Do you feel guilty for resting?

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Whew. I used to get so much grief from my mother for sleeping upwards of 12 hours a day. My ex husband gave me lots of grief too. When these narcissistic demons suck out all your energy and will to live, you get tired. No amount of rest is going to fix it until you get free of them.

Everyone thought I was lazy. I was exhausted, soul-deep exhaustion. I wasn't lazy. All those decades of abuse and neglect did a number on me, and I still haven't recovered.

Thank you, Nicole! The validation feels good.

spacegirl

I don’t recall being pushed to “do” as a kid, but I definitely have the relax guilt. The “jumping up to do something when you hear someone arrive” really hit home.

ANNA

Man, I wish I could have realized this before I got cancer young. These type of parents suck the life out of us 😢

Kf-qfhw

EXACTLY how I was raised. To what the child To this day, at age 65.
Horrible way to raise children

lindahall

Looks so much like my mother. Now I rest as often I can. It took me many years to get rid of the guilt.

jennsuicune

Your self worth is diminished if you rest. Work, excellence equals love....that was a hard and fast rule in my childhood home.

Thatgoatgirl

On top of that you will be in alert mode all the time even around loved ones because you try to steer clear of being called lazy.
Conversations, interactions and regular down time will all be just another time to be on the outlook, pretending to participate when you really need rest.
Yeah like my dad didnt understand how psychologically torturous school was for me and how often and how long i actually needed to get some time off whenever i could. If ever i was lazy for looking almost consumed in a fantasy world that shouted escapism. My father really is a struggling EIP (emotionally immature parent)

EtherTheReal

Raises us to be a Human Doing not a Human Being. Thank you SO much for this! Now I am burn out, depressed, anxious and it is a vicious circle probably many can relate to. It feels so awful to not be functioning well.

BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat

And then they complain about the work never ending and being tired all the time and you just can't help but look at them thinking, "Gee, maybe you wouldn't be so tired if you took breaks, " but you can't tell them that.

berryzem

Got the guilt educationally. Having undiagnosed ADHD made it feel like I was working twice as hard for half the results. Spent all of high school doing homework from 3:30 pm to midnight with my only break being dinner, staying up until 3-5 am cause i was so desperate for any kind of me time, then up at 7 for school the next day. Then I'd cry when the inevitable burnout gave me subpar grades. Currently in college and I feel guilty if i sleep more than five hours a night because I'm "wasting" time. But things are definitely better now, at the very least i can choose what to worry over and i have the independence and capability to start working through it.

lemonberry_soda

Rest is very essential for humans never be ashamed to recharge and relax ❤ i have to remind myself this with my child me and my baby will have a day where we can just chill in our pajamas and cuddle ❤

ExoticYoni

thank you for this one!!! The past year or two I’ve been dealing with seriously bad hyperactivity and having to “force myself” to relax. It’s frustrating when you mention in group therapy “I’ve been so hyper vigilant the past year it’s hurting my body so badly I’m exhausted and in pain from doing things” and folks tell me at least I’ve got a good coping mechanism and how they wish they could have my energy but I hate it I hate survival energy lmao I’m safe now and have medical conditions that ache constantly I want to relax sometimes without forcing myself to in my own home 😅🫠

BunnyTheCat

The amount of times I had to pretend to work so I wouldn't get yelled at for not doing anything was crazy. I felt like an employee randomly moving things on the shelves so the manager doesn't fire you for standing around. Sleeping in wasn't allowed and I didn't have any breaks when it was "clean the house day". I wasn't safe in my own home and had to be on constant alert if my mom started yelling.

gothica

I'm using a sizeable chunk of my PTO this month to stage a massive intervention, and am resting as much as I can. I greatly credit your videos for giving me the courage to take these steps.

asmora

I was raised in a religious cult that truly believes females should not rest and were created by god literally to be the servants of men. This message was internalize very deeply, even when I didn't believe the sexist bs. Fast forward, now I've escaped but I am physically disabled with a genetic disorder that causes many health issues including frequent injury and chronic fatigue. I can't rest, I can't sleep, I can't even do some of my physical therapy because it's impossible for me to relax. The guilt and shame of "not being useful enough and earning my keep" is so overwhelming, despite years of therapy. This message is so subtly sinister, it truly ruins lives

heresyisecstasy