How to Recognize, Manage & Avoid Dysregulation (spoiler alert I cry 😂🙌🏻)

I was dysregulated for the first 4 MONTHS of this year! here's how I identified it, managed it and what I'm doing to try and avoid it happening again!

When was the last time you were dysregulated? Or perhaps, when was the last time you were REGULATED?

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[NiaLaLa_V]

Young ladies, learn about menopause before you get here. I am so angry that everyone only talks about the hot flashes because that is not even one of my top 5 problems. The inability to control my emotions having this on top of PMDD and ADHD is so hard I can't even find the words to explain it to you.

[dragonabsurda]

The description of understimulated dysregulation sounds textbook like every job I've ever had when I get to the point where the job is routine.

[allisarcadia]

I think what sucks the most about gathering information like this is that I feel like I can't do anything with it. Most techniques, most tools, are designed for persons who are not a primary care giver of an entire other person. I'm having to learn all of these intense, unchangeable, essentially untreatable things about myself while caring for not just myself and it seems like everything actually helpful is only achievable when caring only for yourself.

[ShojiPanda]

14:50
The Six Essentials
1. Sleeping Habits
2. Eating
3. Hydration
4. Hygiene
5. Movement
6. Connection to Other People

[sylvan-dreams]

gotta love being overstimulated and understimulated at the same time. on one hand, i feel like work is a bit dull and i dont have enough energy for my projects when im at home so im doing a lot of passive entertainment thats understimulating. on the other hand i am around so many people every day at work, socializing a lot and i am on my feet the whole time, lifting and moving things and my body is starting to complain about this and i dont want to socialize outside of work cause im overstimulated, but the that also makes me feel more lonely. yay. gotta love adhd and whatever else is going on in my head

[stormie]

9:24 my daughter sneezed and then you said "bless you" 🤣 i was so confused for a sec

[holybell]

Thank you for this video. It explains why I've been feeling off recently. My family went from 3 to 1 car (my car). I am remote for now but I didn’t realize that I took it as a complete loss of freedom since my mom was using my car. Add to the fact that she was not taking car of it in the way I like did not help.

Her car is fixed now but I'm climbing out of the overstimulation hole now. Having a new environment to work in (going in the office this week) will help for sure.

For context, I learned to drive at 22 and got my first/dream car at 25. I paid off the car last Oct (2 years early) by myself despite people not believing in me (except my bestie!). I even got a better job because I can drive now.

So that car is a tangible symbol of me living a more adult life. Probably doesn't mean much to others but it was everything to me. This video helped me realize that things like this will happen and I can go at my own pace to work through it. 😊

[KJ-bjoi]

Um, wow. You ever hear something that triggers a gut response in you, and you go, "I need to deal with that"?
Because hearing, "being emotional is beautiful, " sent a flood of no, no, wrong, incorrect through me. And, uh, yeah, that's not good. I am nearly tearing up about it.

[andrewmcbride]

Wow, your timing.
I lost my job and have been feeling sad and having lots of digestive issues. I've also noticed an even more difficult time focusing and losing things more often. I've been very overwhelmed and emotional as well.

Being aware of what's going on totally helps to start fixing things.

Thank you and thank the youtube algo for connecting me to this channel!

[Goaddichnixan]

I call the two states of dysregulation burnout and boreout. Just came out of the overstimulated dysregulation with insomnia and panic attacks. For me it helped to be taken seriously by doctors and getting help - just the feeling of not being left alone with this. And then I also did the six steps you suggested and meditation and the 4-7-11 breating technique.

It takes time but after 3 months it got better and I started to sleep better. I got some emergency appointments from a therapist but not for my adhd. But it helped nevertheless. Just because I had some social connections and appointments and would not stay home alone all the time.

