Why We Go Cold On Our Partners

Going cold on our partners is often a sign not that we have stopped caring, but that we are - somewhere deep down - furious or hurt.

FURTHER READING

“The story of the path to coldness in love is well known. We start off full of affection for one another and then – with time – feelings fade. We start prioritising work; we check our phones while they’re speaking; we don’t especially want to hear how their day went…”

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CREDITS

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Produced in collaboration with Tomás Pichardo-Espaillat

[LS-fpgv]

May you be blessed with someone who speaks your language so you don’t have to spend a lifetime translating your soul.

[InfamousMedia]

This is one of the scariest things in life on a purely human level

[Newme]

It’s not about being bored. It’s the continuous hurt and let downs

[jeandeanb]

"The hottest love has the coldest end." — Socrates

[herropreasesankyou]

this dudes voice is like a warm pillow, old leather jacket, and wooden cabin fireplace, all in one

[davebalmada]

It really hurts when you are on the receiving end of that "cold".

[gee.ttoo.]

In my last relationship whenever I would bring up these insignificant but completely important slights, he would either tell me it wasn’t worth getting upset over, or he would say he would change his behaviors and wouldn’t. People just want to be heard. Even if you don’t understand, just listen. That’s all it takes.

[ninja-loer]

I see many saying it hurts to be on the receiving end of the coldness, but I've been in both sides. Being cold with someone but still loving someone is awful.

[ImDavidBizar]

so the secret to a healthy relationship is communication, basically

[kayepotsie]

Sometimes we don't need to hear "I love you" and a kiss from our partners to feel relieved. Sometimes just a hug and a genuine apology will do.

[iartit]

Relationships feels like so much effort.

[janemarinelli]

I recently had a fight with my husband about how he easily dismissed something I felt important. I don’t even remember what it was about but as I tried to explain I felt tears well up in my eyes. I know logically it wasn’t that important to my adult self but after watching this video I realize the child in me was hurting.

[oliviahesson]

I agree that it's really difficult to voice some things that bother us without sounding like a baby, which in turn can be really humiliating and saddening.

[upandatom]

School of Life always makes me feel like I'm not alone in being an emotionally immature child. Yay!

[whatscrackin]

my last relationship was literally one of the best things to ever happen to me, we had been going through a rough lil mental patch on both our sides towards the end, she said i was the best boyfriend ever and that i did nothing wrong but that she couldn’t handle being in a relationship right now and was emotionally unavailable . My heart was so confused and broken that the person i loved so much could leave me so quickly, it was really hard and it still is. I felt so alone. it just sucks knowing that even if you tried your best and put your heart and soul into a person they could still up and leave like nothing. Each day i get better and better though and thats all im grateful for.

[cupcake]

It hurts when you badly want things to work out with someone, and they seem to want it too, but you two are operating on different wavelengths. Sucks when you caught feelings for someone you're fundamentally incompatible with. :(

[leftyfourguns]

Find someone willing to grow, learn, and improve as much as you are and you'll both be happy and in love with each other for the rest of your lives. You go cold when you stop growing

[MattLohkamp]

in short: share yourself with your partner. communicate your thoughts *and* your feelings.

[letsjustdirtbike]

Crazy how this randomly popped up. Must be a sign. My partner and I are going through this too! Better to go through it at 24 rather than 40. There’s still tons to figure out! Thanks for this! ❤️

[rishitaduhlait]

So basically dating is collecting information about someone untill you stop liking them . “The concept of familiarity “