Overcoming Toxic Relationships - When Families Attack--Avaiya Interview

Jerry Wise is interviewed by Ande Anderson, founder of Avaiya University, in a video where he discusses strategies for dealing with toxic relationships. Jerry Wise is a frequent speaker for Avaiya University and its conferences, which offer free workshops led by top thought leaders in psychology and recovery. Avaiya University hosts leading speakers, including authors, coaches, therapists, and academics, in the fields of recovery and personal development.

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[cassandramiguel]

I just got back from visiting my family after a couple of years, and this is exactly what has been happening to me. My sister decided to hit me and inevitably we got in a fist fight. I didn't EVER expect this from her and to top it off my mother as cold and unwelcoming but they are both so good at putting a front making themselves look so mature and respectful. Makes me sick when people fall for this. These videos are soothing to us who were brought up to these dysfunctional families. Please upload more content. Thank you

[jerrywise]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to thank all of you for being part of the community and always engaging with my work and my videos. It's highly appreciated and I do not take it for granted.
Jerry

[privatejen]

Thank you Jerry, your talk is affirming. For most of my life, I was a sponge; absorbing my parents emotional conditions. In the last 10 years and especially as I turned 50, I began the process of differentiation. I had been avoiding the pain of separating from them because I wanted to be part of the family and also be myself within my family. My fear of abandonment and rejection led me to abandon and reject myself. When I woke up to how I was mistreating myself (through therapy for many years, reading self-help books, learning different perspectives by being around people who were more open and compassionate, listening to various podcasts and Avaiya), I developed the courage to gradually assert my boundaries and be at peace with who I am and who they are.

[kristaweber]

This is a great interview. I am doing no contact with my mother right now because of the emotional abuse I have endured. My siblings protect her and deny anything is wrong. It helps me a lot to listen to this and begin to understand how I can build my SELF and set boundaries with my family. Thank you. 👍😁

[AZDC]

7:20--"Families ATTACK to expel pain they cannot handle within the system." It seems like the ultimate BLAMESHIFT to me (from cowardly bullies like that!)

[sherylbeamer]

Jerry Wise your voice is SO PROFOUND. Thank you for your voice and wisdom you so generously share with us. You help me so much, together with therapy I am on the road to being grown up and differentiated and your voice has been pivotal 🙏🏼💕🥰
Have a wonderful Easter

[Луноцвет]

Oh thank God. I was wondering why I get so annoyed at seemingly innocent caring questions and don't want to answer.

[jonathanharrington]

You've got to learn about Narcissism to identify it when it raises it's ugly head.
You'll be glad you did.

[AZDC]

7:30 "You THINK it's about you. But it's not REALLY about you. It's about a system's ANGER and how it handles pain!" Thank you so much for saying that because I have no idea how badly I need to hear that. Some part of me was still taking self-plane and this gets you back to what my gut was telling me or whispering that you said that I would not listen to until you just said it. It's tough coming from parents even though they're not close to you an indirect are very direct ways here and there when you barely deal with them. I'm getting a Mass attack for my whole former family of origin even though I live all the way in Arizona across the country. What a bunch of pathetic bullies! They didn't need to do this. Why don't they attack the kid that stole $20, 000? Oh yeah, that's a Golden Child. (They hacked my phone too and I screenshots and prove it so they'll just say I'm a jealous person or something allegedly.. but as the video title goes, I'm sick of being attacked!)

[jennylynn]

Yay! Excited to listen and learn! Thank You, Jerry! :)

[mariannepettersen]

Wow, this was a real eye opener! Thank you!

[sy]

Excellent reasons why attack happens…👌

[mapleleaf]

I started to say no and boy are the attacks coming in hard. Then we have to clear something up, it was said with authority. I wasn't going to step in that pool of sharks. I said no and left. I am waiting for more incoming. Thank for this post.

[drnobody]

This entire conversation is a trigger to me, mostly because I’m in this particular fire.

[rturney]

Growing up my parents both worked at a large corporation. They would pick up from coworkers not to do “too much” for your kids/ don’t show up/ “put yourself first”. They were easily influenced.

[Robmm]

"There are games afoot". There sure are and the sibling playing them does not like me calling her out after all these years one bit. Thanks Jerry.

[kareemmohammed]

very insightful and helpful video Jerry. much appreciated as always.

[acfatemi]

Interesting and useful explanation. Jerry Wise really helped me to understand my situation

[ponytail]

This is a great video! Thanks so much!