ADHD + Emotional Dysregulation 🙁 Why we're so hard on ourselves

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ADHD + emotional dysregulation show up together a lot (unfortunately). If you've ever found yourself frozen... like, unable to do anything, because you were upset or even just overwhelmed with excitement, then you've experienced emotional dysregulation and it can be a challenge to deal with - whether you have ADHD or not.

In this video, I'm sharing some of the struggles that members of this ADHD community have shared with me about their emotional dysregulation, and how I've learned to manage my own emotional disregulation in my own life.

Whether you're dealing with losing track of time or feeling like a failure, I've got tips and advice to help you stay calm, centered, and focused. So if you're ready to take control of your ADHD and feel more empowered in your life, then hit that play button and let's get started!
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I’m struggling with prioritizing and procrastination not procrastinating exactly but absolutely overwhelmed

aimeemariefournier
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I just turned 63 and I have not been officially diagnosed, but I realized that I was ADHD, when one of my children was diagnosed at an early age. The psychologist that diagnosed my child help me read a list of symptoms, to see how many I could relate to, as I read the list I thought I was reading a symptom list of my life. Anyways, fast forward to now and this podcast has just brought me to tears realizing that so much you wouldn’t be feeling it’s not just me or my post menopause but it’s also my ADHD. I have been fighting failure, the fear of failure, all of my life. Performance anxiety with every new job. Fear of people being angry at me fear disapproval. Sorry for the tirade. And I’m on the verge of facing another life change huge decision, whether or not I’m going to pursue a new career at my age and I’m doubting every step because I think I’m stupid.

avrilcrundwell
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I get my bag ready the night before- I charge all my devices and power bank, check if I have enough cash and double check if all my credit cards or debit cards are still in my wallet ( you never know ;)

I also, clean out my bag every night because I tend to just throw random things in it during the day.. sugar packets, napkins, straws, receipts etc 😅

If I need to bring something like my lunch or water bottle - I write myself a note the night before and put it on top of my bag 📝🤓 so I don’t forget.

I know myself, so even though I prep my things the night before I still need 1 hr to leave the house and give myself and extra 30 min to get to wherever I’m going because I hate stressing about being late ⏰ 😎

Msanabanana
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The strangest thing, weekends are by far the worst for me. Not having work to anchor me/take up much of my day is tough. On the weekend I feel I’m thinking about everything I should do and everything I don’t like about my house and myself etc I feel overwhelmed, anxious, scattered - all while I should be enjoying time with my kids and wife. I suffer a lot inside.

liamlynch
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To the letter-writer: move into the extra bedroom if you have one! And take your decor with you to make it your own space!

Heyuher
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On a random day I’ll be happy and doing fine…and then in a short amount of time my mood starts to drop even though it was untriggered…. Pretty soon I’m an emotional mess after I’ve realized I’ve been subconsciously telling myself that I’m worthless….That everything about me is undesirable and that the world wasn’t made for people like me. I beat myself into a pulp and then I can’t stop the sad emotions going through me and I break down. It ruins my day. It almost ruins my whole life. This just sucks and is so hard to deal with. The worst part is that I have many good things in my life and I can’t get my stupid brain to focus on those happy things. Tears just flow endlessly…
It makes me so mad at the world. It all feels so unfair.

doobiewonkanooby
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I had a lovely epiphany the other day - I was waiting for someone to help me at the store and I started to feel overwhelmed with a sense that everyone was staring at me (which brought up feelings of being judged). I used to perform a lot (dance and music) and I thought to myself "I'm not on stage right now!" I took a couple of deep breaths and quickly felt the feelings of judgment go down. I was able to actually look around and see that no one was looking at me - they were all focused on their own problems. It definitely helps me when I can become aware of myself - what I'm feeling and how I got there - so I can regulate myself ❤

juliesanders
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I think your reader needs to divorce her husband. If she has college-aged kids, then she's been with him for at least 20 years, and has done everything in her power to make him happy at her own expense. Clearly he does not appreciate her or even try to understand her condition. Every woman deserves better than that. The husband will be sorry when she's gone, but she'll be happier and freer than she has been in years.

sararatliff
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I feel this. I was married for 33 years and when I stopped putting his needs before my own, I began to notice things I hadn't noticed before. My ex was hiding many things from me including a pretty heavy addiction. So my advice to anyone who puts others before themselves, please, please don't do that. Don't put others'needs before your own.

Chhesterification
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The combination ADHD and perimenopause is literally hell… for me anyway…. energy for anything, more anxiety than ever and feeling of complete failure…. Everything seems so much harder nowadays than before…. 😩

neversayneveragain
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Your channel is so valuable and appreciated. I'm understanding myself in a much healthier mindset. Waiting on my ADHD diagnosis confirmation because I did score pretty high.

I'm realizing how much of my life is a mix of this and PTSD. Then after the 'Rona all the symptoms got heightened to the point I definitely needed professional help.

Wishing everyone the best and that we all find methods that help us function as well as people who understand and support us.

metalgearsenshi
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About a year ago I got really serious about not being "a shitty human being that fucks up everything he touches and whose life is a total mess that he is, despite great talents, unable to get into shape" and started telling myself that "I'm a normal person, with my suite of problems who deserves to be better and have a better life." Unfortunately, I have outright been told by my wife that "I know you think this is an improvement, but I don't." So, be prepared to find out the real nature of your relationships if you ever decide to "show up" as yourself.

Vapourwear
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Wow, this first person you are talking about with the lateness to work, the inability to wake up easy, partner not understanding.... sounds like me to a T!! My boss has made snide comments like "the other girls get here early." I've been late since I started this job and even asked about a flexible schedule when I got hired. Been here 2 years, but it doesn't stop my boss from throwing shade my way with her energy.

aprilmae
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I was diagnosed with ADHD last year at 53 - just found your podcast & love your positive hopeful thoughts. I like how you explain the why’s too, especially this episode. I could totally relate!! Thank you!

suzannebissell
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Emotional dysfunction 😢
Hyper activity 😢
I cant get to work on time im meant to start at 8am but i get to the office at 9h30😢
Atleast my boss undestand 😅

I get drained after being hyper

Anxiety when i sense rejection 😢
I'm great at sensing and I always think when people are quiet ITS ME OR ITS AGAINST ME😢

faithing
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This is so true! If I wake up 30 minutes or 4 hours before work...I arrive at the same time, lol. Structure is ADHDers best friend, but it's really hard when (if you take medication) the most critical part of the day is the part of the day you're not covered by meds. I usually bring meds to work as I probably forget to take it before I leave about 50% of the time. I'm a psychiatrist...I know the tips and tricks but knowing the information and applying it are two very different beasts.

CarlosHernandez-qwxd
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I just had my autism assessment on Monday. I will be getting the answers soon. The more I learn about autism and adha. I say that’s me. I just turned 45 today. I’m struggling on how to say all my feelings.

desireeandrews
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Diagnosed at 30 and I'm so glad I've found you. I'm not broken!

casebeth
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I am 43 and I feel like Bruce Banner. I am always angry.
I am always one small inconvenience away from Hulking out. I don't get violent. I will start being rough with inanimate objects, I get quite. My body goes hot and I start dripping sweat.
I ruminate on the inconvenience that set me off and how I am always falling short of goals and life in general.
I am also always in a hurry for no reason.
That song I'm In A Hurry by Alabama is all about me.

benjamineckles
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Wow, I’m a man but that first woman’s letter is very much what I experience.

mokyan