10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship!

Licensed therapist, Gabrielle Juliano-Villani, goes over what a toxic relationship is and 10 signs of a potentially toxic relationship.

Everyone deserves to experience the benefits of improved mental health and emotional wellness. If you're ready to take the next step in your journey, here are some helpful resources from Choosing Therapy.

Video by: Gabrielle Juliano-Villani, LCSW

What Is a Toxic Relationship?

Toxic relationships tend to exhibit a pattern of negativity where at least one partner causes harm in some way, whether purposeful or not. Sometimes that is intentional abuse in a relationship, or manipulative behaviors that can leave one partner feeling trapped or burned out on the relationship. It’s possible these behaviors were learned in childhood or experienced as an adult, and the expectation of any other behavior has not been established.

Sometimes, toxic relationships are ones that need time and care to work through issues together so more trust can be built in the relationship. For others, it’s just two people who are not a good pair together but are great apart. It’s important to separate the toxic relationship from accusing a partner of being toxic person, however both can occur at once.

Article: What Is a Toxic Relationship? Signs, Impacts, & How to Fix It

Written by: Silvi Saxena MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C

Medically Reviewed by: Naveed Saleh MD, MS

Published: 09/02/2022

[detroitjoey]

Literally just checked off the entire list

[elizabethfitzgibbons]

In my family we all have a hard time communicating our feelings

[zohryakanowah]

i love him but am the victim in it 😥😔😢 its tiring ...sometime...very. He doesnt value a good woman

[Forest_Corest]

Shit..

Well shes not trying to be toxic! My gf is just really busy.. she has her resons for what she does.. shes nicer in real life! Shes just a little difrent over text! Right?! She wouldent leave me on read and make every conversation feel one sided while i feel left out and alone even when she is around..

Holy dang im in denial ☹️😳
This one video made me have an intere self talk over text..

[brawlchenel]

Thet is literally her I give up on gameing because she didn’t like it but I just played one match with boys it give me all energy to keep going

[EuroMorocc]

One of the worst, if not the worst topics of communication that exist today is the word "toxic."


I have never taken the time to address any one thing as so bad, but this word deserves all the effort.


First, all people have issues. We al would fall into that category in one way or another. Only a perfect person would not.


As a Crhistian, The Disciples issues were lamented by Christ. They would have fallen into that catergory. Paul talks about the church and the members of the church would have fallen into that catergory. They also did things that were wrong by the Bible and knew better. By earlier words they would have been condemned by their actions. They were not. Paul said, in the following I have no praises for you. This means they were wrong but not condemned. They had time to get their act together. There was no attempt to promote division. There was an effort to re-establish unity. This addresses the next point.


Paul laments on his self reflection. He would have been called "toxic." But he is one who someone people follow and asteem to be. While Paul makes a statement that if anyone causes even the least of you (Christians) to stumble... but he was that  exact person he would condemn. Later, he laments on that. He later boldly confesses how bad he was (is).


"Toxic" is a word of the world. Christians should pray for a person as directed and not condemn. Even being negative is a sin. Jesus said that calling someone RAKKA wold be wrong and subject to punishment by trying to harm the person's character. But Christians are throwing around the word "toxic" like it is candy for children. Yet, the use of the word reflects a level of immaturity. 


For other people, let's address the facts. 


Saying someone else is "toxic" is a final declaration that self is RIGHT and the other is wrong. That is a bold statement. Two truths are, unless one is perfect then they are not right. The second is, the person using the word is hurt. The phrase is, hurt people hurt people. They use the word to do harm when their feelings are hurt because the other person is not in constant agreement. It is much like a temper tantrum because the child does not get their way. They will pout, get out of control and say mean things because they are not getting their way. But this is the bottom line. They want their way. They are addressing one way and saying how bad it is that there is a difference in opinions and actions. If the two did not know each other they would live on their own way and neither would be declared "toxic." So now that the person disagrees, they receive a label from the other that the world is supposed to accept as a definitive title because someone had a temper trantrum.


Psychology may have created the word. But psychology is not created to mend or fix. Psychology is by the world, catergorizes and divides. He who is a friend of the world is an enemy of Mine. That is because Christ came to heal the world with the world of God. Condemning and criticizing does the exact opposite. The wise person understands and is patient with long-suffering. 


The best advice I have consistently heard from couples with over 50 years of marriage and is consistent regardless of state and city was, two do not need to agree. They can agree to disagree. That is ok. 


I have not heard anything more plain and simple. It does not divide, it promotes positive energy and a future. It heals and does not destroy. It is not criticizing or labeling.


The one who uses the word "toxic" is declaring they are perfect. The other person needs to change to their point of view. It is manipulation and some define that as witchcraft. No matter how it is considered, the fact that it reflects the issue with the speaker is abundantly clear. They do not want to resolve or fix. They want to divide and conquer. 


Everyone is "toxic". Everyone needs prayer and help. But if we decide to pray then we need to pray for ourselves if we want to lablel, divide and conquer. There is  no love in that intention.


Physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse or the silent treat are abuse. There are no excuses for them. There is wisdom in being silent. There is no wisdom in being silent to cause harm to others. The same goes for any of the other tacts of abuse. Some would question if those meet the definition of "toxic"? And if I was going to embrace the word in my  vocabulary then I would say yes. But there are so much verbal abuses that transpires from both genders that go unchecked or is not acknowledged that it would be hypocritical and of low character to address some people and not all. So rather than labeling and dividing, it is best to resolve and heal. 


"Toxic" is self. It is condemning, labeling, verbal abuse to achieve one's own agenda. That is the only agenda of the use of the word. The world wants to divide because there is more money to be made through division than resolving an issue and keeping unity. Two households spend more money than one. Couples make sacrifices. But individualism says you deserve. Deserve literal means you should spend money and make wealthy people wealthier. This is as plain and simple as it is. Go on YouTube and look at how many people are capitilizing on the world. It is a money maker. It a way to manipulate and achieve one's own agenda.


Sadly, the phrase it is two against the world is more accurate than inaccurate. But God needs to be in that spectrum and the two should have God, Who apposes the world.