Hyper vigilance explained in 3 ways. #childhoodtrauma #protector

[buffalomomo]

My therapist once said to me, “Tools fashioned in danger require danger to be useful.” And suddenly I understood so many of my poor life decisions. ❤

[clararob]

The pushing away healthy people has always been my thing. When I was younger I told myself they were boring but in reality I didn’t feel comfortable around them because I was so unhealthy 😢

[christineribone]

My parents fought horribly all if my childhood life. They played dirty tricks on each other, and stole and lied to each other. There was no love or respect, only abuse.

Consequently, I always thought the proof of a good relationship was being able to still be together after a fight. So when I started dating in my 20's, I would pick fights, bad fights, to see if the boy really loved me. I felt unloved because they all left me.

It wasn't until my 30's that I realized I was the problem. I never knew what a healthy relationship was. Dysfunction and abuse was all I knew.

[everstar]

Recently I've been dealing with starting to come out on the other side of living with trauma. It's been hard with things starting to feel "normal" and "boring". This video helps to understand that my hypervigilance is starting to decrease, and even though it can be majorly uncomfortable at times, it is a good thing.

[meanerrweinerr]

"Hypervigilance does not like the absence of stress or a threat"
Wow... this perfectly describes my life right now. I'm making my life more stressful for no reason and I'm always picking up on fake signs of danger.

[rebeccacarlson]

This doesn't sound weird to me because I've lived life like this for all my life!!

[DidiRizzo]

I literally make people uncomfortable by trying to make them comfortable. I assess everything!

[cathipalmer]

Not being comfortable with NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND THE DANGER is not weird - and now I know why happiness makes me uncomfortable.

[katradiction]

Me literally today in therapy: "my boss is quietly letting me work and even though I know it comes from his confidence in me, it gives me anxiety."

[smeag]

This makes total sense. Always prepared for the next emotional explosion, the next fire to put out. There is no down time.

[KOME]

One thing that never gets talked about with hyoer-vigilance... excessive caffeine!!!! There have been times when I've weened off my caffeine intake and I've felt so much better! Working on weening off again.

Hope this helps some one.

[BETH..._...]

When it's all you know 😔 it's exhausting. Thank you Patrick.

[youtubeblockedme]

I ment a friend... who had childhood trauma....what I noticed about her was she constantly noticed things not worth noticing. she finished my sentences quite often and never felt present. her life was nothing but trauma from the time she was a child and even while I knew her there was always something major going on.. I didn't even know this was a thing but I knew there was something odd about the way she would notice a spec on my clothes, a leaf in my hair, a snake on the bike trail. all distraction from the conversation.... yet she was a messy and disorganized person. not ocd but hyper observant and vigilant.

[milliereeves]

I feel like my hypervigilance has led to depersonalisation. It's like a part of my brain has gone 'nope you can't handle this much stressing and thinking all the time' and it's just shut down and stops me feeling anything. But then that's become the source of all my worry now. Really wish I could break this cycle.

[jessicahopwil]

So true. I remember when i left my home and got taken in by another family and the Mum was just like sit down and relax while she was doing the ironing and i started to shake and freak out because I wasn't doing housework or helping contribute. I was just waiting for her to start tearing into me for not helping. It was very stressful

[le_th_]

When I had PTSD (adult), I had ZERO tolerance for any stress, loud sounds, or any possible threat. I was hypervigilant as hell, and all I could deal with was calm, stress-free quiet environments.

I had zero tolerance to spend even one second in stressful, chaotic, or threatening situations.

[whodoyouvoodoo]

This resonates with me in my romantic relationships. My dad was never physically violent but was always and still is verbally abusive. Especially towards my mother. They are still together and although my folks are getting older, (70s), my father continues to verbally attack my mother daily. She does not react. She's very religious and gives it to God.
I now see that this dynamic was traumatic for me. And if I'm honest, it still bothers me greatly when I visit them. Hence why I myself date men that verbally attack me. Some part of me wants to "fix" them. I'm trying so very hard to break this cycle but it is extremely difficult. I am now a single mother because once child was born I realized her father was never going to change. I currently am not dating, nor am I looking to date. I am solely focused my my beautiful daughter and giving her the best life that I possibly can.

[savannaurban]

Very interesting. I found out that I seem to do well with stressful situations and hardships in life. But when life is going well, I seem to crash and go into depression. Almost like I really don't know what to do with myself. Or how to find joy in things if it isn't necessary for survival.

[VioletEmerald]

Honestly one of the best signs of my healing was when I realized I'm not hypervigilant anymore. I'm just not.

[bethmoore]

I have lately puzzled over why I won’t let myself play the piano or listen to music on my ear buds, as I go through my day. It has to be news, analysis, etc. I know I would feel better if I listened to Chopin, Schumann, Warren Zevon, or Lady Gaga, Cardi B, or and Afro-Celtic group I like. Those things give me joy. Why would I not want to do that?

It’s hyper-vigilance. Some of us with CPTSD have both local and globalized hyper-vigilance. A lot of my recovery has been due to my human rights activism over the past 20 years. Kantian morality, summed up by the Categorical imperative, has given me clarity about who I am and what I should do. It has given me courage to stand up to my family. I’ve even learned how to be arrested without freaking out. That’s huge, for someone with my diagnosis. It’s because civil disobedience has a mindful purpose, and I did it without fear, on behalf of people deprived agency, power, or equality.

However, the inability to be mindful about the things that give my heart joy and peace is still something I struggle with. There’s still the fear that something awful will happen without warning. Thank you for reminding me of this, and how it affects me. I’m no good to anyone if my spirit is ragged and spent by hyper-vigilance.