5 Weird Things Only Narcissists Do

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00:00 introduction

01:17 1.A Narcissist will Intentionally keep the house messy

02:47 2.They will Intentionally invite somebody who sides with them

04:47 Workshop Announcement

05:20 3.A Narcissist will Intentionally create mess

06:31 4.They'll isolate you & then blame you

07:34 5. A narcissist I'll convince you to quit job then blame you

[therealaayan]

Narcissists thrive on creating chaos and destroying others. Their existence depends on it..

[debbiee.]

Creating chaos is the goal. Not for the sake of chaos. For attention and to drive you crazy. They derive intense pleasure from this. My narc had been complaining that the fireplace was letting in too much cold air in the house from the roof and the attic, he wanted to get rid of it and board up the wall. When did he decide to start the demolition? When my sister came to visit. He destroyed the living room wall, removed the fireplace and left all the rubble there in the middle of the living room floor. We had already invited the family over to see my sister because she came from out of town. He didn't see anything wrong with just leaving it there for them to see when they arrive and got mad at me for being angry about it. Just one of many stories I can tell. These people are not normal.

[wendylou]

All of the first 4 were the ex. I used to say I was taking 30 minutes to myself in garage relaxing. Always, 5 minutes later the dogs would be let out and he would follow. The house was always a mess as I would clean and he messed it up. I stopped cleaning! It's nice to have validation to those intentional efforts to be an effing thorn in my side. So glad he cheated and harshly discarded me. I'm to do what is good for me. Btw, the house has never been cleaner!

[carparthero]

being merciless is something we don't like but when dealing with a narcissist we have to be.

what people often misunderstand about boundaries is that the point of setting them is not so much to change other people's behavior.

it's to advocate for, and protect yourself, regardless of how they respond.

cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[AngelEyes-xmel]

I am totally drained emotionally, physically. Has promised to clean and they make it worse. There image is important. A fractured back, he expects me to clean up. He throws empty potato chip bags on the floor. Been packing my car when he is not around. I will be totally homeless. But have some sanity.

[dyoung]

💯% true on all of these. Sometimes he’d get up in the middle of the night, start vacuuming and mopping just to disturb my sleep. He tried his best early on to convince me to quit my job. Luckily I didn’t fall for that trick.

[emmarae]

They need chaos to deflect away from their inner turmoil.

[janusu]

I think a narcissist's motivation at its most basic level is to fill the gaping void in their own hearts, which will never be filled. Everything you've described is a result of that.

[katjay]

That's why it takes several years sometimes for people to recover from the abuse and some people never do....

[LauraGuerra-yj]

I was totally drained mentally and physically. I was wiped out 😔!! Without any energy 😮‍💨🤷🏻‍♀️ left.

[lorettajoy]

Year upon long year, nex had us living in half-finished houses and working on rentals. I sometimes worked day and night remodeling them, schooling the children, making meals, keeping the houses as clean as possible, doing side jobs, etc.
Now i know the drawn-out construction, dust everywhere, buckets of tools, fumes, plaster & constant painting, plumbing in progress, excavations, etc which never seemed to finish until just before selling were intentional!
I never got to live in a single completed house for any length of time for over twenty years. Sometimes there weren't enough bedrooms, mattresses on the floors, no hot water for six months, and completely uninhabitable portions of the homes. The living conditions were usually inadequate and even unsafe.
In the middle of all this, nex would make sure to bring me animals which needed help or as "gifts", such as a huge red macaw that HATED women and was dangerous to even walk by when it was out. Nex bought this bird, cage and everything for 500 dollars (we supposedly didn't even have it to spend!) and brought it home unannounced. More responsibilities for me, and i cared for that bird for months until i was ready to turn it loose! Nex finally had someone get it. Sugar glider, many sweet kittens & cats (while he complained about too many cats), baby squirrel, hurt bunnies, baby possums, puppies, knew i loved animals and did this all intentionally to add more to my already overwhelmed responsibilities and ultimately to keep me bound to him.
The ongoing remodeling was so triggering that to this day, i have to hide away any buckets that remind me of those i lived with.
There's so much more i could say but THANK YOU for helping me understand WHY nex could never seem to finish the home projects for years. It was intentional, and he didn't want to. Glad to be free of nex and that life. I wish happy free lives for all of us! 🏵🌿🏵

[lejci]

Omg.. Yes! No. 1...doing something only when there are spectators (garden or other outdoor situations) or before a visit, otherwise they can live in a mess.

[aseasonalname]

My ex would clean after I spent all day cleaning. For example I cleaned the toilets, he’d come home after work and start cleaning the toilets, I vacuumed and he’d vacuum right after i vacuumed. He’d wipe of the kitchen counters and table right after as to say I didn’t do any of it right.

[mariellarobles]

Since my second son I couldn't keep up with the maintenance of the house. He works nights and I would have the kids quiet by 6pm so he could rest. He would get upset and tear me down constantly and say I was worthless. I don't think the house will be immaculate but it is liveable. When he gets mad he was constantly kicking me out of his house so I didn't feel inspired to clean something that wasn't mine. We never had teamwork and the kids would parrot what he would say cleaning the house was "my job " and it's hard to get help. I would do house chores and homework and take the kids to the park and library and so many errands and I couldn't keep up, and it was even darker times when he cheated on me I was crushed for many years. I functioned on autopilot. He inflicted so much pain I couldn't patch the wounds quick enough and I was a mess I wanted to be perfect for him and run everything efficiently and I couldn't. I only do what I can now and I take pleasure in what I do and I don't do anything for him anymore I live for my well-being now.

[bobsanderz]

They will ask you a seemingly normal question like, “how are you?” Then mock your answer in a more infantile voice and laugh.

[joseenoel]

They're over the top/force their exaggerated grandiose anythings, narrow minded, validating their stupid narrow minded thoughts trying to control us from near or far which ends badly leading to them to slander! ❤

[christinemunger]

Financial burden! My husband would even trot out medical bills (paid for by insurance) to show me how much I cost! I'm sure my medical bills would be far less had I not been with his toxicity for so long! Four months after I finally got away, I got diagnosed with breast cancer! I'm so glad I was already out by that time. Otherwise I think I'd be stuck for the duration and the stress of him not caring for me would have been endangering my health further.

[heidikleu]

This is my life currently summed up in 1

[valiizajames]

All of the topics you hit on, I can remember a scenario where this happened to me w/ my ex! I will admit I walked into some of the awkward/ overtired reactions, but there wasn't an us...there was a me and a him. He would just watch work so hard doing all the work and nothing! Until...

[outikoskela]

You really find the way to verbalise these difficult patterns of behaviour.❤