Malignant Narcissism | Is it Narcissism and Psychopathy together?

This video answers the questions: What is a malignant narcissist? How doe malignant narcissism manifest in work settings? Malignant narcissism is a construct is not well studied, but in general refers to an individual has a combination of characteristics related to narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, paranoia, and ecosyntonic sadism in aggression.

Psychopathy:

There are two types of psychopathy: Factor 1 (primary, interpersonal affective) and Factor 2 (lifestyle, antisocial) psychopathy. Factor 1 psychopathy has characteristics like grandiosity, pathological lying, manipulation, a superficial charm, callous, unemotional, low neuroticism and lack of guilt or remorse. Factor 2 psychopathy has a parasitic lifestyle, being prone to boredom, sensation seeking, impulsivity, irresponsibility, a failure to have long term goals, poor behavioral controls, and criminal versatility.

Narcissism:

There are two types of narcissism: With grandiose narcissism we see characteristics like being extroverted, socially bold, self-confident, having a superficial charm, being resistant to criticism, and being callous and unemotional. Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by shame, anger, aggression, hypersensitivity, a tendency to be introverted, defensive, avoidant, anxious, depressed, socially awkward, and shy.

Kernberg OF: Severe Personality Disorders. New Haven,
CT: Yale University Press, 1984.

Kernberg OF: Aggression in Personality Disorders and
Perversions. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1992.

Kernberg OF: Aggressivity, Narcissism, and Self-
Destructiveness in the Psychotherapeutic Relationship.
Yale University Press, 2004.

[stephanieb]

I know first hand just how dangerous this kind of person can be. I would describe their abuse like Being Murdered right in front of the world and nobody noticing. They use your “reactions” to their horrible behavior as a tool to convince others of their innocence and your “craziness”. It’s discrediting you and your character and done precisely well enough over time your reputation gets ruined. Very dangerous and so awfully painful. I’m going through it right now and it is unbelievable . I couldn’t write a storyline like this in my wildest dreams it’s that mind blowing.

[cathygoltsoff]

It really hurts when you have a narcissist deliberately trying to hurt you and you did not see this coming. It is as if they have an on/off switch as they can be nice to others and strangers and have an inner hostility and negativity towards those who care about them.

[jluttjoh]

For a long time you are just paralyzed, oppressed, and confused. Toward the end of this video, Todd gives great advice. You cannot react. Never let them get you off alone. They are beasts. They want to make you disappear. They are black holes, they take everything

[TheAfroCentricWoman]

I hit the parental jackpot. I have two cluster b parents. Needless to say, I've reparented myself, gone low contact with one, and no contact with the other. I've reconnected with inner child and I'm living a fulfilling life. I'm healing year by year, and I'm grateful.

[kam]

These are the scariest people you'll ever meet. These people can fool counselors.

[gwynhyfer]

I was married to a malignant narcissist for far too long. I "coped" by doing a psychology degree at home which involved going away to summer schools. Later becoming a full time student at Uni when all my boys were at school. And finally managed to break out of this toxic relationship after many years of slowly shifting the boundaries he constantly set in favour of myself and the boys. It's hard to do because these people do appear so nice in front of others so there is no support when they resort to nastiness or completely ignoring in private. Happily remarried to my childhood sweetheart we went to one of my sons wedding and I saw my ex-husband for the first time in 20 years.
Did I feel some kind of smug revenge to see that the years hadn't been kind to him and realise what a dull little man he was in real life - of course! I am human! Was I pleasant to him at the wedding? Again, of course - because he has no effect on me now.
The best way to treat a malignant narcissist is with absolutely nothing. Hard to do when you're right in the middle of it though...
Thank you, Dr Grande, for your excellent videos.

[turnthepage]

My aunt is a bone chillingly ruthless old woman. Dr. Grande this video is the most comprehensive explanation of highly dangerous narcs. Thank you!

[yehmen]

'Reaction is something that a malignant narcissist wants you to do', 'Just lay low'. Very, very good advice. When I started working in the financial services, I was wondering why some of my colleagues, who were so competent, had been repeatedly passed over for promotion, and were just doing their hours, keeping a low profile, and going home. Now I know they were in survivor mode. I slowly learnt to imitate them, downplaying my achievements (when I couldn't hide it : letters of praise from clients!) or hiding them (for example, not saying I was going away to Cornwall to hike several dozens miles, over the Xmas break) but it's been counterintuitive, as our neoliberal ideology recommends that we should all be striving to show how successful we are. Unfortunately, if you work with or for narcissists, that only triggers them and you become their target.

[ResilientSurfer]

To identify malignant narcissism removes years of trauma from enduring the gaslighting. Once you are able to see them do what they do so well in action and marvel at it while knowing that it has nothing to do with you at all, you become freed from their pathetic grip.

[andrewc.]

In closing; respond, do not react. Don't show emotion to them. Don't let them see that they got an emotional rise out of you. When you do that, you're cutting off their supply. Emotional vampire is another term for these people. When you're in there with a real narcissist, you can't afford to play games. I say "real" because these days, people throw the term narcissist around in the same way they do OCD. They can really missuse those terms. Those of us here know when we've met a real full blown narcissist because you never forget them. Ever. They leave deep scars that will always stay with you, in one way or another. Guard your hearts, dear ones.

[Holly-Berry]

Anyone else get caught up in reading the comments and then have to rewind bc you’ve missed the video?

[vaunniethayer]

You can find another job, but if this person is your parent then you are really in a precarious position from the very beginning before you have the understanding and skills to be able to lessen the impact. In my experience a malignant narcissist also gets worse with age.

[lollypopnarcy]

Sadism. They enjoy when people are sad. Yes, I agree with the closeness to Psychopathie. Yes, Manipulation. Exactly, about Power. They want to break people down. Yes, they hurt on purpose to see people suffer. Very good Video. Thank you.
That is true what you say about their Gaslighting. Yes, they can behave. No impulse controll. Scary! Right. Very charming and nice. Best Informations about Malignant Narcs.

[davidmuse]

You are such a wealth of information- a real expert and are helping so many people! Keep it up and Thanks!

[jeaniemattone]

I was so naive. After 20 years of marriage to one, I’m physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually exhausted.

[JaxonSmithers]

I took several psychology courses in college in the early 90's including abnormal psychology. I've learned more from Dr. Grande's videos the last 6 months than I did in any of those courses, great stuff!

[Dragonfly]

I was in an 8 month relationship with a malignant narcissist! Constant attack on any discussion we had. He would say don’t say those things I didn’t even know I said anything bad. He always looked for fights I could have spent 4 hours scrubbing the house but I was stupid for leaving the mayo out. Constantly tearing me down. He would say I was flawed and stupid. He screamed if I didn’t do things his way. He’s abusive at his job and say they don’t praise him or he made an employee cry.! He’s mean!
You cannot do anything rite, cannot have mutuality. He would say be careful how you talk too me. I’m an empath good hearted. I felt I was going to have a breakdown before going there. I had to leave him I could not take the picking, rage, yelling, dictator.

[supercommie]

Perfectly describes a boss I had once. I felt bad that I quit that job so fast when the abuse started, but now I realize I was really smart to get out when I did.

[GoAlamo]

You just described my mother. She made me so crazy I stopped believing my own self.

[Emeraldcity]

As a child I had a school Principle who would walk through the hallways screaming at the children. He was a short man with a bad temper. One time he spanked a young boy in front of the entire class for the "crime" of not getting to class before the bell rang. What angers me the most is that the teacher just stood there and let him do it. I'm so glad times have changed.