Grief Expert Shares The Worst Thing to Do After Heartbreak

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[sani_i]

“fear doesn't stop death, fear stops life”
“our mind would always rather feel guilty than helpless”

[Imgonnarise]

You should NEVER send them that closure text or reply to a breadcrumbing text ever. I replied to my ex’s text after 70 fuckin days of no contact, thinking that I was absolutely over him, but fuck my life, I saw his indifference again and spiralled, almost like I’d never even begun to heal. DONOT reach out to them ever once it’s over, no matter how much time has passed, it’ll never do you any good, no matter what. Trust me when I say this.

[gailsparrovv]

"The worst grief is always yours." Simple and profound.

[jimjam_games]

Don't blame yourself for being imperfect and dont second guess yourself. They could and should have communicated their concerns at any point when it was early on and healthy to do so. If they choose to repress resentment and pretend everything is great to self preserve and then blindside you, YOU and your mistakes were NEVER the problem. Their lack of communication was. We all know after the fact that those issues would have been easily resolved if we KNEW our love was at risk. They didn't tell us. That's on them.

[vivi.]

"Fear stops the relationship".

Learnt this the hard way.

[YvonneJSlater-px]

i really wanted to hear this but every day feels like an eternity without my husband by my side. The ache in my heart refuses to subside, and I'm consumed by memories of our life together. I long for his return and the chance to rebuild our love.

[jeffbarnen-rn]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against Suicidal, depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[biasedknowledge]

The way you explained how our minds prefer guilt over helplessness reminds me of the illusion of control. We so often try to impose meaning on situations that are out of our control, like blaming ourselves for outcomes that were never within our power to begin with. A friend of mine struggled for years with guilt after her father’s passing, thinking she should’ve done more, but hearing that guilt is a false sense of control could be such a freeing revelation. Thank you for bringing such clarity to a deeply painful emotion

[wixzam]

Came here to cure my grief, going away with a laugh :D What an absolute gem <3

[HooieBones]

Having lost both a partner and a child to death the issue of guilt is real. There is always the “could’ve, should’ve” going on in my mind. With my husband I regretted not showing him how much I appreciated all he did for me while he was alive. He needed that reassurance. Also, I wasn’t there for him when he passed in the ICU after life supports were withdrawn. I thought to myself, “He’s a tough man, he will be here in the morning.” He wasn’t. As for my adult child. She passed away from suicide. As a parent I will always wonder what I did wrong. I suffered prolonged pain. As time passes I am trying the best I can to practice gratitude and be grateful for having these beautiful souls in my life.

[jrwheeler]

I just turned 43 last week and my husband, whom I was with for a total of 22 years (since I was only 18), passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly a little over 2 years ago in June of 2022. I cannot even begin to describe the state of paralyzing shock I was in for the first several months after he passed. It was completely unexpected, and he was only 52 (he had just turned 52 a few weeks before his passing). Fast forward to early March of 2023, I met and fell madly in love with my now boyfriend of the last 19 months. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He has completely changed my life in ways that I never thought were possible. I honestly don't know how I ever lived without him! My biggest fear was always losing the ones that I love (my parents, close friends, romantic partner, pets, etc.). He, himself, actually had a near death experience in 2017 and he has really taught me to live in the present and stop living in perpetual anxiety over losing people. He always says to me, "We're all going to die. I've already died once, but I came back, and I'm going to die again. So are you! Live in the present and enjoy where you're at." The BEST advice ever.

[steceymorgan]

Ever since I divorced my partner, Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[RadicalValkyrie]

Yes, I grieved over a whole life ending, when my LONG time partner left me. That also meant mutual friends and industry colleagues ended. Social life. Everything was intertwined.
My job also collapsed and my pets died. This happened over six months. Then covid lockdowns happened. I was going through grief alone in a pandemic, and I was angry and regretting how much time and energy Id given them. Thankfully Id just gone to see my doctor before lockdowns, and started video sessions with a psychologist. We had to breakdown my life, deal with multiple grief and abandonment, and then build me back up over four years. It was so frustrating to know my ex is out there continuing as normal, with all our friends, the contacts I helped him make, the social life I had...and ill always grieve it a bit. But I think I'm in a much better place now in a new life, and I try to remember all the great stuff I did over that time. I DID SO MUCH!
People say 2020 was the worst, mine was 2019. My best was 2021 when I finally moved forward.

[jossfangirl]

"We are here to love the wrong people - to replicate the wounds to finally heal them." What if you did it right? Accept. And move on.

[cathywoo]

One of the VERY BEST interviews I've seen! So appreciate David's light, hilarious humor on such a dark topic. 😂 More so, grateful for his educated insight.

[Jonnybrooks-cn]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[cristinemariano]

He lives, yet he’s gone—a quiet ghost drifting through his world, while you linger in the hollow echo of who he once was to you 💔.

[joyejohnsonauthor]

I listen to this every couple of months and it's incredibly helpful. Uncle David coming through :)

[ValerieGaster]

This is extremely powerful. I wanted to be at this retreat and intuitively decided not to go. My mom passed on the 10th. It was good to be home. I've listened to it twice today and shared it with many. It covers a multitude of grieving. Bravo and much love for your openness to help others and not stay in the cobwebbed house. 🙏👍

[PaulaMarie_]

This message is what I share with my clients as an end of life doula.