Why Silence Makes Your Ex Come Back

Hi YouTube, Breakup Brad here… as I'm sure most of you already know, I've been a breakup coach for over 10 years now, helping people like you get through difficult breakups and get a second chance with an ex.

This time, we're talking about a topic that I get asked about CONSTANTLY… why SILENCE -- in other words, the "No Contact" strategy -- helps to make your ex want you back. You guys are often asking about this in the comments on my videos... my coaching clients ask about this... and so on… so, clearly it's a topic that a lot of people want to learn about. And that's why I'm dedicating this video to talking about IGNORING your ex, and why it works to get them back. Be sure to watch this video all the way to the end, as I'll be sharing some new tips that I've never talked about in any of my past videos here on YouTube.

Before we dive into the psychology of ignoring your ex, and why it works, let me quickly explain what my No Contact strategy involves. Basically, if you want to get a second chance with your ex, then one of the first things you need to do is apply a period of No Contact -- essentially, you want to ignore your ex for at least 30 days. No Contact means exactly what it sounds like -- no phone calls, no text messages, no late night booty calls, and so on. The sooner you can do this after breaking up, the better.

So, clearly, using No Contact definitely works… but why? And how?

#1 -- It keeps you from screwing up.
Most people are very, very emotional after a breakup. In my 12 years as a breakup coach, I've seen hundreds if not thousands of clients blow their chance at getting back together simply because they did or said something dumb. Simply put, most people let their emotions get the best of them in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, and end up doing something stupid -- like begging and pleading with their ex, lashing out in anger, being too clingy and needy, etc. Ignoring your ex is a simple and effective way to ensure that you don't make that same mistake.

#2 -- It gives you time to cool down and get some perspective.
Along similar lines to what I just talked about, another benefit to going silent after a breakup is that it gives you time to get a handle on your own emotions. After a month of ignoring your ex, you'll be in a much better place psychologically, and a lot less likely to get angry or break down in tears when you actually do begin speaking to your ex again. No Contact can also give you a better perspective on things -- I've had a number of clients that, after 30 days of radio silence, have decided their ex isn't actually worth pursuing and that they'd be better off moving on. Essentially, to sum it up, No Contact puts you in a much better headspace where you can think more clearly and be less influenced by your emotions.

#3 -- It acts as "shock therapy", making the breakup as difficult as possible for your ex.
Alright, now we're getting into the real psychology here. The No Contact strategy is designed specifically to "shock" your ex into learning what life is like when you're suddenly completely gone from their life.

Imagine, for a minute, losing something that you've become accustomed to having in your life. Your cell phone is maybe the best example -- we've all become used to having a smartphone in our pocket at all times, right? So imagine I tell you that you need to hand over your phone to me for 1 hour today. After that, you can have it back. But tomorrow, I'm taking your phone away for two hours. The day after that, I take it for 3 hours, and so on… until, a few weeks from now, I finally take your phone away forever.

*** More from Brad Browning:

[florencezoi]

" Heaven and earth will come to an end, but my words will not come to an end. " Jesus in Mark 13:31

[fadak]

No contact is the key 🔑 to get ur ex back trust me👍🏻

[lorahgeorge]

This is so true. He broke up with me. Just completely off the grid, for two years almost three years now. I have healed, moved on, graduated with my degree, on my way of starting a business. Few days ago he message me and now asking me if am in a serious relationship with anyone . Rhis is Satan in the midst. I am done. I am in a good place.

[AlexFarleyMusic]

This one was powerful. I was on the verge of breaking 19 days of No Contact to apologize to try and show her I've learned and growing as a person. Watching this video made me realize I'm not ready to open that line of communication yet and that No Contact is working.

Thanks Brad!

[lynnemarie]

I think the only time this would work is if someone breaks up with you because they are overly stressed about something in their life yet they care about you... However, if somebody breaks up with you it's because they don't care about you anymore or maybe they never really did in the first place. I also think it depends on how long you were actually together as well.

