How to respond when people believe differently than you. Ep. 161

Sharing your beliefs with friends and family can be daunting. In this episode, Dave throws around a few ideas that might make things a bit easier for you.

Notes:

— You can win all the arguments in the world, but “if ye have not charity, ye are nothing … charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” (See Moroni 7 & 1 Corinthians 13)

— I love that D&C 121 mentions having charity “towards all men and to the household of faith.” Sometimes, Latter-day Saints can be the most hostile towards members of their own faith with whom they disagree. But charity is not just for those outside of your community. It’s for everyone.

— I also love that D&C 121 is conscious of the effect our words have on others. We’re taught to express love to those whom we reprove, “lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.” We’re taught elsewhere (in the New Testament) to love our enemies, but D&C 121 points out that we shouldn’t be going out of our way to make new enemies. If our interactions are driving people away from the gospel of Jesus Christ, perhaps we’re doing something wrong. Our interactions should minimize the risk of creating enemies from those we disagree with. Thanks to Hugh Spackman for pointing this out.

— It’s also worth acknowledging that in addition to Christ’s sharp reprovals, there were also times when one might have expected him to respond with harshness, but instead he simply stayed silent. For example, see Matthew 27. Thanks to Roseanne Service for bringing this point to my attention.

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[HelloSaints]

I very much resonate with this and appreciate this posture!

[mkjhnqw]

The world can never have too many long-suffering and loving people, thanks for the motivation

[naikou]

I used to watch you guys' videos when I started encountering the "anti-Mormon" literature. Now here I am as an atheist being recommended this after half a year. My thoughts; this is a good message. I honestly got upset when I stopped believing because I felt like everyone I love and care about lied to me my entire life, and some of that hurt arises in current conversations. However, I hope to also be someone who is kind to people with differing beliefs. Religion is honestly pretty cool, and I have so much more to learn about it. Hopefully talking to people with different beliefs can help me with that learning (and learning how to connect with people).

[ARAZTXTN]

The video no one asked for but everyone needed.

[LotusInitiate]

my suggested videos on YT have been flooded with grown men debating with teenagers (missionaries) about religion. I am so happy this video about this topic is published!

[brentgarner]

Thank you, this does help sence I joined the Church a few people have ganged up on me and told me not to join and get out, I let it slide for awhile then saw it happening to someone seeking the Church and started the same thing I lost it a little, joining the Church experiencing the fullness of the Gospel and the Truth has been very healing for me Jacob 2:8, I want that for everyone best decision I ever made, grace and peace to all.

[rachel]

love the new set and intro! can't wait to see the other set and intro!!

[markjacobsen]

I think the key is to be focused on the Saviour at all times. I don't get mocked as much as I did when I was younger, but what I find to be most effective in bringing about a peaceful interchange is to ask the other person how their belief system helps them feel calm and have inner peace. If it is another Christian I may ask them specifically to tell what what it felt like to have their guilt washed away when they accepted Jesus as their Saviour. What did it feel like to be cleansed from your sins. This then opens it up for me to share my experience with the same. Kind of difficult to go back to contention when you're both sharing how the Saviour changed your life and made you feel whole.
For non Christians it is similar, but I ask more generally how their belief system or philosophy helps them have inner peace. I can then share how the gospel gives me inner peace as well.
Yes, some people do just walk away, but at least it ends peacefully.

[boltrooktwo]

I think a good rule to stay out of contention, but still be bold and defend what is right, is to stick to philosophical truths. Say things that have the most evidence, are reliable, and affirm the value of human beings. Tell the truth about something someone else said or make a comparison to what they say and ask them which is better with an object lesson. Dig toward truth and realizations can be made. Seek truth, it is the only victory. The three reality grounding questions are: 1. As compared to what? 2. At what cost? In things like self-perception and ability. 3. With what hard evidence? You’d be surprised how many people believe things with no hard evidence or even if something has good results we can observe.

[MrArtist]

Excellent video! Oddly, the simplest teachings of Jesus are the hardest to live: love one another, not judging, avoid contention. It's ironic that the rudest, most contentious and violent people I've ever known are Christians while most of the nicest and calm people I've ever known are atheists or agnostics. Good lesson for us all to remember, to live by Jesus' actual teachings and example.

[ChildofGod]

God I will continue to trust your timing even if I don’t understand. I’m having a hard time paying bills and putting groceries in the refrigerator. BUT I STILL TRUST YOU LORD! Faith is trusting in God durning hard times. Faith is what is getting me through my hard situation. I’m still struggling to providing for my two autistic children since losing my job over declining the vaccine. I declined due to my pre existing health condition (Lupus) and Heart disease. I was denied my medical/religious exemption from Forsyth Hospital. My husband passed away three years ago, so I’m all alone. Both of my sons are non verbal so things are more hard on me. Every month I don’t know how we are going to make it through. Every month is a struggle, a battle to not end up on the streets. I’m so depressed and embarrassed by my situation. I’ve been put down and mocked over my circumstances. I’m so ashamed and overwhelmed. BUT because of my faith God shows up every month and provides. He has even sent strangers to help me, thank you Father. Even as I face homelessness with two young children seemingly every month!
I know that God will provide abundantly. Thank you Jesus. I BELIEVE!

[metroidmckay]

needed to be said, and well said at that. i wish david was my dad

[chaseallen]

Don't sacrifice the point of the discussion just to be "right"

[franktusieseina]

David my brotha! Been a minute. Amen to this and all you share. As we chatted before about my family, you're right on. Make it about Christ and how he interacted with everyone no matter what the situation is. Instead of feeling like you gotta "defend" your faith, I like what President Nelson just taught in the YSA devotional. Let those who would blow you up over your beliefs just see and feel how much your faith is real to you and makes your life the best it can be. When its all said and done, be like Christ and leave his impression on them, and that will never need defending because that's the spirits job and he does it perfectly. It's easy to be a witness of Christ and do so without all the drama. Be bold, take a stand...for and in Christ. David you da man brotha! Keep up the good vibes!

[seans]

I’m always happy to politely discuss anybody’s beliefs, if anyone wants to practice.

[marclucas]

Great job with the video and love the new intro

[estherlewis]

Christ said that he would divide people and families. The truth naturally divides people. In order to be worthy of Jesus and eternal life, you need to side with God's truth even if it divides your own family.

[atravismoore]

I’m only angry that you didn’t show off your sweet holy grail, a la Indiana Jones and the last crusade.

[paulmorris]

The problem arises when the believers don’t accept established facts or “inconvenient truths”. Historically accurate accounts of Joseph Smith do NOT sit well the last remaining members of the LDS (the LDS is losing members faster than an arterial bleed!) Most Mormons haven’t (or have been told NOT to) read The CES Letter by Jeremy Runnells.

[Liberty-LLama]

So many Apologia Church videos segmented in this is video. Why did you blur out faces?