How to Handle Crushes

Secret crushes are going on pretty much all the time (in our minds), driving us to ecstasy and quite a bit of pain too.

FURTHER READING

“You are introduced to someone at a conference. They look nice and you have a brief chat about the theme of the keynote speaker. But already, partly because of the slope of their neck and a lilt in their accent, you have reached an overwhelming conclusion. Or, you sit down in the carriage – and there, diagonally opposite you – is someone you cannot stop looking at for the rest of a journey across miles of darkening countryside. You know nothing concrete about them. You are going only by what their appearance suggests. You note that they have slipped a finger into a book (The Food of the Middle East), that their nails are bitten raw, that they have a thin leather strap around their left wrist and that they are squinting a touch short-sightedly at the map above the door. And that is enough to convince you. Another day, coming out of the supermarket, amidst a throng of people, you catch sight of a face for no longer than eight seconds and yet here too, you feel the same overwhelming certainty – and, subsequently, a bittersweet sadness at their disappearance in the anonymous crowd…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Stephen Henderson

[MyManThong]

So, we have crushes because crushes give us in some sense the feeling of perfection, because we know so little and our minds fill in gaps that make a person seem perfect because we know no flaws? Genius. Love the idea!

[kmeda]

""The only normal people are the ones that we don't know very well."

[SilverWave]

I am always wondering, _"What is the chance of someone having a crush on me that I have a crush on, too?"_

[BlackOreoCookie]

When I have a crush on someone, all I want is to be close to them, but when I am, i shut down and my mind stops working and all i can do is smile, nod and respond awkwardly.. All the time it's this ''come here but stay away from me'' cycle.. sigh.

[gloglotv]

To everyone saying he didnt tell you how to handle crushes. He's saying that it's good to accept your feelings as long as you don't trick yourself into thinking the person is perfect, acknowledging that they too are very flawed in some way or another.

[Redflowers]

"Everyone has something substantially wrong with them. Life has messed all of us up" - poetry to my ears

[Thenlightenedne]

"Everyone is crazy and troubled to be around. Everyone has something substantially wrong with them. Everyone is extremely hard to live with."

Well said. Accept this truth and you will find yourself more empathetic when someone violates your idea of perfection. You will be more personable. Just treat others in a respectful way regardless of flaws.

[ayetayaylor]

I think thats because in the end we are the ones who screw ourselves over. We fall in love with the idea of someone and not actually that person.

[AudraBurgess]

This guy's voice makes crushes out to be a horrible epidemic lol

[sndrjcb]

"Everyone is crazy and trouble to be around. Everyone has something substantially wrong with them." Not kidding, I teared up.

[bilalgreen]

I have a very strong urge to download all the videos in this channel from the fear of losing the internet someday !!

[lyla]

i think having a crush is honestly one of the hardest things you can go through as maybe a teen or even just a kid. it can really come at any age, and usually the reality ends up very bitter even when you try and sugarcoat it to make it look great. it's really horrible sometimes.

[Skinnymarks]

"they happen in the privacy of our minds"

NOT IF YOU TELL EVERYONE!

[paulharris]

I do not believe there is anything wrong with us. It is just hard for us to accept that we are IN life, but it is not FOR us.

[orelhai]

this video made me think of a good pick up line: "Hi, you caught my attention, you're very pretty. What are your flaws?"

[jemmac]

It's comforting to know everyone has something 'wrong' with them. I feel like a lot of us think we are the only ones with major flaws when really we are all in the same boat.

[OrgilB]

And there are some of us who love the feeling, but hate the reality. I know we all are messed up, but some of still hold on to the fairy-tale despite knowing the truth.

Sigh... Why do I keep falling for people who I know won't work out in the end but yet still hold onto that off chance of a fairy tale story...

[bolivar]

I hope that it doesn't sound pretentious or anything, but watching this, I thought of these lines by Shakespeare:
"And as imagination bodies forth
The forms of things unknown, the poet’s pen
Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name."
So all these crushes are made up of that " airy nothing" too, right??
Good to remember.

[woodeniron]

This is deeper than the hole she left.

[cclark]

I asked a girl out who I'd had a crush on for a while...I'll Never forget the way she gently said no. She 1st smiled big & told me how she was so flattered, then kinda apologized for having a boyfriend. Sure I was disappointed, but the way she acted so happy that I was interested....wow, it was a great way to let a person down.