Did Childhood Trauma Damage Your Perception?

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If you have trouble seeing red flags, or you tend to get manipulated by people over and over again, it may be that your powers of perception were damaged.

This is common for people who grew up with parents who lied or concealed the truth about frightening events -- where you could FEEL something was dangerous or "off," but you were TOLD you were imagining it.
Part of healing your life is learning to tell what is TRUE.

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[paulalane]

My mom drank and was abusive and the entire family acted like she was the life of the party! They were clueless about being 8 years old and hsving to run away to the neighbors because she was verbally and physically abusive. Then, when i grew up messed up, they acted like I was the nut case! Ive been deceived and gaslighted in nearly every relationship as an adult. Thanks to Anna, I'm learning the truth.

[lydieazuelos]

"You don't know what's real and you become easy to manipulate"
Bravo

[sevendegrees]

Being easy to manipulate is really one of the hardest things to get past. I just can’t trust any of my opinions.

[FabulousCucumber-iphu]

Anyone else hyper vigilant of everyone's mood/feelings because you feel responsible for them?!

[oldenoughtoknow...]

Don't forget their follow up sentences....when they are questioning the kid and kid is being truthful....they say to kid, "Don't lie to me. I can't stand a liar!"

[gracepoint]

This is absolutely 💯 so true, and I catch myself still, “fawning” or “freezing” when situations don’t add up, and questioning myself. I always want to give others the benefit of the doubt and see the best in others, but sometimes the reality is “WE SEE WHAT WE SEE!” “WE FEEL WHAT WE FEEL!” And that’s authentic. Period. Thank you for this reminder.

[politereminder]

I began my healing journey last year. Step 1 was telling myself the truth. Step two was telling others.
*The first sign of healing was an improved memory– both short and long term.* Because i was no longer fightting with my perception innorder to incorporate their lies.
I also learned to judge between good and bad encounters with people and i learned to stay away.

[IamHumanWoman]

I know my perception is damaged.

I was standing on a porch at 7 pm in winter and I heard frightening sounds in the distance. I said to the person next to me, “What is that scary sound?” I thought it was a stray animals fighting.

The reply, “That’s children sledding in the distance.”

Their screams in the middle of winter to my adult brain sounded like wild animals off in the distance. We live within walking distance of the mountains.

That’s when I began to see my perception is constant fear, of everything.

I grew up with severe abuse. Narcissistic mother, BPD, erratic behavior, many men, textbook everything.

I never knew how strong I was until my therapist pointed out my mothers abuse destroyed one of my siblings with drug addiction. Somehow I survived, I have my problems….but I did not succumb to abuses with drug and alcohol.

My mind is a mess. I cry a lot. I’m no contact. I don’t trust anyone, at times even my own children. I go to therapy, I put my blind faith in…but I am always afraid of them, too.

To say perception is damaged, that is putting it lightly.
😞 I don’t know why I am still here.

Thank you for your channel. You and others like Dr Gabor Mate help me immensely. If is psychology, I’m listening and taking back what I learn to therapy. I am always peeling layers off my personal minion as I cry.

You touch people in ways you aren’t even aware of. Thank you 🤍🙏

[NanaPiper]

That last bit gave me a jolt, no kidding. The daydreaming and disassociating to not know what’s real with “being easy to manipulate” 😮😢

[MjrCoxwell]

Thats called GASLIGHTING and it's still used today.

[Nerdy-By-Nature]

I'm really grateful that my mom did not try to cover for my dad's abusive behavior, for the most part. What messed me up is her saying "I know he loves you." It wasn't comforting. I didn't consciously believe it, that's NOT love. But subconsciously it definitely crossed some wires.

[jamiechristoffersen]

I feel called out in a good way. Thank you for putting words to a very important but rarely spoken about type of abuse. I spent so much of my life taking everything inward in an attempt to process something someone said wasn’t true. I KNEW it was true but lied to survive and felt like a bad person. I forgot myself. I forgot my very birthright of having a right to know love.

[annastroganova]

Makes sense, I can relate. I check out and day dream, especially when stressed. How do I deal with that?

[carolynf]

When I would open the refrigerator and see that my dad bought a six pack of beer, I knew I wouldn’t be around the next day.

[SisterGoldenHair]

I just had a episode talking to a friend about a incident that happened when I was a child and it brought up tears and emotions that I didn’t expect 😢 and I reflect on how my mom dealt with that situation with me and my little brother at that moment. She played it down and we were to except it as normal. She rarely did anything and if she did it wasn’t much. She never protected us . Me and my younger sibling.

[DemocracyWatcher]

I had a friend point out the power of perspective in my forties. It brought me out of the stupor I had been in since childhood.

[JohnKerbaugh]

Anger is an emotion, expressing it does not have to be rage, destruction, or hurtful to others.

[Golgibaby]

Long term harm from gaslighting. Mahalo for this!

[ashleycorbin]

My mom was and still is notorious for being annoyed with me and telling me I basically have no right to even say I had bad experiences as a child because she had it so much worse than I did and I should be so lucky to have had my childhood... With an absent father who if he was there he may chase us with knives for my mom removing her engagement ring or breaking her nose in front of me and so on...but I'm over reacting and dramatic

[robinbirdj]

We also do this to ourselves. It’s called the human condition. Everyone lies to others and to themselves, and we all have trauma from living in a violent, deceptive, angry, hurtful world as broken, hurtful people. I love your messages. This is also needful. ❤