When narcissists leave you feeling guilty

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[sixthsenseamelia]

Guilty for putting up with their shit.
Guilty for settling for less.
Guilty for selling self short.
Guilty for not using the door.

[karolinagren]

Meanwhile the narcissist doesn't feel guilty about anything: not about putting pressure on you to do something, not about contacting you randomly, not about seeking attention from someone outside of your relationship etc etc.

[reallifepsych]

“Guilt is the glue of the trauma-bonded relationship” hit the nail on the head as usual Dr. Ramani! I hope everyone reading this is one step closer to overcoming the guilt of setting boundaries and moving forward!

[NarcSurvivor]

Guilt is a powerful emotion. The narcissist will be satisfied with any reaction they get from you, but guilt makes them feel like they’re right and you’re wrong. It makes them feel like they’re superior to you.

[nikkilove]

Absolutely...guilt is a big reason people stay with the narc...the guilt of leaving or hurting someone, even when they're toxic.

[EllenDScott]

" You can't win if you communicate..." Now THERE'S a huge truth! "You can't hurt the narcissists feelings because they have a tendency to feel victimized when the get called out.."
"You can't win if you set boundaries cuz your gonna feel guilty for setting that boundary, you can't win if you stay silent, ... You can't win if you think a bad thought about them - you feel guilty for being a rotten person, ..."

Perfecto! Thanks Doc and community - Have a great day!

[kristenstewart]

This is what my vulnerable/covert narcissist father does. He will do the most horrible and destructive things and then play victim after. For example, over Christmas he did something really cruel and nasty, so I didn't speak to him for several weeks. Of course he was on his best behavior, peppering me with "miss you" texts and finally sending me an email about how sad he was that I wasnt speaking to him. When I reminded him WHY I wasn't speaking to him, aka the nasty, cruel thing he did, he brushed right over and went back to how hard it is for him to not speak to me. It's so twisted and manipulative. Literally cannot trust a word that comes out of his mouth- it's all a part of a plan for manipulation, no honesty

[realhealing]

My whole toxic family used guilt to control me. I just realized that I was trauma bonded with my toxic family. I have gone no contact. I needed the space and time to get my mental health together. I feel like my family brainwashed me into complete servitude. These unhealthy patterns ruin lives.

[NarcissismExposed]

Guilt is for the you recognize how evil and treacherous the narcissist is and you detach (RUNNNN) and go NC, there is only relief and thankfulness for having "escaped" the narcs clutches. I have a saying, "ONCE YOU KNOW, YOU GOTTA and prayers to all in your recovery! Thanks Dr. Ramani!!

[peachclip]

The person with narcissistic personality in your life spends all the time invalidating all your feelings except for guilt. They validate that to the point it feels like dessert to you. That it makes it feel like guilt is the only thing that makes you feel connected to that person anymore.

[-justbrowsing-]

The Narcs I surrounded myself with throughout so many years, asked from me things they will never have done for me.

[tictactoedias]

I feel guilty for not accepting breadcrumbs, and abuse and have walked not anymore !!!!

[Maellegasy]

Feeling guilting for opening up to them and have them invalidate my feelings and weaponize my insecurities against me. Never again

[olyguy]

Don’t let them take over your emotions. Regulate them yourself. If you let them hijack your conscious and train of thought they will wreak havoc on your inner self and leave you feeling turned inside out. They will not accept any responsibility for this and point the finger at you.

[devidaughter]

guilt for not feeling like you have not done enough to please the narcissist. . . guilt for feeling like you have let the narcissist down (9:40). . . guilt for hurting the narcissist's feelings" (11:30). . . guilt is the toxic glue that binds the narcissistic relationship (12:20; 14:30) - so true! for me a pervasive sense of guilt and anxiety were so predominant that I couldn't feel anger or outrage (even now), because I felt so responsible for 'taking care of' them. what a relief to be told "you did nothing wrong'!" (14:40)

[sharonkingston]

Pack your Bags! We're going on a Guilt Trip 🤣 said the Narc 😂

[scortez]

Last year i did group therapy and something the therapist mentioned that resonated with me was at times we feel guilty for celebrating accomplishments because others are having a hard time. I got into a scholars program and refused to share it or celebrate it because I felt guilty if i did. After that session i made the choice to celebrate myself more because i am worthy of it. I love your videos Dr. Ramani.

[AC-fjkz]

Oh boy this is exactly how I have been thinking and feeling. So much guilt, so exhausting just to survive day by day. I'm out at last and realise what was happening to me!

[tearoahbrooks]

I needed to hear this, I have been in tears all night, confused about feeling guilty and if I should or shouldn't. I get confused with am I the narcissist or am I not or am I part narcissist, by nurture or nature. Thank you I needed to hear this.

[lamehoney]

Growing up with a narc in the family sets the tone for every relationship you will have. You learn when you are young to diminish yourself, walk on eggshells, etc. As an adult it's almost impossible to set boundaries or say no without feeling guilty. The emotional scars these people leave are life sentences.