 months ago but completely cut the cord 12/31/23. It’s been months. I’m putting in the work but I know she won’t be back. She’s the love of my life… I’d love to know more about anxious attachments. This page is primarily focused on the avoidant. I’m looking for help everywhere I can. I got the Attachment book and workbook. I guess my comment is to say, avoidants are trying and we do care. We do love. I hope u all r finding peace through letting go. I’m trying…

[philipramsden]

Mine just reached out to me today after she ghosted and blocked me 4 months ago... I honestly didn't even know how to respond lol

[mariannadermarkarian]

There should be a study on avoidants to see whether they missed or felt a sense of loss and then what percentage of those reached out versus swallowed it and kept moving on.

[dishanknayal]

The last part when you said " that my clients expect a quote from me..." and how we need something that we care about as much as our ex...that stuff for some reason was one of the manliest advice ever..awesome stuff!

[thiswonderfullandpenwithco]

I can relate to this so much. I'm a "bit" of an over-thinker and have come up with all you've talked about in my head while actually taking time out to move on .
I like your delivery . See it from both sides and the trails and tribulations and my role in the relationship demise, because I really want to know the bigger picture .

[brandonmontemayor]

I went into no contact. Ended up learning and growing, detaching, healing and started dating again. I realized how I deserved so much better and that I don’t want her again. But still, with my birthday in a few days, I’m curious if she’ll reach out. Went from not seeing her at all for 6 months to now seeing here almost daily. She’s always around for some reason which is strange. Still have reached out or said anything. Whatever love we have and I do love her, it’s not up to me to repair. My boundaries are firm and I’m happy with where my life ended up. I still think of her, still love her and I hope one day we do get a chance to chat. But it won’t be because of me.

[tracyf]

I know they are suffering. Still finding issues and distancing and it’s a pattern for them. They even agreed they have a pattern of pushing people away. Hope they enjoy their sad life of hurting people and not getting help. Run.. run fast and don’t look back. Broken people. Do yourself a favor. These people are emotional messes that don’t change even with help. Deep triggers from childhood don’t heal overnight if ever. Ways to cope maybe until their get multiple triggers and then poof. Back to their old selves. They have called me back. I answer with no emotion and hardly talk back to them. Just like they did. Works wonders. 😂 honestly sort of fun. They are obviously suffering now and now I don’t care. The universe has wonderful ways of fixing things on its own.🎉 touché ❤ babe.

[camadams]

What's the end goal here? You get back together with someone who is only capable of volatile relationships so you can amp your insecure/neurotic/anxious style up to 100 to paper over the crack in your relationship for the next 50 years? PASS

[kheicee]

i really hope he comes back even though he pushed me away. its been more than 3 weeks since we last had contact. i know i have to move on but my heart still is still clinging on to him.

[Flufero]

I don’t want my ex back. He has done no work to heal, I know. NC forever for me.

[SumanthLazarus]

The No Contact and the 3 month rule actually works, not to get your Ex back, but rather to move on and find a robust longterm partner.

[thewholeyou]

Ain't no one has 6 mths sitting around waiting for the avoidant!