[ZoeMikelStites]

I had never thought of my depression and disconnection as a part of my dysregulation before. It makes sense, but I also have bipolar disorder so anything not bipolar depression was put in the "eh I guess people just normally feel this sometimes"

[lisafriedrichs]

This is exactly what I needed to listen to today. I have been so depressed lately. And now I am recognising it as being dysregulated. I had made the decision yesterday to start looking after myself. With what you mention as the 6 essentials and I recognise that hygiene is my catalyst. Thank you for being real in your video. And I have literally been crying the entire week 😢

[tswizzleeva]

“According to my favourite Ho” is so funny 😂

[a_trauma_llama]

That was amazing! I knew a lot of this but hadn't connected the dots. Like, why walking helps some days and not others (different disreg). Sending this to every ND I know! 🎉

[federicade]

I now have a page in my journal full of notes from this video, thanks a lot, Hayley!!🤘
I wish I had this video before, since I now realize I probably have been dysregulated for the last 4+ months and did almost nothing to help myself to get out of it. Luckily I had a great therapist by my side and a recent AuDHD diagnosis, which pushed me to work towards something! I now know that I'm probably slowly getting out of my dysregulated period, I'm going to start a new job soon, in a new country, so I'll keep practicing your "during dysregulation" tips and the "preventative measures" later on. The "catalyst" Fucking GENIUS, you might just have changed my life with that! 😱❤‍🔥

[leticiaximenes]

I hardly comment on any video on Youtube at all, but I really felt the need to tell you: this video itself just helped me regulate my emotions right now and motivated me to put in the work. Not everyone has access to good therapy, adequate treatment or advising in general and sharing what's been going on with you, how you've been managing it and doing it responsably, put it the work of doing a research, it's such a great thing. Thank you for putting yourself out there and I hope this is as helpful for you as it's been for me and certainly many others. Thank you :)

[laurenhoover]

I echo many other folks in the comments - this video found me when I absolutely needed it. I have suspected that I have undiagnosed ADHD for about a year now, after about 30 years of thinking I'm a depressed, anxious failure of a human being. I have been aware that I have been in a "burnout" state but it felt more "crazy" than usual, (I know, it's not the best word but it's how my brain makes me feel), dealing with more suicidal ideation, etc.... and it's the dysregulation. I didn't even make it through the full video, I just stopped and finally spent the time finding a telehealth clinician that could get me in for an intake appointment - something I have been thinking about doing (and started and failed SO many times) for about 9 months (after deciding that I need telehealth because I can't continue the painful cycle of finding an in-person therapist, then flaking out after like 3 visits because I can't make it to the appointments and cancelling and rescheduling, and wasting money on cancellation fees... etc.).

Your video motivated me not to give up over the 4 hour saga of searching for all of my insurance information, figuring out how I can even find someone that my insurance takes, finding a place and then them saying that they actually don't offer what their website said they did, crying out of frustration and disappointment, BUT then remembering that I promised myself this time I would make it happen no matter how frustrating it was or how long it took, and tackled it again. I DID IT! And now I'm crying out of exhaustion and relief, which is it's own issue (and also a tell-tale sign of dysregulation for me, crying or almost crying about so many things that to other people makes zero sense).

Anyway, THANK YOU!!!

[wonderlandeldemonanastasi]

This upload is a gift, Hayley 😔 was feeling awful this morning due to already lower dopamine than usual due to sleep deprivation and then my morning being flooded with dopamine-sapping things just because I got out of bed, and having to go to work immediate. Then I had to deal with work annoyances, and I opened up ranting about what I'm dealing with as one person living with two cats and how I barely had any time to do a five minute sketch to get my dopamine up for those five minutes, and it all got horrendously worse when a coworker told me to my face that transphobia isn't real, right after I cited it as a reason I can't live with my parents (I'm a trans man). One of the worst things you can say to me in that moment when I am already very visibly and audibly not having a good day, and I got to go home early, and am about to go to my second job. Ten hour workdays don't work for me because they don't allow me time in the morning to give myself the dopamine I need to function and be peaceful. I shall continue watching this happy video, thank you for this 🥺🥺🥺

[NHR_Music]

Honestly this video hits the nail on the head in terms of my life the past 6-7 months.

[sparky]

The “six things” is absolutely perfect. Thanks for that.