Specific Boundaries, Staying Hopeful, S*xual Desires, Shame | Christian Dating Q&A | Melody Alisa

Thank you so much to Faithful Counseling for sponsoring this video.

In today's video, I'm answering your questions about navigating "the wait", dating, setting boundaries in Christian dating, our s*xual desires, shame, and staying hopeful that our "Boaz" is out there - somewhere! I hope you leave this video feeling encouraged and less alone on this journey. If you want a part 2 or to bring back the "dating and waiting" series, let me know int he comments, sis!

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Hi! My name is Melody Alisa - welcome to my channel. I lived in South Korea for two years where I met God and I documented my life as an English teacher (check out my Life in Korea playlist for more on this!) Now, I call Atlanta home. On my YouTube channel, I share my Christian faith and life as a creative, a newlywed, and a new mom through weekly new videos!

In this video, I'm answering some questions about boundaries and Christian dating. I cover topics like s*xual desires, shame, and guilt, and provide advice on how to set boundaries that work for you! If you're looking for advice on Christian dating, or want to know what boundaries are safe to set, then this video is for you! I answer questions from viewers and share my experiences with Christian dating. I hope you enjoy the video.

[MelodyAlisa]

hey, sis! In the comments, let us know where you are in your relationship journey! Are you in your single/ waiting season? dating? engaged? or a fellow member of #teammarried? calll!

[HeyItsMaori]

My boyfriend and I often say these desires aren’t bad they just aren’t needed now. There is a time and place for everything and right now we are focusing on building a God centered foundation.

[PrettiLee]

I’m 33 and waiting for marriage. I’ve kissed a lot of frogs and no longer want to give my body to someone who will not be my husband. I am so nervous and afraid of ultimately ending up alone. But I’ve tried to do it for so long without God and it hasn’t worked! Im learning to trust God and am building my relationship with God during my single season. It’s not easy but I’m learning to trust God more and more everyday. We cannot put limitations on God!

[Redrover]

Wow, when you said that these desires are not something to be ashamed of, my eyes welled up in tears! Because I have been feeling ashamed...I've struggled with sexual desires since I was very young, and dealt with masturbation and engaging in sexual intimacy with men in the past. Now that I am in my single season again, I am leaving it all up to God and I vowed to let Him guide me to my husband. Now I don't struggle with masturbation anymore, but after catching feelings for another man at my church, I found that I still struggle with sexual desires. The enemy has been tempting me in my dreams and whenever I would think impure thoughts about him, I would catch myself and feel so terrible. I cried the other day while praying because I knew I was following the same thought patterns from my sinful past and felt so guilty, I begged God "Please Lord, don't allow me to sin against you. I don't want to let another man come between us, I want to desire only You!" So this video is a huge comfort to me, because it's basically God saying that He doesn't condemn me for feeling things that He created me to feel.

[Heart]

Single, waiting and preparing. Sometimes I’m content in this season and sometimes I’m aggravated bc I’m like okay Lord where is he I’m ready to share life in the boundaries of marriage u know. Thanks Melody for the word

[rubyb]

I’m 38, and #teammarried! I’ve been married for 10 yrs. I remember when I was single I focused on the Lord, There are many things you will not have time to do as a married person. Marriage is great, but my hope for all women is that as you are single you allow yourself to know yourself better while you have time to think through without a husband and kids.

To help myself stay holy I would dress modestly and I would leave his place before 10 pm. I treated myself like I was in high school again lol. But like Melody says, draw near to the Lord and he will draw near to you. Be blessed ladies! 🙌🏾

[DMarrettTV]

I'm 32 y.o. Man. Single. Feeling alone in these comments but it can be super tough to stay strong and outta these streets. I'd like to be married soon. I pray for the encouragement and strength of all the virgins who are losing hoping.
And just all the people who want to honor their temple. Thank you for making this video.

[AnnAnn-gzux]

Hello beautiful Melody! I thank God for sending me here. I just love your videos. I was in a relationship for 15 years unmarried. We have five children together. I have also had other sexaul relations. Unmarried. The Lord told me this year, it was time to stop doing things my own way. The sexual desire and the unhealthy relationships, etc. I was doing all of these things hiding from God. But I have finally turned over those wicked ways. I know the true love I desire only comes from the Lord. I have not had sex in three in a half months. All glory to God. Because this was not easy. But I finally had to take a stand. I am so thankful each day for growing and evolving in the Lord.

