Why Avoidant Ex Always Come Back After Breakup (personal story)

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[kaachsports]

I've recently split with my avoidant ex. Now while I do watch these videos to soothe my ego and self-regulate, I would never get back with him. Choosing to be with an avoidant is choosing a life of eternal pain. Please focus your energy on moving on and learn to live a beautiful life without them.

[frederickwee]

Too much emotional work for someone who is emotionally inept. In summary, avoidants wants companionship and if not self-aware, they push people away. Not worth it.

It's ironic, it's like saying I am hungry but I don't want to eat because chewing is too tedious.

[ywkz]

Why are we expected to constantly worry about their feelings and emotions when they are so terrible to us???

[MIMIDSH]

I had an anxious attachment due to my going through a tragic time in my life. After about a year, he said he didn't want any type of commitment or obligation and asked me to stop. So I did- I bowed out gracefully and respectfully, with no fuss. I didn't contact him for 3 months, until we saw each other at a social event. It took me another 3 months to invite him to see me. Since then, I've kept my emotions dialed down and now he's the one pursuing me. Previously, I wasn't giving him the space he needed to feel safe and in control. I've changed.

[fredamccabe]

Actually, they are not worth waiting for.

[CliffordMyers]

I can't help but love her. I see the good things, accept the bad, I don't know. It's just there, I would have built a life with her. It's heart-wrenching that it's not going to be that way. People say someone better will come around but I just wanted us to work out. There's nothing I can do and I'm completely powerless.

[JETTSTACHI]

If they NEED to avoid you, you're NOT their person. Move on.

[richmckeemusic]

Therapy is the only way guys. You aren’t gonna change anything without being on the same page

[sadiqua]

My ex is an FA, my needs were better and more meaningful communication and more couple time. After 7 months that was apparently too much. 7 months dating, 2 years of him pursuing me off and on. Interesting people these. If he’d reach out at this point I feel the only way to make it work is his working on making us a priority. Running from difficult conversations is a turn off and frankly immature AF.

[christinefury]

If people behave badly they do it because it still works for them. If it didn’t work for them, then they wouldn’t do it. They have the control. I told my BPD AVoidant off! I really let him have it. Saying mean things to him is not the person I want to be but he needs to be accountable for behaving like such a jerk. These people bring out the worst in me. They are so rude and disrespectful and I won’t put up with it!

[GSXRwx]

Excellent video ❤
Most avoidants have childhood abandonment wounds. With almost 50% marriages ending in divorce, the future doesn't look very bright. Absent fathers make avoidant daughters. A father is a woman's first love. When the first man in her life abandons a little girl, she loses the ability to trust anyone, and there can be no love without trust.

[brunom.fernandes]

Why do most of the video titles say that avoiders always come back, and the responses we see in the comments are not exactly like that? I think there is a market to take advantage of for those desperate for reconciliation.

[mbaiton]

I had never heard of anxious and avoidant attachment. I ended things because the relationship gave me anxiety once I started to develop feelings. It feels so much better now. I miss him but it wasn't worth it, my needs weren't being met.

[Animecat]

Guys it's true. my avoidant left, i did no contact, 7 weeks later ( today) he called me and said he wants me back

[rainfog]

this is just a big no no for me. if someone avoided me, then i avoid them. they can disappear from my life for all i care. there is no point going back. if you want to move forward, you face forward. you don't look back.

[barbaravaccaro]

My avoidant ex broke with me ( by ghosting me for 3 months… a very painful thing to do to someone who loves you) and it had zero to do with me demanding anything. He was in the middle of a financial hit taken in his divorce, and he just wanted to feel he could come to the table as an equal., We had much in common and were very compatible, but it just wasn’t the right time. He called me, occasionally, for 8 years, always taking stock of whether I had moved on or was just maybe waiting for him. I could tell he hurt for a long time.
But I finally married someone else.. and then the calls stopped . But I really never stopped loving him❤

[Cgbox]

It seems most DAs consider any sort of emotional/intimacy need from their partners as "needy" or "clingy".

[siyafaith]

Well, i asked him to talk to me, he refused and he told me he is unfair to me because he cant meet my needs and that i must find another man who will see mt needs as important. There!

I know i must move on, been with him for 5 years,

Now on No contact and thinking of dating again

[chosenoneshom]

The only way I would consider is if she went into therapy the same way I did that’s the only way I would consider

[ketor]

Yeah, mine came back after one and a half year. We came upon a this miniscule bump after 5 months, and then _poof_ gone again SMH... Another round of NC. Unsure if I really want this circus back again.