Why A Breakup Is ALWAYS A Test By Your Ex

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A breakup is always a test from your ex even if they didn't plan for it to be.

How can that be?

Coach Lee is known for this highly-successful philosophy and explains it in this video.

The breakup is a test you must pass if you want to get back together with them because your ex will judge you based on how you respond to the breakup.

After all, it's the last meaningful contact they have with you unless the two of you get back together.

So you don't want your response to a breakup to be negative, awkward, weak, and frustrating to your ex.

What you want to be frustrating and difficult is for your ex to be without you, NOT, to be with you. So if you back off and leave your ex alone after he/she dumps you, then being around you wasn't awkward because you were begging or crying.

That way, you leave them to the next frame instead which is for them to feel the negatives of not being with you. That is so important.

Here's why:

Your ex must not like being apart from you in order to get back together with you. But if you don't leave them alone, you fail the breakup test, because your ex doesn't like being around you instead.

Obviously, the difference is tremendous. Many people overlook how important this is but with Coach Lee's help, hopefully you won't and you will be able to pass the breakup test with flying colors so that you can get your ex back long term.

[Muscleman]

This is true 100% if anyone is having doubts this will work my girlfriend whom was playing me kept breaking up, and she honestly admitted to that as well, now we broke up like 6 times and she said all the time she either can’t stand this, or can’t wait or because I don’t want to talk everyday, and I knew that wasn’t the answer, and I was cool with every breakup so I was able to pull her back by just being respectful, and now she is now not using me anymore, and is now we are never happier with each other, and I am 19 so that was hard but I was cool about it and she kept coming back.

[jubenville]

If they discard you or ghost you they’re not testing you like what’s being described by Lee. There’s a big difference between there being mutuality and respect in a breakup vs someone leaving with no discussion or not given you the respect to say your peace. You’re not being selfish or dramatic if you respond emotionally, that’s completely warranted if you were in relationship with this person. The only test is for you to seriously dig deep and understand that this person does not have the emotional capacity to be in a reciprocal, age appropriate and mutual relationship. You may think you want them back but that’s just your abandonment core wounds and fear of rejection kicking in. Stay no contact, lean into the pain and you will attract a wonderful soul into your life.

[cynthiabaker]

I am 61 and so sick and tired of how humans PURPOSELY HURT other humans / loved ones. Humans purposely don't want to work on issues they are escape goats - lazy psychologically....there are more of those than not. whoa I can't wait till this life experience is over. I have no faith in humans. Thanks for having faith Coach Lee.

[savenification]

Once i know they slept with someone else during the break up . i cant take then back

[Lovedrug]

Sometimes things need to fall apart in other to come back stronger . Everything we go through it’s either a blessing or a lesson

[hads]

Im really glad I didn’t go psycho when it happened. I was sad and disappointed, but they left me because of my clinginess, so I didn’t want to show more of that. I’m trying really really hard to implement tools that I’m learning in therapy about how to handle fear of abandonment, because exerting clinginess and suffocating people over it isn’t healthy or fair.

[brandonmorris]

Well the way I look at is, I learned how NOT to handle a breakup the next time

[willevermoore]

7.6 billion people in the world. We all need to lose the attachments and move forward to find someone better. I was stuck in the want my ex back until I started dating again and met someone 10 times better. Life is a constant change thing. Why stop to try and relive a moment(s) that get good.

[Keelah]

I don't expect ANYTHING from my ex. The keyword in my situation is IMMATURITY. Communication is always the key in any relationship and if you don't have it.. you DON'T have much of anything. I do enjoy watching your videos OVERALL and have learned alot..SO thank you☺

[raythedodger]

My ex and Her son were my priority. She dumped me because according to her, we were more like friends at the end. She is cold and proud. She told me she had no complaints and that I meant the world to her son. This came out of no where. I got up, walked out and sent her an email telling her off. I will not ever call again. 3 weeks later, I am at a great point in my life and have made major changes. She is now blocked and can’t communicate with me. People need to stand up for themselves and not allow someone to treat them bad. I’m sure she thought she had me under control. She doesn’t and if anything, me moving on will make her realize this. Never be afraid to stand up for yourself.

[georgewilliam]

I'm glad I came across this videos while in No Contact mode... Just got dumped 6 days ago and these videos are showing me that the power is now in my hands while in no contact...I just want to move on.. not to get her back, I want to feel worthy for myself coz she flat out came with bullshit excuses to end it while I thought things were going well... Thanks for these, I know I would have broken No Contact coz I was doing it out of anger..now I'm doing it for my own growth and healing. Thanks Coach Lee

[unicornprincess]

Waiting is the hardest part.
I haven't bothered him.
I hope he comes back eventually.

[alexandranoboa]

Hi Coach Lee and everyone,
His test and mind games came back to bite him. The tables have turned. He never expected this. Unfortunately, he took too long and it gave me time to think and re-evaluate everything. I'm good whether he comes back or not. However, his devious ways just turned off the spark. I'm very happy and confident right now. I feel now I have an advantage over him, who previously had an advantage over me. I don't have time for his mind games and immaturity. Life is all about being practical. It is what it is and it is what it's not. Peace out. ✌🏻

[topgunner]

Why should we have to play all these games of pretending to be ok and go into no contact hoping to get our ex back? My gf broke up with me 4 weeks ago and by god it hurts. It hurts like nothing else I have experienced before or will experience ever again. Day 24 of no contact. I love her with all my heart but she chose to walk away from our 3 year relationship, chose to walk into the arms of a married guy, chose all this herself so no matter how much it hurts why would someone want to be with someone who treats you like that. You will always be a doormat for them.

[kryptoniana]

my main question:
if you didn't act like a drama queen, you cried but you understood what she/he wanted.... this have the same effect?

[MUde-phgr]

He ended the relationship for much deeper reasons. I ended up seeing someone else. I don't want my ex back. Your vids help me a lot coach

[JelenaVecic]

Well i passed test in this case... so lets continue with NC rule.. and guys wish me a luck

[christopherm]

This in and of itself is the number one reason why you need to give them space if you want someone back. Because if you are a tool you are setting yourself up to fail the second time around. Unless of course the stars are aligned and everything goes perfectly.

[titanniki]

Broke up 7 days ago. Text her Mon, told her I love her & we should work this out. She hasn't responded. Went to NC Tues. Last night I text her, apologized for bothering her & asked if she could check the laundry room for my flashlight. My brother gave it to me so it has sentimental value.
I told her no reply was needed. Just leave on front stoop. If it's not there then I know I didn't leave it. It was there. I picked it up this morning, text her to say TY!
That was it.
I know she is hurting also. She knows I don't go 3 days w/o begging her to talk to/see me. So we will see. Coach you better be right!!!

[woody]

April 28th. We broke up.
I did 6 days no contact and drove her nuts, however I failed the test. I reached out too much and begged. Begged to the point her paranoid retired police dad got involved and threatened me because I tried to bring her her favorite flowers. I told her I love her. If i would of done no contact the entire time, my chances of getting her back would of been probably 80 percent at least. I learned a lesson but lost my chance. Now I move on with my life and reflect on my mistake.