[suzanneslaw]

Definitely all such great advice, and so true. However NC is really important for s3lf-teflection and to seriously look at why the break up happened. If it's a toxic type of relationship, sometimes NC is the best for your personal safety and well being. Be very discerning. If the relationship is worth it and an asset to your life. Great vid Brad..havent watched in a while and this popped up so had to tune in. I'm going through this right now, and actually in a healthier more positive place! Love Light and hugs to you and all here! 💕💗💖💗💕

[bleblechuks]

I love you Brad ❤️. No contact rule is the best to get your ex crazy for you....

[raymagaa]

Hey guys, great video and points from Brad just be aware if the ex is narcissistic they might never return even with no contact, but that doesn't mean bad news, actually means good news. Why would you want to be with someone like that? Instead no contact works for you to heal and analyze if they really deserve you. If for some reason they do contact you now you are emotionally able to have a chat and make a wise decision

[ronaldjohnortilano]

Brad, you are the answer to my prayers! Now I feel more comfortable ❤️

[jasonarokiaraj]

There are some who will say that he or she is “not worth pursuing at all” and that “you’re better off moving on.” However, that’s not Brad Browning, unless something drastic happens. Brad just suggests the no-contact technique and tells us that it works so powerfully. Quick fixes will only hurt your chances. Thank you, Brad. God bless.

[cezzdankenya]

Thanx so much Brad..May God bless you..Your videos have helped me alot..I promise to watch all your videos now that I have subscribed to your channel..
You are the best coach in today's world...keep up..Am from Kenya

[djheartlust]

Brad is amazing even though I’m still in my no contact period, I have been able to gain my confidence, respect and internal happiness back. I have been able to turn my whole life around and it’s been amazing how I feel moving forward!

[hareekrish]

HI BRAD...
im actually on the no contact period now..I haven't txted or called her..The reality is the no contact period will make u strong n give u the belief u can b without them...and it might even take them out of mind..
If a person loves us they will come to us..even if v dont contact or contact ...
Wen they come to us aftr 30 days..its our choice of choosing them or not..do v need to do this much effort to get a person who dont even like us..once they hate that mind will hate us anytime in future..enjoy the world n stay strong guys..I know how it feels..everyone one of us gonna come out of this emotional cage n b happy one fine day..
Really thanks brad..

[undefined.]

i completed the no contact phase.. we're not together yet but surprisingly she responds so quick while i reply in an hour later

[ferdousshimu]

Hey Brad hope you are fine and healthy.
1st I want to thank you for your support.
In 2015 I went through my breakup with my boyfriend then I found you. Your no contact strategy worked . In 2017 we got back together and in 2018 he talked to my mom too.
We were planning to have a future as he had some health issues so we delayed.
Eveything was going well but we used to argue offently .
Recently our argument went to another level.
He got fed up arguing with me and he broke up few days ago . He said he don't want to sacrifice his whole life arguing with me our mentality doesn't match bla bla ...
He is a very good person . We are together since 5 years.
We both love each other. I'm so scared loosing him again Brad.

[commandere.]

Accurately ! They've asked for it. Let them face the consequence of his/her decision.

[leahleona]

Hi Brad. I am here today watching your videos because 8 days ago my boyfriend asked for a break out of the blue. Our relationship was amazing, so I’m completely lost. Last Saturday, we were due for a romantic getaway, that we did end up going on since we’d already paid for it. It was amazing, we felt like normal, we were intimate the whole 9. I thought maybe after the weekend his mind would be changed, but it hasnt he still wants a break. I am starting tonight with the NC Rule, and will just put this in God’s hands. He is the loml, and I know this will be the hardest thing I’ll ever do love wise, but I trust in your word and God’s will that this will work. Be back in 30 days💜

[Farmhome]

Great Message. One of best I have ever heard.

[Tluv_]

This video just gave me strength Togo no contact starting tmrw God bless you 🙏🙏🙏

[iqflsgo]

Great video. You are right . After two months of silence he finally sent a text massage. Didn't answer yet. Maybe he needs more time to feel my absence