Malignant Narcissism & Our Undoing as a Species | FRANK YEOMANS

What is malignant narcissism? Is there really such a thing as a 'death drive'? Frank Yeomans explains what can happen when a malignant narcissist is the leader of a group (using Jim Jones and the Jonestown Massacre as an example), and how narcissism and egocentrism, along with a need for comfort, are threatening our survival as a species (climate change anyone?).

We talked with Frank Yeomans about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and how it can affect us on a personal and societal level.

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Frank Yeomans is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in his practice treating NPD and BPD. In fact, he co-wrote the manual on TFP for Borderline Personality Disorder!

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Disclaimer: "Please be advised this video may contain sensitive information. All content found within this publication (VIDEO) is provided for informational purposes only. All cases may differ, and the information provided is a general guide. The content is not intended to be used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have specific questions about a medical condition, you should consult your doctor or other qualified medical professional for assistance or questions you have regarding a medical condition. Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes does not recommend any specific course of medical remedy, physicians, products,opinion, or other information.

[sarahs]

I dated a malignant narcissist on-off for five years. He was the most charming, intelligent and entertaining person I’ve ever met, and also the most intrinsically evil person I’ve ever met. As time went by I began to noticed his attempts to destroy me or destroy my life; almost like it was a natural impulse. He never seemed to be fazed by the harm he inflicted while manipulating and using others. Witnessing the malignant narcissist up close is shocking to the point of preferring the state of denial - if not for the persistent churning in my gut.

[beanmachine]

The Old Storyteller - "And a Man sat alone, drenched deep in sadness. And all the animals drew near to him and said, "We do not like to see you so sad. Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it." The Man said, "I want to have good sight." The vulture replied, "You shall have mine." The Man said, "I want to be strong." The jaguar said, "You shall be strong like me." Then the Man said, "I long to know the secrets of the earth." The serpent replied, "I will show them to you." And so it went with all the animals. And when the Man had all the gifts that they could give, he left. Then the owl said to the other animals, "Now the Man knows much, he'll be able to do many things. Suddenly I am afraid." The deer said, "The Man has all that he needs. Now his sadness will stop." But the owl replied, "No. I saw a hole in the Man, deep like a hunger he will never fill. It is what makes him sad and what makes him want. He will go on taking and taking, until one day the World will say, 'I am no more and I have nothing left to give.'" ~Apocalypto

[joserrapere]

I have been a psychologist for over 30 years. I, too used to think educating people would make changes in how we see our world. Education has been so important in developing my own values. But I agree, raw emotion and the need to feel good about oneself and "right" is far more powerful in so many people today. There is a reason treating people with personality disorders takes years and dedication from those clinicians who have them as clients. But unfortunately those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder almost never get help, because they believe they are fine and everyone else is broken and misinformed. And personality disorders are going up in frequency I think for a myriad of reasons. And we elected a version of this as our country's leader at the moment and continue to deny science in ways that still floor me. I can only hope this horror will wake us up... be our next "never again" moment. I believe evolution is a continual back and forth with miniscule forward movement. Because we do not live very long, and the next generation is influenced by temptations (the falsehood being sold to us in modern materialism and the insatiable desire to fill ourselves) before the wisdom of the ones before have a say. I am hopeful that we are learning ways to change ourselves and communicate better so that the next generations will respect us and not write off everything we say. A lot of us, the elders, are not setting good examples. So many people are not able to communicate with those who think very differently without getting triggered into rage. I am hopeful with so many of the Millennials increasing in emotional intelligence. But there is still that disordered underbelly of very poor self awareness. I do what I can for myself and others, and it is scary.

[angecynthia]

Truly!!!! When you have a relationship with a malignant narcissist.... You get a never again moment...you can never look back because it is horror

[downhilltwofour]

I think it was Mark Twain who once said, "Show me a person who says civilization is advancing, and I'll show you an egoist."

[danielscheff]

The depressing thing about learning about narcissism is when you realize that no matter how well you come to understand it, nor how well you come to understand your loved ones who have it, there's no fixing it. It helps to know that, to an extent, so you stop bashing your head against the wall, and can learn to protect yourself, but at the same moment, you have to mourn the loss of loved ones, be they parents, siblings, children, friends, co-workers or whomever. Mourning the loss of someone that's still alive, and maybe still in your life, is a dark place to be.

[wolfgang]

"Sometimes I think narcissism will be our undoing as a species.." The gentlemen is not far off with this quote.

[Nancy-ywrr]

This is so bleak, but for anyone who has had an " intimate" relationship with a malignant narcissist, this rings 100% true.
Their immediate emotional needs always drive their behaviors, and they just can't recognize that- even if you see it and try to talk with them about it. They would rather destroy their own families than accept any information that they do not want to hear. I never could have imagined such insanity until I lived it with my ex spouse.

[souldeep]

This man is smart and has a heart. We need more people like this on this planet.

[theartzscientist]

I can’t believe this wonderful man just made sense out of my relationship with my Dad.

[rosemarieramsingh]

"Like lemmings over a cliff" great quote!

[nightowl]

Envy of others who have a meaningful life...and how is envy acted out?- it destroys the envied object/person.

[cbrashsorensen]

Like most people, I struggle with facing the "truth" spoken here but deep inside I SEE it though I want to run and hide. I am so grateful when honesty wins out over trying to make me feel "better" as if PRETENDING (denial) is better than KNOWING. Some days I am so sorry for myself that I have to be here to watch the human species unravel before my very eyes but it is undeniable.

[jiminy_cricket]

Thank you for posting this, any clips you post of Frank Yeomans are always a must-watch for me.

[MicheleLHarvey]

A very timely & important message to understand. Since life is the ALL of it (good & bad), we as thinking humans must accept this fact in order to work within that understanding. Those that can't see outside themselves, or imagine a larger picture spell doom for the rest of us. Historically, the narcissist's Trojan Horse move is their charm + entertaining quality. The distracted audience doesn't notice their pockets being picked. Rome's Coliseum was a monument of diversion for the masses. Our ignorance of narcissism is at our peril.

[rypoelk]

I feel like I could have a 12 hour conversation with Frank Yeomans. Very insightful individual and I appreciate his nuance on these questions around narcissism, which often seem to come from a place of compassion for these individuals.

[elizabethr]

I've been a climate research scientist for decades. I knew everything had to be done since 1987 when I was a child. I went into the industry early and effecting positive changes on an engineering level became my passion. Nothing cld have surprised me more than the general publics cold indifference and cooperations' need to make a profit at all cost, despite the near and long term ramifications. It's sick.

[tahwsisiht]

That is why you NEED to make sure that you NEVER settle with one teacher, one view. If you listen to only one view, especially only one person, you WILL become unable to see things from outside of your box. Even when you have a good teacher, EVERYBODY has a blind side, a shadow, a place that is not fully developed. With one teacher, you WILL lose your ability to think for yourself or to think critically. The only thing you are doing is reciting your teacher, without ever using your own mind. You willingly gave up thinking and reasoning.

[barrylyndongurley]

Just as we keep an eye out for rattlesnakes in the forest, we have to be observant and vigilant against allowing narcissists into our lives. As the world's worst recidivist in this respect, It's taken most of my life to finally figure this out, but now well worth the wait.

[herdeadlynightshade]

This guy's voice is so comforting. The diction, the timbre, the speed, etc. are all so soothing