How Childhood Trauma Shapes Your Personality

Have you ever wondered how your childhood trauma shape your personality as you grow up? Trauma can shape the way you think, the way you behave, your personality traits, and even make you prone to some serious mental illnesses like CPTSD, depression and so on. So, here’s how childhood trauma could shape your personality.

Writer: Stela Kosic
Script Editor: Michal Mitchell
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:

[CMP]

I love how this channel is so warming and hopeful despite the heavy topics that they cover from time to time. While I often understand what they talk about in the videos, it still helps to have a clearer picture of what you're going through, and this channels helps with that. They cover these heavy topics with a lot of care for their audience, and I love it.
Thank you so much for your content!

[ives]

"Children don’t get traumatized because they are hurt. They get traumatized because they’re alone with the hurt." – Dr. Gabor Mate

[bm]

My biggest fear out of everything in life is giving my kids a crappy childhood.

[ives]

"Nine times out of ten, the story behind the misbehavior won’t make you angry; it will break your heart." – Annette Breaux

[envioussul]

The: “you didnt clean your room enough/in a certain way” really hit me hard.

[annieb]

Every time I get verbally abused, I would make up a scene in my head where all the sad scenarios that happened to me was happening, and there was someone there to come soothe me, and hug me, and would tell me they are sorry for hurting me, and give me the attention and love that I deserve . This has been my coping mechanism for the last 32 years, and still going . It may sound like I’m a sick person in the head, but sometimes, just to get out of the hurt, I’d do anything even if it’s looked crazy .

[dababy]

"You'll do anything to get approval from someone who means alot to you." That just hit me really hard

[pinkfluffyunicorn]

For people who need it :)
1. You become a perfectionist 0:30
2. You may develop a eating disorder 1:43
3. You sometimes act childish 2:38
4. You develop an insecure attachment 3:50
3 types of insecure attachments:
1. anxious or preoccupied 4:44
2. avoidant or dismissive 5:03
3. disorganized or fearful-avoidant 5:33

[cynmori]

I think it's crazy how parents can shape their children behavior as adults. I believe is unfair but then I think it was unfair for them because their parents did something wrong to them as well. who's gonna end with this vicious circle?

[xenasilvia]

I always have this feeling that people may not like me. But i keep reminding myself that I can’t please everyone and I don’t have to.

[karensimpson]

I was quiet, painfully shy and I had no confidence so people labelled me thick and I went with it for years . My Dad said if there was a wrong way to do something I would find it . He was very impatient and prone to mood swings which is why I spent most of my childhood on egg shells . I stayed quiet and kept to the background so that I wouldn’t be noticed. This was my coping mechanism but unfortunately it didn’t help me to push myself forward . Confidence came later . I am happy now, not to everyone’s taste but at 62 years old I have learnt to care about me and put me first.

[shamzu]

I always thought every others childhood was same as me. Watching this video makes me think how miserable my life was. Everything in this video told exactly what I was feeling all the time.

[imanabdullahi]

It’s important to note that many dismissive avoidants don’t actually have high self esteem. They appear confident to cope and hide their fear of rejection and belief that no one will ever love them.

[micheller]

I was abused mentally, emotionally, and verbally. I'm literally every outcome you speak of in these videos as a result of toxic psychological abuse. We need a video on steps to heal. Thank you for what you do.

[Soulful..]

My life is full of so much traumas that i can't even explain it. From the childhood assaults to molestation, having parents who always fight, they didn't even care if I'm crying or afraid of them, screaming in the corner somewhere, waking every morning in a fear. This was my childhood. They just wanted me to say "yes" to their every decisions that's it. Couldn't even behaved like a person whatever I was. This was just my childhood. And after that life is much worse than anyone can even imagine.

[astronorr]

My abusive father turned my life into a nightmare for 25 years, and my mom was quite helpless and couldn't help me or herself. I defended myself on my own.
From childhood I've learned that the world is cruel, people are evil and you always need to fight for yourself - and at the same time I'm unworthy of good things, I shouldn't even try.
A lot of people are actually kind for me, really, but I live in fear and push them away or act too harshly to them. And I'm so sorry! I don’t want to hurt or avoid good people, I can’t just act differently, I’m used to be always ready to defence or attack.
I'm stuck in my shell and can't get out.

I'm just glad I can share my story here. Thank you so much for that. 🧡

[jonahemilio]

I had alot of childhood trauma, i was raped by my brother at 7 years old, i was mentally and physically abused by my parents growing up, being constantly yelled at, being told from my mom that she wished she never had children and much more. My parents divorced when i was born and my dad an abusive drunk, i felt lost and i felt like I couldn’t go anywhere and that i had no one, and i would have countless nights where i just sit in my room and cry, My step dad put poop on my toothbrush and i would brush my teeth with it when at age 6 . i am currently now 18 living on my own because my mom kicked me out .Im looking for schools near me cause im still a senior and im working constantly, and i have my own apartment. theres so much more to my story

[maddyG]

My family was very dysfunctional in many ways, like most families I’m sure. My sister and mum fought every night for years of my childhood- screaming, threats, breaking things. My dad and I went to our rooms alone. I delved into a world of fantasy novels and music. My parents also spanked us frequently which I realize is very common in the previous generation, but it set off a lot of fear in me. I was bullied in highschool and became very isolated because I couldn’t talk to my parents about my feelings. There was a consistent message in my house that you shove down how you feel. You don’t cry, you don’t feel sorry for yourself. You just carry on. But I never felt as strong as my parents, and so I struggled for years with substance abuse and low self esteem. This year for the first time, I am examining my childhood memories and understanding that we were not a perfect family (like my mum kept trying to convince me). My parents had a lot of emotional issues and traumas (my dad was abused by his father and my mums parents died young) and they brought that with us. Their marriage fell apart when I was born and eventually my dad cheated on my mum and we all found out. Basically…don’t let people tell you that just because you haven’t experienced the worst of the worst, that you don’t have lasting impacts from your childhood. Everyone does, and it’s important to understand where you came from and how it shaped you.

[aitanagonzalez]

As someone in the coments said, I assume my childhood was normal until i grow up and saw everyone else's was better. My parents never traveled, took me to the cinema, to science expositions, extra-clases, to the park, literally anywere. My mum was always working and my dad unemployed drinking, when my mum would come out of work he would demand her presence at the bar and i was left alone at home like 6 hours a day after school. Now everyone has wonderful experiences from childhood and craves being an adult, while I'm trying to process that mine was sad and repetitive. On top of that, my dad was unpredictable and abusive. He could be happy laughing, but when he just crossed the hallway, he could be shouting and insulting us. Now he's dead, my mum recovered from the abusive relationship and has a boyfriend, but for me, it feels like I can't turn the page. Everyone has moved on, started growing up, making friends and having relationships while I'm with low self-esteem, insecure, sad, without barely any friends and far away from love-like interaccions. I just stay at home, feeling like my life is passing by while I just contemplate others.

[aamnahere]

I literally had tears at your description of anxious attachment style. This fits me perfectly. I've heard the term before but the simple and concise way in which you put it made me feel seen and understood after what feel like an eternity. Thanks a lot. I hope there are some steps we can take ourselves to become more secure in our own selves and our relationships.