[keishlyvazquez]

I’m newly single after a relationship that I thought was it but wasn’t lol I’m of course not looking but learning to learn from my mistakes and use this time to discover who I am I’m Christ and how my God sees me ❤️

[AngieeShipps]

Love this video so much! I appreciate your honesty and transparency. I have been single since I was born. I never been in a relationship or had a boyfriend and I hope this doesn't sound weird but I am so thankful. I am thankful because God has hidden me and protected me from the wrong guys my whole life. In high school and college guys would show interest or ask me out and I would say no because the Holy Spirit told me this isn't the person I have for you. I messed up at 23 being friends with a guy I had a crush on and God told me to let go of the friendship and I obeyed. I realized it was so important to obey God in that situation. I have been praying for my future husband majority of my life and asking God to prepare me to be a Godly significant other and wife one day. I do have crushes so that's fun but learn not to fantasy about them and just respect them. I often pray over my sexual desires and just surrender them to God and not take them away. I'm enjoying my single season at 27 years old finishing up graduate school and working towards landing my dream job in the mean time.

[robinvanrensburg]

I’m 22 and I’m in my single season. 4 months ago I was in a relationship and my ex partner wasn’t saved. God spoke to me for longer then a year to leave the relationship, and I finally did. We were dating for 3 years and 5 months. Single season this far hasn’t been the best but I know it’s worth it. ❤️

[samantharassie]

I'm 26 years old.. I've never had a boyfriend or even had a proper kiss. I've chosen to honour God, myself and my parents. I also have a promise ring which my parents blessed me with at the age of 21. It was not imposed on me but we had a conversation about it before they got it.

Its definitely not easy waiting and hoping and trusting that God is going to come through especially in the society we live in. I have seasons of loneliness and there are times when I'm filled with doubt.

I desire a godly marriage, a healthy one, and I would love to be a mom. My constant prayer is that God would grant me the opportunity to be an amazing, wholesome and Godly wife to a man after His own heart.❤

[mariahornage]

Thank you for this message. I remember someone said in a singles group that I was in years ago, "not everyone will get married" and while it seemed harsh, they were speaking in love. It took a long time for me to understand, and I have come to the conclusion that we need to find our joy in serving others, sharing His Word and whatever He has planned for us, we will accept AND be okay because God is in control.

If we left this world tomorrow, unmarried, will we complain to God or thank Him for the people He put on our path to share His love.

[sibesonangalelwa]

I am in my single, waiting and preparing season. I have left it all in God's hands, am tired of doing things my own way which never work out. I am trusting him to bless me with a Kingdom Marriage. I pray that he helps me stay faithful and patient with him. I really want to live a life that honours God.

[aleishahicks]

I’m single, very much waiting… & I am not looking to date (because there are no prospects pursuing me). I’m one of those people that is wanting on God to bring us together and to be pursued. I’m trying to trust God in this area more bc parts of me are afraid… I don’t want to date the wrong people

[tammylashe]

I am single and waiting, but get discouraged because I don't get out much and don't know how or if I would meet the man God has for me. The old saying is he's not gonna come knocking at the door so get up and get out. Idk what to think Melody!!! Thank you for this video it was encouraging.

[nothile]

I'm a 23 year old virgin from SA🇿🇦 and embracing my singleness. This journey has been tough but I know that the fruits of waiting will be rewarding. I know and believe that God has much in store for me and just like Juanita Bynum I don't mind waiting on the Lord. And sis your videos are amazing God bless you.❤️❤️❤️

[TinaLudidi]

I related so much when you said "what God has for you exists". I'm definitely in my waiting season, and one revelation I've received from God today is that I can trust Him even with my dating life. People around me are in serious relationships, and I've felt so hopeless because I'm always in the wrong relationships, and lately the guys approaching me don't align with God's will for my life. But I've had to remind myself that His plans for me are prosperous, so He will guide me through it all because the right guy does exist... It just isn't the right time for me.

[MardiGrasMobile]

I’m 50 & single. No one of value ever approach me. I don’t understand why I’m still single. The loneliness is overbearing at times but I’m not willing to settle. I am constantly praying to God asking him to allow me to accept that I might end up single for the rest of my life.

[chizzyjacinth]

Reading through all the comments and I'm so grateful for you all❤️ I'm in my early 20s, single and not 'really' searching;8 months celibate and counting..while channelling my energy to some other things;I trust God to bring my Boaz at the right time. Shout out to you Melody.. you're my biggest inspo on this journey!